Hannah Leora

Dear Hannahle,

Since you turned three years old in May, I have noticed such beautiful changes in you that I find myself getting goose bumps just thinking about you lately.

You have become one of the sweetest, most caring and wonderful people I have ever known; and I can’t imagine how much more wonderful you will become once you start to understand how your sweetness affects others.

When I had my little operation this summer, you came to me every single day for a month and asked me how my boo-boo was. It wasn’t just that you asked, but it was the way you asked. You put your hand on my knee, looked in my eyes and asked me in the sweetest voice I have ever heard.

Most of our days end with me putting you in your bed. You don’t let anyone else do it if I am there. You always ask me to pick you up and carry you to your bed so I can protect your feet from the “hot lava.” When we get to your room, you always ask me what kind of tea I want and then pretend to fix it in your toy blue cup with “just a little honey, just like you like it.” You are so genuine that I can almost taste real tea when I bring the cup to my mouth. When I “drink” my tea, your eyes never leave the cup so you can see if I approve of the taste of my tea.

Sometimes, on the weekends, you take my order and prepare me my favorite pancakes with just a little syrup for dipping. Sometimes you share my syrup with me. I love that.

Every night at dinner, you always want to eat exactly what I am eating. When I eat a potato and you taste it, you say we are “potato partners.” When I eat corn and you taste it, you say we are “corn cousins.” When we eat tomatoes, you say we are “tomato twins.” You don’t always like what I eat for dinner but you always want to taste it. You are adventurous and eager to try all of the new things you come across in the course of your day.

Just about every day when I get home, you come running full steam towards me screaming, “DADDY!!!” and leap into my arms. As soon as I hug you, you ask how my day was. The best part of that for me is that you actually listen when I answer you. If I say, “bad”, you ask me why it was bad. When I say, “good”, you ask me why it was good, even though you already know the answer. It’s because I get to come home to a hug from you! You love hearing me say that and I can see how your eyes light up when I say that night after night.

The love and affection you show to your brother and sister are amazing. When Elijah comes home from karate, you always ask him how his karate class was. The other day, you begged me to take you with me to pick him up from his class. Together, we watched as he finished his moves and when he was done, you turned to me and said, “I am so proud of ‘Lijah!” You always help Sadie with her “tete” and blankie and you are gentle and compassionate towards her. You love how she wears your old clothes and can’t wait for her to be able to play with your Dora House with you. I know this because I hear you talking to her when you don’t know I am there.

Sometimes I just wish I could stop time and savor every moment just a little bit more. When I am peeking in at you playing in your room with Sadie, I always picture you ten, fifteen, twenty years later doing the same thing….

The other day when you were sitting on my lap watching TV, I asked you if it was OK if you ALWAYS sat on my lap forever. You said, “of course, Daddy, I’m your girl.” You didn’t see my face but I had a tear running down my cheek. You are right, you are my girl. And I am proud to be your Daddy.

I love you very, very much.

Love, Daddy

You are the wind at my back
You give what I lack
You're the jewel in my hand
You're like rain on dry land

You're the focus the beam
You're realities dream
You're the blue in my black
You're the wind at my back

And my soul has been kissed
Just because you exist
You're the dream that's a fact
You're the wind at my back

Mick and Mouse

It's weird how things manifest themselves in your life. Strange thing happened in my office this week. We discovered a mouse. All this week, we have been missing our family desperately because of our new cousin and newphew Mick. Everyone has met him and touched him except for us and it's hard being out here. Maybe it's Mick's way of saying he knows we are here and can't wait to meet him. In the 16 years I have been working in an office, I have never once seen a mouse. There he was yesterday, chomping on some scraps of food on the floor and scampering away when he was seen. Weird? The building management set traps last night but the mouse is still on the loose. I feel funny calling him Mickey Mouse but, for some reason, every time I think of the Mouse, I think of Mick. Maybe that was planned.

Mick is doing well. His IV is out and he is growing nicely. Candice gets to hold him every day and Scottie too. It's all good. He should be home in plenty of time for us to meet him when we go to NJ in late October!

Happy Anniversary Ma and Pop Borenstein!!!! Married 41 years TODAY!!!!

WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!

The Miracle (x2)

Most of you know that my sister and her husband have been expecting their first child this November. Most of you also know the process they had to endure to get to this point. A certain subtle post I made earlier this year alluded to this situation. In any case, all was progressing well with the pregnancy and the only sad part was that Deb and the kids and I would not be able to see "Nugget" for awhile because our visit to NJ in October would probably be weeks before the birth. We were making plans for visits in early 2007 to meet my future neice or nephew.

This past Saturday, we were visiting a couple at their home for Shabbat lunch. This couple keeps a kosher house and shomer shabbat. Shomer shabbat means no phone usage, no turning on electric items, no driving, etc. Of course, as soon as we arrived my cellphone rang. I decided to be respectful and not answer it. I knew it was Mom because she has a special ringtone with her voice programmed into my phone. "Hello my handsome son. This is your mother calling. PICK IT UP!!" I heard the voicemail signal beep so I figured I would respond later, after we left. Not sixty seconds later, the phone rang again with her voice. She would not call twice in a row unless something was wrong. I asked permission from the hosts and they urged me to answer it. Mom was crying. Candice was in the hospital with extremely high blood pressure (200 over 150 or something, she said) and the doctors have to take the baby by C-section immediately.

Candice had severe headaches that morning and was seeing spots. She was swollen and having mini-contractions. Scottie rushed her to the hospital. The doctor knew pretty quickly that she was suffering from preeclampsia. She was in the OR within two hours and gave birth to a 2lb, 9 oz baby boy around 5pm EST on Saturday. The baby was rushed to ICU and given IV's between his little fingers and a tube to help breathing. Candice was quite out of it for awhile while the doctors worked to bring her blood pressure down. It took over a day to do this.

The doctors said that the baby may get worse before he gets better and to fully expect this. Plenty of babies born nine weeks premature end up perfectly fine. The first few nights were scary for everyone. The baby needed some help on occasion with breathing but as of my last report earlier today, is breathing fine. He developed some jaundice last night but was in good shape today. Thank god. The prognisis is good and within six weeks or so, my new nephew will come home. Candice is being discharged tomorrow and will have to travel to the hospital every day to deliver colostrum for the baby. They give it to him through his IV.

I'll have more updates here as they come in. For now, it's yet another example of the Miracle of Birth.

Mick Hadar Goldstein, born September 2, 2006