It's a Female Dog

Today is Elijah's second day of his new life as a first grader. Yesterday was described by him as "the best day EVER" so it's been going well so far.

Most of you know by now from reading the blog for years, that he and I have a ritual each night. I lay in his bed with him for 30 or so minutes and we talk about everything from the latest transformer toys to the solar system. By the way, try explaining to your six year old why Pluto is not a planet anymore. I just told him it was demoted for non-performance.

Anyway, this past Sunday during our "laydown time" as he calls it, Elijah asked me a startling question.

"Daddy, what's a bitch?"

"It's what you call your new 1st grade teacher when she mouths off to you about your poor performance on the pop quiz she had no right giving you the day before."

Blogger does not let you put a thought cloud around quotes yet....if they did, there would be one around the quote above. Don't freak on me.

"One of the kids at the Montessori School used to say bitch all the time. What does that mean? Is bitch a bad word? Do we say bitch in the house? When is a good time to say bitch?"

I emphasize the 'b' in bitch because that's how he was saying it. It was almost like he was rubbing the word in my face over and over again.

"Bitch is a bad word, Elijah. We don't say that word around the house ever. You also don't say it outside of the house. It's the same level as asshole, jerkoff, dicknose, douchebag, fartknocker, scumbag and a host of other words we never say."

"What were those other ones, dad?"

"Get a pen."

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Hannah recently told me what she wants to do when she's "growed up." I was so proud. She wants to be a pancake maker.

I briefly considered taking her out of the 3 year old class at the Montessori School right then. She does not need a day more of schooling! I think you can apply for a degree in pancake making after registering for preschool. The pancake industry only needs to see that you enrolled in preschool and you are in. Think of the money we will save!!

She actually made me pancakes last weekend and they were fantastic! Much better than the pancake maker at IHOP here in Salt Lake. She could take that person's job TODAY!!

Thing is, what is the mecca job for pancake makers? I mean, you start mopping the pancake batter at Denny's, then get promoted to Director of Pancake Making there. Then maybe a headhunter gets you interviews at Marie Callanders and IHOP. Maybe you take a Junior Directorship at IHOP for a few years and get your certification. Then what? At least you have initials next to your name, Hannah Borenstein CPM. Maybe she will invent a NEW pancake or revolutionize the whole pancake industry. Hmmmm....HannahCakes! Her ticket is secure!!

From 1st Grade to College (Without Passing GO)

This is the title of my latest post over at DadBloggers.

Check it out!

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

We just completed hosting Deb's parents for ten days. My father-in-law (Bochi) is an avid fan of planes and trains so many of our activities around town centered around them. We visited the Hill Airforce Base, Union Station and the Heber Railroad. We rode a steam train through the hills of Heber and Deb had her picture taken in front of her favorite airplane, the SR-71. You can see all of the pictures from the visit on the gallery link to the right. It was a nice visit featuring TONS of eating. I think I gained 7 pounds! We had Deb's birthday dinner at Tango Grille downtown, an Argentine restaurant featuring MEAT. Lots of MEAT. We ate at Loco Lizards, iHop, Ruby Tuesday, Iggys and had several fantastic home-cooked meals of my favorite Argentine dishes, Milanesa and a pierogi and meat dish called Charkoye, which I cannot find ANYWHERE on the internet. Yum!!

So what's new with the kiddies? Hannah has become pure joy. She wears her intense emotions and love on her sleeve and sometimes you can even see it surrounding her....like in this picture. She is so sweet I can't stand it. I spend a lot of time squeezing her. She is liking the Montessori School and we are moving her to a program that is more suitable for her in September at a place called Buttons & Bows.

Elijah is starting 1st grade in TWO WEEKS!! I can't wait to write about that! He's been anxious about it but he gets comfort knowing that some of the kids from kindergarten will be there with him. Poor guy has been through so much change in the last six months. He's still all love though. He protects his little sister like she's a rare gem. He's my boy.

The big news around the house this week concerns #3! Sadie is crawling all over the place. It's not safe anymore!! She's fast and ACTIVE. Her checkup went great, she's growing at least two teeth and she's MOBILE.

I will work on posting some video of her crawling soon.

All else is well here in Utah! Our next visitor is in early September for a night or two and then Aunt Rockie comes for Rosh Hashana!!

And for those who are concerned....my "boys" have recovered quite well....