Littlefoot

Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile - initially scared me to death.

One of my favorite quotes of all time. Proves itself over and over and over again. I know the rules of no pain no gain but, man, sometimes I wonder about the gain! Everyone close to me knows that 2004 was a difficult year financially for us. Sales were all over the place at work, months were inconsistent, the company had just gone public and my job was changing. In October, I got a nice promotion and started to turn things around. Things have been better since then. I knew it would be a long process to climb out of the abyss we had fallen into but we had a plan and it's been coming around. We felt comfortable enough in February to book a trip to Disney with the Turer's for the week after Thanksgiving. We told Elijah and Hannah about the trip and they were so excited.....

When Deb and I were dating, like most young couples, we talked about kids. Deb always said she wanted three children. She says that it's one to replace you, one to replace your spouse, and one additional person to replenish the loss of life the Jews suffered in the Holocaust. No doubt, that's a wonderful reason and worthwhile for sure. My position was always TWO kids. One boy - one girl. It's a manageable family and, because of the relationship I have with my sister now, I know it works. Deb is one of four and so, to her, wanting three was reasonable. We always differed on this. Elijah was easy to conceive but Hannah was not. We needed extensive help from a specialist to get Hannah and, after all was said and done, the same renowned Doctor told us that if we ever wanted a third child to see him two months in advance so he could start Deb on the necessary cocktail of progesterone and such to get her body ready to conceive. So, the fact of the matter was that it would be an ordeal for us to get pregnant again; which I felt was in my favor because it would be easier for me to convince Deb that two was enough. Well, in early March, Deb and I had a date and were eating at Mikado and the subject came up. I was happy to hear that Deb was willing to table the topic of a third child until after the Disney trip because she would not want to go to Disney pregnant anyway. NICE! Got her to put it off for another 10 months! When we left that dinner I was happy because, although I would never tell Deb she could never have another child, it certainly was the biggest difference we had in our relationship and, for now, it was tabled for months. Relief!

"I think you should pick up a pregnancy test while your at the supermarket." I had not heard that in a loooooooong time. Deb was "late" and, even though she technically could not get pregnant (so we were told), she still felt like we should do a test. I protested but eventually gave in and brought one home. The next morning I was awakend by a voice, "It's positive."

Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile - initially scared me to death.

BUT I DIDN'T DO THIS!!! How could this be? We are not supposed to be able to conceive!?! First emotion, disbelief. Then shock. Anger. Resentment. Virtual hatred of everything that is the reproductive process. I withdrew. I was rude to Deb, I was a nasty person for days. Unaccepting of what was fact. Emotionally, I was spent by 10am each day. Between thoughts of bankruptcy (paying for another daycare) and guilt (why could this not be happening to my sister, who is trying so hard for her FIRST), and selfishness (what will become of my home office now that we need the room?) and did I mention, bankruptcy? Money has a funny way of playing games with you, emotionally. It makes you believe that your life is good, or that it sucks. Really. If you have a few extra bucks in the bank - it could rain for 6 hours and flood your basement and ruin your carpet and that's OK. When you're broke, that same rain will cause you depression for weeks. It's MONEY. Not life and death!! When you have a few extra bucks in the bank, your car could break down and need extensive work and it's OK. When you're broke, having to budget getting an oil change causes depression and feelings of despair and worthlessness. It's MONEY. Not life and death!! When you have a few extra bucks in the bank, surprise pregancies are blessings - gifts from God. When you're broke, they are cruel jokes...tests from upstairs on how a body can function when littered with ulcers, high blood pressure and extreme angst. It's MONEY. Not life...and.........well, wait a minute. It is indeed about life, isn't it? New life.

So after digesting all of this and working all of this out in my mind, I emerged from my self-imposed funk and decided I had two choices. One was to resent my new child and the other was to come to appreciate fatherhood more and agree that enlonging the period of diaper changing and pureed squash was, indeed, a gift from God. No need to stop and think about my decision. So there is going to be a new baby! A new bundle of joy. New smiles and new noises. Another set of first steps, first foods, first words. New college education, new daycare costs, new...STOP IT! Sorry....just leaks out sometimes. :-) I am happy. Truly. I am OK with it now. It's funny because everytime somebody else hears the news, they immediately look at me, knowing my stance on three kids, and give me that look....you know the look. It's the look that says "wasn't the goalie SUPPOSED to stop the shots?" Everyone is concerned that I will not be happy with this. They were right for a time. But not anymore. Financially, it will work itself out. We will just be further strapped. When people ask why we are eating tuna fish out of a can with no mayo for breakfast, lunch and dinner, we will just have them look at the triangle table in the kitchen and observe the Cherios on the floor and they will understand....

So today is our 7th wedding anniversary. Seven years! Sometimes I am hard on myself because I feel I am a bit of a couch potato but then I think...before we have our 8th wedding anniversary we will have had three children, owned two houses, owned SIX cars, had five jobs and STILL manage to sit down for an hour and watch Deadwood every Sunday night...and be thankful about it. I am only a couch potato when I have TIME to be a couch potato! Happy Anniversary Huddy. I love you and I love our children. ALL of them.

So we are still going to Disney..just not until January. Elijah didn't seem to mind much because "I'd rather have a little brother." I am happy he gets it....even though he has no idea what the gender of this baby is.

"Elijah, you know there is a baby in Mommy's tummy. When you were in there we called you Peabody and when Hannah was in there we called her Deuce. What should we call this one?"

"Littlefoot."

Done.

Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile - initially scared me to death.

It's going to be OK. It's going to be worthwhile. I know it will.

Haley's Comet and Vampires

As I settle in for my "once every two months anymore" journal entry, I can't help but think of my friend Gary complaining how long it was between Def Leppard albums. This is different though because there was no accident in which anyone lost a limb, no drug addicted family member dying of an overdose, etc.. No, this is just a very busy...well...balding 30-something in Cherry Hill, as the title of this blog says....

I feel that, in some ways, I am doing a disservice to my family by not posting more often. Then I read all the stuff already here and get motivated to write more because life didn't stop!! My free time certainly did...but life has gone on and there is so much going on!

I could write a book about our dear friends Richard and Karen. Their rollercoaster of a ride seems to have settled down now - for the better. I could write another about our dear friends Gary and Nancy, who traveled the same road as Richard and Karen but somehow, someway, ended up in the middle of nowhere. Their story, for now, has no happy ending. We think about them every day and hope and pray that a little angel will show up on their doorstep someday too....

For Richard and Karen - their happy ending is in the form of a little bundle named Joshua Aaron. He's beautiful, adorable, happy, and most importantly - THEIRS!

Spencer and Lynne added a new one this week as well! Sophia Rose joins sister Sydney and everyone is happy and healthy! Our families are growing!!

Speaking of growing...Elijah will be playing BASEBALL this season. He is signed up at the CHYAA to play T-Ball. His first practices are this month and we are going to learn how to hit and field. The other night when Elijah was going to sleep, we were laying on his bed talking about baseball and he told me he wanted to be #5 and play left field. That's because his favorite baseball player is Pat Burrell. So I said OK and he said maybe Uncle Richard could make him a #5 baseball jersey. Then he started asking me about getting three strikes. He said, "Daddy, if I get three strikes and I am out of the game, don't get mad and do this (shrugs his shoulders)." Interesting, I thought. We all know Elijah is a rather sensitive kid but he's already worried about striking out? You can't strike out in T-Ball!! So I smiled and gave him the line that I will probably give him 10,000 more times..."It's not about winning and losing, it's about how you play the game." Then Elijah asked me a question...

"Daddy - if I get three strikes and go out of the game, maybe I can ask the vampire to let me come back in?"

I lost it.

I was laughing so hard my sides hurt. I told him to be careful because if he ever went up to the men in blue and called them vampires, he would NEVER be coming back into the game!!

It was an all-time Elijah moment.

He's getting so big - not just in body - but in mind. He's getting so independent it's scary. He's had a bit of a....hmmm how do I put this......poop problem the last few days. Anyway - about a month ago he began to clean himself up after going to the bathroom. He does a good job - not perfect - but pretty good. Anyway - he has this loose thing happening this week. He gets on the toilet and BAM - you know - and he says, "WOW! That wasn't good!" So I go in there to maybe help him out and he gets MAD at me. "No Dad, I can handle this. I want my privacy. Go outside." Fine. I go back to the dinner table. He finishes up and gets back in his seat to finish his dinner. So I ask him, "Elijah - how was your day? Did you have the same kind of poopy at school today?" He gives me the ANGRY face and says, "Dad - don't ask me about that. I can handle it - DON'T ASK ME ABOUT THAT." OK!!! No problem. I'm learning.

Hannah, meanwhile, is ALL OVER THE PLACE. She absolutely cannot be in one spot for more than.....4 seconds. We find her on top of the piano, on top of the couch, climbing over things, running with glass picture frames, etc. We joke and say that she's going to get stitches somewhere before the year is out. We have to get her in gymnastics or something.

It's funny because everything I heard about how two kids will be completely opposite of one another is totally true. Elijah can sit and watch TV for 3 hours - breaking to go potty or eat a piece of cheese. Hannah will watch TV for 4 seconds then do 150 laps around the inside perimeter of the house, breaking only to climb on the fixtures. Then she will eat a 4 course meal for lunch and Elijah will eat a few pieces of hot dog. The beauty of having two children.

It's important to spend as much time and energy as possible on the positive things in life. I've always said the important thing is to make the important thing the important thing. Otherwise you end up wasting time and energy AND being miserable. Bad combination. My folks need to recognize that now more than ever before. For years, they have been best of friends with Nora & Pat and for years it's been one happy occasion after another. Once celebration followed by another celebration.....

Last month, Pat, who had never been in a hospital before in his LIFE, got sick. Several tests later we found that he had Stage 4 lung cancer. He's been receiving his treatments since then and has had his ups and downs. My parents have been unbelievable - traveling to the hospital and to their house all the time to spend time with Pat and to help out Nora. It's been very difficult for everyone. Adding to Mom's worries is another friend of hers, Alicia, had a recurrence of her cancer recently and has been going through treatment. Add Buba Pearl to all this and it's surprising Mom is not a basket case these days. I think Hannah and Elijah help keep her in the here and now and keep her smiling. I wonder how Mom would be doing if I had gotten that job in Atlanta and moved down there with the kids.

Oh yeah - the Eagles lost the Superbowl. Oh well....the way I look at it - it's one step closer to BASEBALL SEASON!!! Pitchers and catchers in 7 days!!

So that's the update. Another baby is due next week with Adam and Kim expecting their first. Everybody is so BUSY!!!! It makes your head spin...

I'll try to be more frequent with updates..this one took all day to write - 8 hours on and off!

Always more to come!!!

JB

I was just teasing...

Nice. What the heck have you been doing for TWO MONTHS if you were NOT writing in your blog?? You mean to tell me you HAVE A LIFE?

You read my last post from October 10. You know what's going on at work. I've been BUSY! I get home and I'm exhausted and I eat dinner. Then I hang with the kids for an hour or so before it's bedtime. Life has been a big adjustment these last few months for me. It's all good though!

This Saturday is Elijah's 5th birthday. I told Deb that he was almost half-way to his Bar-Mitzvah and she nearly vomited. His party is at the bowling alley. He's been bowling once and loved it so that's that. Kids. Next month he will hate bowling.

Hannah is a blabbermouth. She has conversations with you and only she knows what she's talking about. For the first time, she felt like Daddy's little girl last weekend. I spent 2 days in Chicago and when I got back, she greeted me in the airport with the most incredible reception EVER. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! Then we had the best weekend - she was attached to me and I was to her. Awesome.

Happy Hannukah!!! Hanukkah is cool but all those new gifts for the kids makes the house a cluttered mess. You have to throw out the old stuff or donate it or something but Elijah wants to keep everything - a pack rat like his daddy. We had Hanukkah at Melissa's the other night and Elijah got THREE Playstation games - the first ones he ever got. I stood up and announced to everyone that it was the best Hanukkah I had ever had already and thank you. We went home, Elijah went to bed and Deb and I stayed up until midnight playing the games. It's good to be a kid.

Elijah loves getting presents too much...Tuesday my mom came over in the morning and when she walked in, Elijah said "where's my present?" Last night, my dad came over to light the candles with us and Elijah said, "where's my present?" Then he asked if he could open his presents 100 times in about 5 minutes. No shame.

I am going to post some pics next time. I gotta run now - but at least I posted!!!

jb

All's Well That Ends Well

Remember Forrest Gump? It was a great movie and it was filled with great lines. Who can forget the most famous of them all - "Life is like a box of chocolates....you never know what you're gonna get."

I've just completed the most difficult eight weeks of my professional life which took that Forrest Gump line and made it clear as day to me. In a previous post I mentioned that I was going for a promotion with my company that may have required my moving the family to Atlanta. I started the process by submitting my name for inclusion in August. My first interview was in mid-August with the HR Director of the company. He decided I qualified for the position and I advanced to the next round. Now, I was applying for the position of Director of Retail Sales and there were TWO of those positions available - one here in New Jersey and one in Atlanta. I made it clear that I would move if needed and several other people in the company said the same thing.

My second interview was a lunch interview with a Vice President of Sales and it went very well. I felt I made some strong points and she expressed to me that I was a good candidate for the job. I learned that the company was including outside applicants as well as internal ones which added a bit of edge to things because I had no idea what type of people would be applying. After my second interview I expressed to my family that I thought there was a 70% chance of getting the position and it would probably be to Atlanta because an outside applicant would most likely stay here in Jersey. Meanwhile, my mood was getting edgy and everytime I got an invitation to a company meeting, I thought something was going to happen. It didn't...and the wait continued.

My third interview was with the Director of Sales who was leaving the Atlanta position and coming here to Jersey to assume a new position as head of all the sales managers. I knew this guy for several years so I was relaxed and answered the questions well. It was an hour long interview and the questions were deep and heavy (Name a time when you felt the company you worked for was holding you back - what did you do and how did it turn out?)....questions like that. Tired and overwhelmed - I continued to wait it out for some word - positive or not - that would determine my life and my family's life for the next several years.

Interview number FOUR was with the President of our company. It was hard hitting and to the point. I didn't think I did well at all. The questions were tough (What will you do in your first 90 days as Director to make your team better?) and I was talking directly with the President, which made it more nerveracking and difficult. I left his office completely drained and non-confident. I told my family that there was a small chance of the promotion and forget about Atlanta. I mean, who knew? Four interviews in 6 weeks and still NOTHING!!!

I was told after meeting with the President that I would know within a week if I made it to the FINAL ROUND INTERVIEW - a roundtable interview with a panel of four executives at our office in Philadelphia. Of course, it took all week to hear anything....

Finally, on a Friday I got an e-mail that said I made the final six candidates for the two jobs and to be in Philadelphia on September 27th for my final panel interview. Now my mind was in full speed. I had a whole week to marinate this thought in my brain and my family was in complete freak mode. Am I moving to Atlanta with my wife and kids??? Will I be let down and not get any position at all?? Time seemed to stand still. The wait for Philly was tough but FIRST...I had to complete an online assessment test. Yes, after 4 interviews and a FIFTH one coming - I ALSO had to complete a 200 question online test designed by some outside company.

The test was BRUTAL. There were analogy questions (Frog:Dinasaur as Whale:?) and there were LONG division and algebra questions. I felt like I was taking the SAT's. It took me over 2 hours to complete the exam but it took my mind off WAITING so it was OK.....

FINALLY the 27th arrives and I am in a small room at the end of a conference room table and there are four of the top Marlin execs at the other end staring at me. One of them was writing down EVERYTHING I said - it was so strange! I was cracking jokes to break the tension - "Do you want me to speak slower so you get everything down on paper?" The interview lasted over an hour and I was completely and utterly WIPED after it. I was DONE. Toast. PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THERE WILL BE ANOTHER INTERVIEW!! There would not be. The President told me I would know my Friday the final virdict....

Tuesday.......Wednesday.......Thursday morning....request to meet in the Director's office...gulp. This is IT......

"We thought you were an excellent interview....." was the way it started. I knew right away I was not getting offered the positions. I sat and listened as the President of the company praised me and told me how important I was to the organization. It was actually very insighful - it showed me they were listening in my interviews because they were right on about my strengths and weaknesses. They were hiring an Atlanta candidate for the job down there and were going outside the company for the position in Jersey. HOWEVER - they created a new position for me here in Jersey - Manager of Branch Operations which would better use my skills. PERFECT!!!

The job is perfect for me - less sales and more management. I will be responsible for all of the day to day operations of my sales team. I won't get into details here but it's exciting!! The money is great and it's the biggest promotion I ever got in my working career so it's a success!

So life is a box of chocolates - I had NO IDEA what I was getting when I opened the box but the chocolate I got was the sweetest one in the box! Needless to say, my family is quite happy that I am not taking the kids to Atlanta....

So who knows what lurks around the next corner? For now - it's all good. It was a learning experience and I will grow from it. If it does not kill you, it makes you stronger!

I'm going to bed now....tomorrow is Monday and I have to get to work!!!

JB

Success Hasn't Spoiled Me Yet

The only place where money comes before success is in the dictionary.

Lately I've been taking several three mile walks with my Mom around the neighborhood for exercise purposes each week. We usually whip around the course in about 50 minutes and we get a good sweat going. I like them because it's practically the only exercise I get and Mom likes them because she sees her son is exercising. Plus she gets me alone for 50 minutes where I can't excuse myself from conversation or otherwise hang up as if we were on the phone. Naturally, these walks are where Mom asks me the "touchy" questions; the ones I would probably attempt to skirt or avoid in other settings. Outside at 9:30 at night with nobody around us and nothing but quiet houses in our surroundings, I ain't going anywhere. So all the juicy gossip gets discussed on the streets of Woodcrest after dark.

Several weeks ago, Mom asked me why I don't post more about my childhood on my website. I mean, I write about the kids all the time and about current happenings and events in our lives but I never talk about the past. Why don't I write more about my childhood? Now I know Mom and I know how she tries to get information....he he....so....Mom wants me to open up about my childhood so that she can read deep into my mind about the job she did bringing me up. Mmm hmmm.....sneaky....but interesting nonetheless. (she'll deny this but that's Mom being cute...which she is). So I said OK! Why not? Maybe it will be good to document things from yesteryear in this "journal" so that my children can read about them someday too. Good idea. I decided that, over the next few weeks, I would spend some time talking about my youth. General stuff, you know, nothing therapeutic or otherwise damaging to myself or my family.

Truth be told - there is nothing I could say that would be damaging to myself or my family. I lived a fruitful, generally happy life as a youth. My mantra was always success is more important to me than money. My Dad told me several times a day...or was it per week?...that I have to make MONEY. You need MONEY. MONEY. MONEY. MONEY. Oh yeah, and did I mention that it's good to have MONEY? I think I pissed him off more than once by firing back that I could care less about money - just give me four walls, a wife, a few smiling kids and I am happy - and THAT is what I call SUCCESS!! No wait...I almost forgot.....FOOD. LOTS OF FOOD....

I've been hungry since I was a fetus. My first memory was wondering when the placenta was going to feed me my next meal. I've always loved eating. It's pleasurable. Growing up in Middletown we would have many meals with the Pasquerellas. Patty used to look at me in amazement and would always comment on how much I was enjoying the food. Mom spent most of her free time telling me how important it was to eat right. We didn't have Twinkies or cupcakes in my house. We had carrots and celery. We didn't eat mac and cheese 3 nights a week - we ate chicken and there was ALWAYS a salad and a veggie. All my friends had Twinkies and Ding Dongs in their lunch and I was packing 4 carrot sticks and cottage cheese and my sandwich was on wheat bread. STILL to this day, mention white bread to my mother and she has to be revived with smelling salts.

Lunch was one thing but the battle that was being waged every day between Mom and Dad was a whole 'nother trip. See, Dad is not exactly skinny. He loves to eat as much as I do. Mom works out 15 hours a week and considers 3 Corn Pops to be a meal. Think Fred and Wilma, OK? So if Dad put too much Russian dressing on his salad, Mom would comment. If Dad ate two forkfulls of Rice-A-Roni too quickly, Mom would comment. If Dad ordered Moo Shoo Pork instead of Moo Shoo Tofu - Mom would comment. Now, when Mom went away....he he....

"Bye Mom! Have a good time with Nora for the weekend! Don't worry - the three of us will be FINE!!"

(car pulls away)

"OK - Who's driving to the grocery store? Got the list? OK - double check - Super Sugar Crisp, Chocolate Pop Tarts, Breyers Butter Pecan Ice Cream and HOLLANDAISE SAUCE for tonight's leftover broccoli. GOT IT!"

"NO - we are not having broccoli tonight!! It's MOO SHOO PORK night!"

So Food was paramount in my life and still is. That's why I am capitalizing it. Looking back, however, I have doubts on whether keeping me away from fattening foods was the best move. Most of you have seen me now. I am not a skinny guy. I am not fat...I'm fluffy. I'm pleasantly plump, I have a "teddy bear" physique....you know...BIG BONED....OK OK OK...I am fat...but THAT'S OK because my wife loves me the way I am, right? I've been on the seafood diet for a long time..you know - I see food and I eat it. I really consider myself to be in shape.................MY SHAPE. But I digress.....Keeping me from Twinkies may have created the urge to binge on them once I left the nest. In college, my ideal afternoon was sitting in front of the TV to watch "Dallas" re-runs whilst eating an entire tube of Pringles. YES - those Pringles - the ones my mother would rather have root canal than let me eat. I kept the Pringles brand in existence from 1985 through 1990. It was the "THREE P's" - Pringles, Pop Tarts and Peanut Butter. Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner of Champions.

All of my thinner friends ate whatever they wanted. Gary grew up on Corn Dogs down in Margate. Ate ten of 'em a week. He never gained weight after high school. Mark's mom always kept "the good stuff" in her bread cabinet - Yo Yo's and Ho Ho's and Tastycakes and all that crap. Mark never gained an ounce. Me? I ate so much of that crap from 1985 on that I should have been a house. I held my weight well. People guess my weight and tell me I'm 220 pounds. When they hear my REAL weight they always ask the same question, "WHERE DO YOU KEEP IT ALL?" I tell them the truth - I have a 12 inch penis and 4 pound testicles.

Now, as an adult, I think about food all the time. I am not into drinking or drugs. My vice is good food. I told some dinner guests last night, my ideal eating day - if health is not an issue - would be two Egg McMuffins for breakfast, a double Quarter Pounder for lunch and a few Big Mac's for dinner. MMMmmmmm. Yummy! (pause while Mom peels herself off the floor).

So that's some of the reason why I don't force my kids to eat ONLY good foods. If Elijah wants white bread - I'll give it to him. If he wants fruit snacks once in awhile - he gets them. I don't want to keep it away from them so they run to it when I'm not around. Elijah told me the other day, "Dad, when I grow up - that's when I'm going to eat vegetables, K?" When I was 4 years old I was saying things like, "Mom, when I grow up, that's when I'm going to eat Twinkies and Ju Ju B's. K?"

People remember all sorts of things from their childhood. Can you believe that I have a VIVID memory of the moment I graduated from Whopper Jr's to Whoppers? It was a summer night and Mom and Dad let me stay up for Sonny & Cher. Dad had somehow convinced Mom (too much wine?) to eat Burger King and he told me he was going out and getting me a Whopper Jr.

"No Dad. It's time. I've been thinking about this for several weeks. I'm not your little boy anymore. I use deodorant now and change my underwear every day. I am off the training wheels and last night I stole the Suzanne Summers Playboy from your room. I think I'm ready. MAKE MINE A WHOPPER!"

With tears flowing down my parent's faces, my Dad hugged me, "Son! I'm so proud of you!" Then Mom came over, "WHY!! WHY!!!!! WHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!"

"With cheese," I said emphatically.

jb

The Devil and the Number 4

Have you ever seen the Devil? Probably not...but did you ever wonder what she would look like? :-) Just kidding. Did you ever wonder what IT would look like?

Hmmm...probably red in color. Maybe some horns. Smoke coming off it's head. Long fangs. Holding a pitchfork maybe. Long tail with an arrowpoint at the end. Laughing constantly. Not the funny laugh - you know - the sinister Dr. Evil type of laugh. Yeah, that's it...perfect picture in your head, right? Scary. I mean, the Devil is representative of all evil...all that is BAD in the world. Calling someone the Devil is the ultimate insult. There is nothing positive about the word at all.

Well, I am here to tell you that the red, pointy-ear picture you all have of the devil is...wrong. It's not true at all. I know - BECAUSE I'VE SEEN IT FOR REAL!

For starters, the Devil is not red at all. It's green. It has no ears, no arrowhead tail, no smoke coming off it. Nope. Wanna know the most interesting part? The Devil is in the shape of the number 4. Just typing that number makes me cringe with fear and gets my adrenaline going. I am starting to sweat.....

No I am NOT in a cult. I don't wear clothespins on my nipples and I don't wear fake fangs and fantasize about biting young, inviting women for their blood....well....not for their blood...........but I digress. The number 4 represents EVIL in the purest form. Here's my case....

Child. Sick. Needy. Fever. Whining. Ear infection. Night night at 7:30 - about 30 minutes earlier than usual. No big deal..I mean, she's coming off an ear infection and she's been cuddling and spending a lot of energy sucking on her pacifier all day. She's tired. Plus, she's only one. It's not like she has spent a lot of time being sick, for crying out loud. So...she's in her crib snoring at 7:30. Elijah to bed at 8:00 as usual. Not sick at all - tired as usual....snoring by 8:15.

Dessert. Mmmmm.....found a new lowfat, low sugar ice cream by Breyers. Chocolate Caramel and it was half price at Super G! Niiiiccccccccee. Delicious. Put on my PJ's. Climb into bed at around 11pm as usual. Watch the news....drift off to sleep around midnight next to my sleeping wife.

Ahhhhhh.....REM sleep. Nothing like it. Through my 37 years of experience, I can safely say that my DEEPEST sleep - the most satisfying sleep of the night is two or so hours before I wake up. I mean - I am GONE - kaput - you could prod me with a hot poker and I ain't waking up. Before that time, I wake up easily. After that time, I pop up instantly. BUT DURING THAT HOURLONG DEEP SLEEP I am, as my Dad would say, a bump on a log.

Midnight. One. Two. Three. Three-fifteen. Three-thirty. Three-forty-five.

FOUR. Deep sleep....dreaming......waaaaaaaaayyyyyy gone. FOUR-FIFTEEN. deep breathing...floating high in the sky....Pam Anderson....naked....starts crying....starts with a whine then to a full blown wail..........wait........don't go - crying surrounding my head....what is happening..........?.............

Open my eyes. In my bed. Pitch black. Crying from Hannah's room....head starts pounding. Instant sinus headache. Deb sits up. I squint to try to see the time as Deb gets up to get Hannah. What are those numbers on the cable box....can't quite make them out through the sleep in my eyes....

FOUR SEVENTEEN.

I crawl under the covers and start to cry. My body starts to shake. Deb arrives with Hannah and she is wailing. I get up to get a bottle. The floor is ICE COLD and the clock says nothing but a BIG GREEN FOUR. THE DEVIL HAS COME. Ice cubes growing on my feet as I fill an 8 ounce bottle with warm milk. I have to pee. The pain is unbearable. I kick the gate at the kitchen entrance on my way up, breaking my big toe completely off my foot and sending the toe smashing into the front door. I can't find it in the dark. Satan's work. On my way up the stairs, I limp and nearly slip on the tears that are flowing from my sleep-encrusted eyes. I fall forward at the bedside delivering the fix to Deb who quiets the entire universe with a slight pop as the nipple enters Hannah's mouth. I pee for 2 minutes nonstop but dribble on the toilet seat because I thought I was done after 1 minute. I skate on the ice that blankets my feet back to the bed and crawl in.

FOUR TWENTY-TWO

I am laying in my bed staring at the ceiling with a headache that feels like Regis Philbin is talking with NO filter on my eardrum. Hannah is asleep...soundly...snoring like a baby. I am reading scripture frantically trying to find the prayer that begs God to let you go back to sleep. I don't find it.

Eventually, I DO get to sleep but it's like kissing your sister. A powernap. Uggh. Another one of my least favorite words....NAP. I got up at 4 and then I took a freaking NAP.

My day is shot. Head pounding all day. Fifteen Advil. Just kidding. Fourteen Advil. Dragging my feet and nine toes all day. Brutal.

It takes three or four weeks to recover from that. Therapy is an option but an expensive one. I prefer to use the NEXT evening as a make-up one. I figure a good night's sleep the next night and I can forgive the Devil for visiting me and we can be happy again.

So the next night (last night) I cuddle into bed and drift off to sleep after the news.....one...two...three...........rumble.....the Phillies are about to win the World Series....NO!!! THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!!!!! Not again....eyes open...clock - WHERE ARE YOU - rub my eyes....green numbers.....I see a 10 and I see a ":" before the 10...what's that first number....it get's ice cold in the room as Deb rises to get the bottle....icicles are coming down from the ceiling....suddenly my toe stump is throbbing.....I make out that first number finally...

FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR. FOUR.

Satan has returned. Where's my Advil?

jb

The Difference Between Men and Boys....

The response to my last post regarding change was overwhelming. Thank you to all who responded - I don't deserve your accolades. I merely take the time to put on paper (virtual paper, anyway) what everyone is thinking about in their own lives. Truth is, it's easier to express yourself in writing. For me, it's a combination of therapy and record keeping. It's a document of my life. Without this blog, I would remember nothing. Those who know me well are aware of my lousy memory. Thank goodness for this medium!!! Gotta love computers.

Had a stuttering moment with Elijah last week. He came home from camp and told Deb that he could "only feel one of my tensticles." Deb told him that I would take a look that night in the bath. Now, I am overly sensitive to this subject because I was born with a double hernia and had it corrected when I was just about Elijah's age. So...that night in the bath Elijah reminded me, "Daddy, I can only feel one of my tensticles." So I asked him to stand up and I would check them for him. He did and I found 'em both. I told him, "You have two! Perfect!! Everything is there Elijah - there's no need to worry."

"But they are so small, Daddy. So is my penis. Are they going to get bigger when I grow up?"

"Um....yes! Everything gets bigger when you grow up. Your hands, feet, legs, everything."

pause

"Can I feel YOURS Daddy?"

"HOW ABOUT THOSE PHILLIES, HUH? Man, I thought the season was over there for a few days and now they are playing well again....um....and how about this weather we are having - perfect for throwing your balls...I mean...throwing the ball around outside...um...wow and your sister can wash herself now and wow - how about that great dinner Mommy made today..."

One for the books.

Kids will always say things that make you laugh - especially when they are figuring out their world. Other times they get serious and really ask tough questions. That night, after the tensticle bath, I was laying in bed with Elijah. We had finished reading a few books and were just talking and he asked me about going to Disney World in California. I thought that was strange because I didn't even know he knew what California was. Then he asked me about Disney World in Florida. We went there when he was two. He said, "Remember we saw Poco there and then Poco came to my house?" Poco is my friend Kenny's dog. We saw them when we went to Disney and they visited us last month here. I said I remembered and he asked where Poco lives now and I told him Maryland. "That's where Aunt Amy lives!!" I was shocked! He knows what STATES his relatives live in? Then, for some reason, he asked me where Zeide Abe lives. Zeide Abe died earlier this year. I said, "Well, Zeide Abe used to live in Florida but he died this year."

"Where does he live now?"

"Well, he lives in heaven now," as I pointed to the sky.

Elijah looked a bit confused and asked me if Zeide Abe was shot. I said he wasn't shot, that he was just very old and had a disease and he died from that."

I think he thought that people only die when they get shot. Last week, when visiting Buba at the Geriatric Home, we saw a woman who was locked in a smile, starting at the ceiling with her finger pointing up. She was locked in that position and would not move. It was creepy but not out of place in the home. Elijah had seen this woman and had pointed out to us that she was "frozen." It freaked him out.

After asking about Zeide Abe, he said, "Daddy, remember in the Shabbat House (he calls the Geriatric Home the Shabbat House) we saw that lady who was frozen? Was she shot?"

"No," I explained. "She is just veeerrry old and sick."

"All the other people at the Shabbat House are old and they are not frozen," he said.

So I explained, as best as I could, about getting old and sometimes people get sick. He said that Buba was walking at my wedding and now she's not; was she sick? So I explained that too.

It was an incredible conversation and I am sure he was thinking about that a lot. Elijah is in a unique situation because of Buba being in the home. He sees all of these elderly people in all sorts of conditions and he's only 4 1/2 years old. Most of them are lucid and talk to him and he entertains them. Some of them are not so nice and some are dilusional and, well, frozen.

One thing's for sure...Elijah has developed a very soft spot for the elderly and I hope it stays with him forever.

jb

I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed. ~George Carlin

When I was growing up, I was one of those "techies" that would laugh at the expense of my parents when their VCR clock was blinking 12:00. When computers started to become mainstream in the 1990's, my parents were still getting used to the typewriter. I always embraced technology in all forms. I loved it when the cable company switched from that wired up clicker to a wireless remote control. I loved it when beta-max's went bye-bye. Everytime Intel introduced a new computer chip I would buy a new computer. I LOVED change. Therein lies the irony of this post....

The truth is that I despise change. I really do. Computers and technology and all that - yeah - I embrace it. Maybe it's just the kind of change that really affects my life directly.

Change in MY life, I have recently discovered, is not welcome. I don't know why. The most confusing thing about that fact is that there is change occurring in virtually EVERY aspect of my life now...

Elijah is a little man now. He's asking a TON of questions like, "Mommy, why are we human? How come we are not whales or elephants?" "What planet do we live on?" Stuff like that. He's more responsive to things in his own life, like cleaning up or helping out around the house. Although he's not eating much better than before, he acknowledges that, "when I'm a grown up, I will eat vegetables. I'm a kid now." Saturday night I was not feeling well. I had a bad headache and I was tired. We actually went to bed around 8:30. We were laying in bed and Elijah took my hand and looked me in the eye and said, "I'm sorry you don't feel good Daddy." That's the kind of stuff you can't hope to hear because you just don't know how that feels until it happens.

Hannah is communicating by speech now. She says words like pancake (when she's hungry), baba (for bottle when she's thirsty), patty (when she wants to play pattycake) and oopa (when she wants to be held). She's not a baby anymore. What happened?

I don't want to sound like a father who does not want his kids to grow up. All these changes are exciting and wonderful but I just don't feel 100% comfortable with them growing up yet.

I am interviewing for a major promotion here at work. There is about a 75% chance that I am going to get promoted by month's end. There is about a 30% chance that that promotion will require a move to Atlanta, GA. It's just a 30% chance but do you think I've slept normally in the last few weeks? Not a chance. Deb is completely behind the move. It would be a two year commitment and then the company would have a position for me here to move back to if I chose to. So, actually, when I do the math...75% chance of getting promoted...30% IF I get promoted of moving to Atlanta....so the chances are slim, right? Whatever. All I know is that I love my house the way it is...I love the neighborhood and some of our best friends in the world just moved BACK to this area after 3 years in Boston. My parents live 8 houses away from their grandchildren. And I may have to say, "See ya in 2 years." Change.

I think if I learn to adjust my inner "Change-O-Meter" to read, "OK with that" more than, "What are you, nuts?" that I would be able to sleep better and be able to see the big picture more clearly. I need to do that because I am going to get an ulcer if I don't. Change is too stressful to embrace and too stressful to ignore. There is a famous quote that makes me laugh and freeze up at the same time:

"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory."

Anyway....I am entering an important time in my life and career over the next two weeks so I better be prepared to accept whatever happens. Growth is the only evidence of life.

jb

Raindrops Keep Falling On My........house
 
It was a day like I have never seen in my 37 years of life.  Actually, I don't know one other person who had ever seen a day like this one.  In fact, I would guess that the only person in history who had ever lived through a day like this was named Noah.  Yes...that Noah.  The one with the boat.  The day was last Monday the 12th.  It began raining around 7:30am and didn't stop downpouring until after 8:00 at night.  DOWNPOURING.  Constant, loud, pelting rain for 12+ hours.  Everyone was amazed that it could rain that much.
 
I have a finished basement.  Less than a year ago, the previous owners of our house had completed the job with new carpets and paint on the paneling.  There is a drop ceiling and everything.  I mean, it is a finished basement complete with L-shaped leather couch, furniture, cable and all the kid's toys.  We also store a ton of stuff down there.  It is my favorite room in the whole house.  In fact, it's the main reason why I fell in love with the house in the first place back in October 2003.  I would finally get a basement.
 
Deb had gone down there around 6:30 to check on it with all the water outside.  We never had water down there but it was a good idea to check.  Dry as a bone.  Nice!  Nary a drop.  I arrived home around 7 and we had a nice dinner and the kids went to bed around 8 as usual.  I was watching the Baseball Homerun Derby on TV around 9:45 when I decided to go up and get ready for bed.  As I passed the basement door, I heard a strange noise.  It sounded like a toy that was left on.  I thought maybe Deb left the TV on when she went down there earlier.  I put the light on at the top of the stairs and looked down....
 
I have never, thank God, lost anyone tragically in my immediate family.  My cat died in 1999 but, well, that was my cat.  They are not supposed to live to 19 years old.  Basements are supposed to live forever.  They hold your memories and never tell a soul.  I lived in my parent's house with a finished basement until I was 24 and, let me tell you, if those basement walls could talk then I would be on Jerry Springer.
 
I walked down the stairs to my basement and the final step onto the basement floor was like stepping into the kiddie pool at the swimclub.  Water above my toes.  Covered the floor of the room.  Edge to edge.  It was getting higher as I stood there. 
 
Panic. 
 
My first thought was to get the electrical stuff out of the way.  The dehumidifier was 2 inches in water.  I was going to run to it but it was like sloshing through ab obstacle course with water in it.  I picked it up and unplugged it.  All the water was draining from it as I put it on a table.  What next?  I scanned the floor.  HOW LUCKY!  There were no books on the floor but the bottom shelf of the bookshelf was touching the waterline.  Took those books out.  Then I saw the toy in the middle of the floor that had caught my attention from the top of the stairs.  It was a Blues Clues toy that was screaming, having shorted out in the pool.  Toys can't swim.
 
15 minutes later and the water was above my ankles.  Six inches in spots.  I had moved the wooden furniture from the floor into the garage and Deb dried it.  The couch, however, could not be moved.  The rain had stopped...but I had a nightmare on my hands.
 
I was depressed.  I knew that a plummer was on the way but it took him 2 hours to get there on this busy evening.  I sat on the couch with my head in my hands and I was depressed.  I felt an actual sense of loss.  It felt as though something had died suddenly and I could not control those emotions.  My basement was in an accident and was severely injured...
 
The next day was horrible.  The plummer pumped 2,000 gallons of water out of my basement.  He left after that four hour job and I remained pulling up carpet and padding, rolling it up with duct tape and hauling it out, dripping, to the curb for the trash man.  I used so much duct tape rolling up the carpet - I realized what Tony Soprano must feel like. 
 
By nightfall my hands were blistered from the carpet and the basement floor was glistening with what was left of the dampness.  I used a borrowed wet-vac to clear any puddles and borrowed 4 fans that I rotated around the room to finish the drying process.  By 8pm I was done with everything I could do to insure there would be no mold or mildew problem down there.  I was POOPED.
 
The phone rings.  My sister is on vacation in Alaska with her husband.  It's HER home number on the caller ID.  Before I answer I know exactly what happened.  Yup.  Mom went to feed her cats.  The food and litter box are in the basement.  I got there 15 minutes later with the wet-vac.  300 gallons of water later I was loading the wet-vac back into my car and driving home.
 
Sleep.
 
I've always considered myself lucky.  Things always seem to go my way.  I believe that's karma.  I believe good things happen to good people; positive people.  Why was it that I had ALL my valuables packed in Rubbermaid containers in my basement?  Could I have known?  7 large sized Rubbermaid containers stuffed with my baseball card collection and other sports memorabilia items like 1970's programs and signed baseballs.  Floating.....but safe inside.  All the kids toys - same thing.  On tables or somehow propped up against other things.  No wet stuffed animals.  No wet books.  Lucky lucky lucky.
 
Still depressed, I turned on the news and within 15 minutes I was not depressed any longer.  Other people - in MY township - lost everything.  Pictures, momentos, important papers, collectibles, memoirs....HOUSES....gone.  If I was depressed...what were they?
 
Now it's Tuesday and it's been a week since the rain.  The couches have dried out well and I've been successful in avoiding mildew and mold.  The fans are off.  My basement looks like a half-finished storage shed filled with boxes, Rubbermaids, and some furniture.  There is carpet tack all around the perimeter of the room and I go down there several times a day to check on it.  I dunno...I guess I have accepted that it's not finished anymore but there is still a sadness down there. 
 
We plan on putting carpet down there again soon after taking a few small measures to insure that we are safer from water than we were before. 
 
Tuesday afternoon while I was cleaning the basement, Elijah came home from camp and ran downstairs.  I was practically in tears when I saw him and he practically ignored the fact that it was wet and the carpet was gone.  He just ran over and gave me a hug and asked me to play with him.  He grabbed the waterlogged Blues Clues toy and handed it to me.  I gave him a hug and told him he was a gift from God.
 
jb
 
 
 

There Ain't No Cure for the Summertime Blues...(unless you have kids)

June was horrible. What a crappy month. Ever notice that when you need something so bad, it becomes harder to capture? Why is that? I think it's God's way of saying "nothing comes easy - EVER." Whatever. It's one of those things. So much of my business at work is church related (I know - Jewish guy financing church organs) and churches take the summers off from purchasing items. They get busy with daycamp and things and my business goes in the pooper. Happens every year. July is usually a good bounceback month so I am expecting big things this month.

When things are bad at work and you come home depressed it's good to have kids. Kids could care less about work. All they know is that Daddy is coming home and they are happy. Hannah's first word was "Elijah" but the only word she uses these days is "daddy." She says it in the most beautiful, sweet voice I have ever heard. "Daddy daddy daddy daddy." When I walk in the house from the garage after work she is in the kitchen eating dinner and she hears me and her hands start flapping and she starts giggling. Then she hears me and it's "DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY." "Hannah, how was your day today?" "DADDY DADDY DADDY." "Did you play with the other children?" "DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY." "Did you eat a good lunch?" "DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY." "You know, I had a REALLY bad day at work and I wasn't happy today." "DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY!" and everything is good again.....

The other day at my mom's for dinner, we are all sitting around the table eating my Aunt's famous meatloaf. Elijah does not touch the stuff - sticking to his usual chicken nuggets. Deb offers him meatloaf and he says, "No thanks. Meatloaf sucks." That's my boy.

One thing about Deb taking the kids everyday now is that I don't get to ride with them in the morning anymore. It's better for me for work because I get there earlier and leave later but I miss my Breakfast With the Beatles at 7am with Elijah. Now he's watching Rescue Heroes at 7am with Mommy and I am by myself singing "Maxwells Silver Hammer."

Elijah started camp this week though and he LOVES IT. Bus 37 is the chant as he gets on and he sits next to Molly every day. So far in THREE days, he's done karate, nature, music, hockey, science, swimming lessons (twice per day), arts and crafts, soccer, Little Gym and, of course, LUNCH. We knew lunch would be a problem because it takes him 2 hours to eat it. He's been eating peanut butter on white bread because he does not like camp's jelly. He didn't eat pizza bagels yesterday because they are not like HIS pizza bagels. So...he had peanut butter on white bread. "THREE bites daddy. Then I was done." I think he's anorexic.

This is Deb's favorite time of the year - JULY 4th. We are going to the fireworks Phillies game tonight with my sister. Elijah won't go to fireworks because the "noise bodders me." "You can cover your ears and not hear it, Elijah." "NO - I don't like fireworks - they're scary." So we are taking sister.

OH YEAH - those pictures I promised....don't have 'em yet. I keep forgetting to post them from home!!! I'll try to remember this weekend. ANYWAY - back to work to make it a better month. Until next time I remain...

dad

Growing Up and Pubic Hair

Two things that go together like soup and sandwich.

Elijah is growing up and the realization of two things this week bring that to reality for me. First, he is starting camp in 10 days and will be taking a yellow bus every day to Medford. Secondly, is will be attending pre-kindergarten in the fall at the JCC. He's going to be learning how to read and simple addition and...well...it's SCHOOL! Crazy!

This morning Elijah took a shower with me and was staring at my, ahem, my "stuff" and asked, "Daddy, why do you have HAIR down THERE? I don't have any hair THERE, Daddy." So I responded what every dad would respond to that question. "It's the 100 Aker Wood down there, Sweetie, and Winnie the Pooh and Tigger live there."

After a 10 second panic attack, he realized I am kidding. "DADDYYYYYYYY - Winnie the Pooh does not live on your PENIS!"

So, of course, right on queue, I start singing, "OHHHHH theeeeee wonderful thing about Tiggers...is Tiggers are wonderful things...."

It's fun to be a Dad.

The other day, Elijah told me he wanted to be a teenager. I asked him why and he said, "so I can reach the light switch."

Why is it raining so damn much? Every day this week - DOWNPOURS. Not a drizzle, not a little sunshower. NOOOO...95 degrees and POURING. Makes me so happy. Now I have to leave here and go to the hospital because my Buba is in there. She went in yesterday with low blood pressure. Another day in the life of a 98 year old. She's stable but I am going over to give her a kiss and let her tell me how wonderful I am. You need that now and again. She'll be going back to her community center tomorrow, good as new. She's amazing. I was watching Nancy Reagan last week during the Reagan funeral, noticing how she's aged and I was thinking that my Buba could be NANCY REAGAN'S MOTHER. That's how old Buba is. Insane.

In Hannah news...she's got a temper now. Rub her the wrong way and she GOES OFF. NO - I am serious....rub her the wrong way and she'll sock you in the face and growl until you back off. She's MUFASA the toddler. No...before you all attack me....she's not bad. She's gonna be the kind of girl you just don't mess with. Gotta have it HER way. Like her mama. That's OK with me cause its better than being a softie like me.

I am off most of the week next week from work and need the break but it's the WORST month I've ever had as far as business goes so if you have any business....SEND IT TO ME!!! ;-)

Pictures next. Good ones.

JB

ELIJAH IS FAMOUS!!!

He's in the paper for the first time!

I Can't!

I remember when I was growing up and my father used to tell me not to say certain words because they were not really words. Like AINT. Aint isn't a word. Well, it wasn't at the time. It is now - it's in the dictionary! Anyway - dad used to correct my vacabulary all the time. I find myself doing the same thing with Elijah. His favorite word these days is 'can't'. He says, "I can't do it" all the time. So Deb and I tell him that 'can't' is not a word and he has to stop using it.

This has been going on for a couple of weeks now. In the morning when we are getting dressed, he says he can't get dressed by himself, that he can't do it. We tell him yes he can and we keep on him until he does it. Of course, he can do it. He just dosen't feel like it.

So that brings us to this morning. I was in the shower and Elijah was going through his morning routine, saying he can't get dressed by himself and whining that he needs help. He's got this shirt on that Uncle Richard gave him that has The Incredibles on it (a movie coming out later this year). Elijah wore the shirt to sleep on Sunday, all day Monday and then to sleep on Monday night. IT'S DIRTY. He won't take it off. He wants to keep wearing it. So Deb says, "Elijah, you can't wear it again." What does he say back? You guessed it! "Mom, don't say can't. It's not a word."

Try explaining THAT to a 4 year old.

What a day we had on Sunday. FANTASTIC DAY!! It was Hannah and Ariana's first birthday party at our house and we had 50 people and it was hot and humid and wonderful. We rented a moonbounce for the backyard and the kids were hopping around in there. I was melting at the BBQ and the food was delicious. Everyone said it was a great party and we all had a blast. It was great tossing the Nerf around the yard and playing Monkey in the Middle with the kids. Reminds me of 1975 when our parents did the same thing with us. Everyone was too generous with their gifts, of course, and Hannah already has a backlog of toys to open up. Some we will save for a month or two until she is bored of her other ones. Uggh. Lemme tell you, with all these toys in our house, someday we are going to make a mint at a garage sale!

I will post pictures of the BBQ here in the next few days. Otherwise, that's about it!! The summer is coming and Hannah will be walking soon!!

JB

A New Look and the Everchanging World

It's becoming more difficult to take the time to post here because of my ever busy life but it's so important now with Elijah and Hannah progressing so much every day. My memory lasts about 15 minutes so I really have to document everything, which is the real reason why I started this Blog in the first place.

The new look of the site may be temporary - let me know what you think. I am also adding a new comments button at the bottom so you can give me feedback on everything. I removed the Links section at the left because nobody was every clicking on them. The Jawdy Goodies Site with all the pics is still up but not accessible at this time. I will post pics here in Jawdy's Basement going forward.

It's hot as crap outside.

Hannah is mobile like the Energizer Bunny. She is ALL OVER THE PLACE. Stairs too. Yep..she's climbing them. That changes everything. Gates. Everywhere. She's going to be ONE on Friday. I just cannot believe that it's been a year already. She's showing us one finger when we ask how old she's gonna be. She's also eating food that we eat. Baby food is going to be history soon. Last night she enjoyed chicken with asparagus and some watermelon and strawberries for dessert. Me? I ate cereal. SHE ATE MY DINNER.

Elijah is going to bed now with no pullups. It's a challenge as he learns. I am waking him up around 11 every night and taking him to the potty. After that, he's on his own. Last night he didn't quite make it BUT he woke up immediately after he wet the bed and called for us. He's getting CLOSE and we have to be patient. I have a feeling Hannah will be easier with this because girls usually are.

This weekend we are going to Dice and Scottie's open house on Saturday and have a date at night. Just the two of us!! We are going to go to PF Changs restaurant and catch a movie. It's rate that we get a date so it's exciting!!

Anyway - gotta go take Eli to the potty!! More later...

JB

Pics!

OK! As promised - two new pics of the kids!! All together now...awwwwwwwww!!!

Eli and Hannah April 2004

Hannah April 2004

Don't Blink......part 2

I cannot believe it's been over 5 weeks since my last post. I suck! I have been so involved with so many things and it's been hard to pick just one thing to write about! So...I decided to give this update on what's happening and PROMISE to post pictures here in the next few days.

Our kitchen is DONE. Looks great! We hosted a surprise birthday party for Aunt Helene on the day after the kitchen was done and it won rave reviews! So did Aunt Helene for that matter! The whole family was over and Aunt Helene was moved by everyone and we all had a fantastic time.

Aunt Toby has been LOVING her stay here. We celebrated her birthday last weekend at Buca de Beppo and she gave a speech and said it was the best moment of her life. I believe her. It's been wonderful having her here and I wish she did not ever have to leave. The kids LOVE her so much. Sadly, she is leaving next Wednesday and I get to drive her to the airport. It will be a sad day....

Elijah is growing up so fast it's mind boggling. He just learned to write the letter 'A' last week! Deb has been working with him at night in learning how to draw and he loves it. He asks her how to draw things and then tries to do it. It's adorable. His language skills most amaze us. Not necessarily the vocabulary, but the conjugation of verbs and his use of connecting words like 'actually.'

"Elijah, do you want pizza bagels for dinner?"

"Yes. No!! Actually, I want chicken nuggets."

I find it amazing how a young kid learns to conjugate verbs without studying the subject. Sentences like, "I already did that," or "I went there three times today," are tough sentences! He is learning at an incredible pace. The whole Beatles thing that I spoke about in a previous post, is unreal. He hears a single note and yells out the song title. He knows the words, he even knows who the lead singer Beatle is on some songs. "Daddy, George sings this one!" Right now, his favorite songs are "Happy Birthday (the Beatles version)", "Bungalow Bill", "Here Comes the Sun", and "Blackbird." He brushes his teeth all by himself every night and takes more showers than baths. He loves the shower. He is very protective of Hannah and even more PROUD of her. See this exchange he had with a 7 year old kid at the park last week...

"Hi - what's your name? Hi Adam, I am here at the park with my little sister. Do you wanna meet her? Come on! Let's go - follow me - she's over there on the swing with Mommy. COME ON!!"

The kid and his grandmother followed and ended up talking to Deb for a bit. Elijah introduced Hannah to them and said how cute she was. It was adorable.

Hannah news? She's crawling! All over the place. Her first word is probably going to be 'Elijah' which is amazing but she's almost saying it! Her first birthday is coming up on May 14th and I just cannot believe it's been a year since the Duece Dauily was last published.

What else? In the proud brother department, my lil sisssssster will be graduating with a sign language degree next month and we are going to celebrate that! No more school!! NOW HAVE BABIES! he he.

So that's it in a nutshell. So many moments go undocumented because they are here and gone...I wish I could carry my computer with me everywhere and document everything....in any case....life is good now and, even though we are housepoor because of the darn kitchen!!

Pictures are coming!!!

Don't Blink

Spring is coming...there's flowers blooming...the grass is starting to come up...and my children are older. Really. Elijah especially. He's learning 140 things a day. The part that really gets me is the vocabulary. He'll pull words out that even I have not used in years. We had a funny situation the other night. We were finishing dinner and he was very tired. He was being fresh to us and, when asked to stay at the table until dinner was over, he hit Deb on the arm. "I'M NOT STAYING AT THE TABLE!" So Deb carries him to the stairs for a 5 minute time-out and he's kicking and screaming the whole time. After the time-out was done, he finished his dinner and acted like nothing happened. We got his PJ's on and I settled in bed with him as I do every night. I usually stay with him for about 15 minutes, playing with his toys or reading books and then I leave and he goes to sleep. Well as soon as we got in his bed, he stops what he's doing and says he has to ask me a question...

"Daddy - I have to do something."

"Do you have to go potty?"

"No - I want to apologize to Mommy."

APOLOGIZE?? My son knows the word apologize?? It must have been bothering him since dinner and even though he never said anything, he was obviously thinking about it and feeling bad. So he gets out of bed and walks into our room where Deb was laying with Hannah on our bed.

"Mommy - I apologize because I hit you."

Deb was choked up because it was such a sweet sounding apology. She was shocked that he used that word too and asked him...

"That's a new word Elijah!"

"I'm learning, Mommy!"

Incredible. He IS learning. We are at the stage where everything he sees or hears, he remembers. Deb once called me a moron and now whenever she yells about anything to anybody, Elijah asks if the person is a moron. "Mommy - is she a MORON?"

Our kitchen is getting pummelled tomorrow morning. 3 weeks til a new kitchen! I will post the before and after pictures here on the site.

Aunt Toby is here!! For the first time in 3 years, she is here with us. It's awesome and I will write about her visit here soon. She just got here on Wednesday and Aunt Rockie came with her too. It's going to be a good month with family!!

Have a great weekend everyone! My weekend starts in 30 minutes.....

dad

White Shoes

My grandpa Irving passed away in 1992. He was 92 years old and lived in Florida. He had been living down there for quite a few years so I didn't get to spend a whole lot of time with him in his later years. Growing up in Central Jersey, he lived in Brooklyn so I have great memories of spending time in the apartment on holidays, etc. He was my last grandpa so it was sad when he died and I think about him often. One of the memories that always comes to mind is the white shoes. Grandpa Irving always wore those patent leather white shoes. He wore them in the morning, noon and night. Typical grandpa in Florida. White shoes, polyester patterned pants and belt with the buckle pulled to the side. Beautiful.

I bring this up because we lost another pair of white shoes last week. Deb's grandfather, Zeide Abe, passed away after several weeks in the hospital at the age of 80. Too early. He was a good man whom I got to know over the last 8 years. His life had not been the same since his wife, Bobe Ana, passed away in April, 2001. He's probably happier now. I was grateful to have had a grandfather again, even if it was just for a few years. Deb spent the week in Florida with Hannah. I went down for 24 hours to pay my respects. I came back and Elijah and I spent a few days alone together.

When I told Elijah that Mommy went to Florida to see Zeide Abe because he was sick, Elijah asked, "Is he going to get dead?" I said I didn't know. The next morning, he passed away. I wonder if Elijah understands. When Deb got back on Saturday from Florida, Elijah said he wished he could have gone too.

I never knew my great-grandfather. I think it's neat that Elijah got to know one of his. Zeide Abe always said that Elijah was going to be President of the United States. "El Presidente" he called him.

All of this makes me think of my Grandmother. Buba Pearl is 98 years old. She is lucid, she is in good health and she lives in the a Jewish home here in Cherry Hill. Imagine if Zeide Abe had lived to 98! Elijah would be 22 years old!! Hannah would be 19!

I will always remember Zeide Abe. I am honored to have known him. I know Bobe Ana is up there ironing his underwear again! (she really did that!)

Looking Through a Glass Onion

This is the worst winter weather I have ever experienced! Every day brings more threats of ice and snow and temperatures in the teens and twenties. It's horrible! Right now, it's raining slush and it's totally gross out. Three weeks until I hear the best three words in the English language: "pitchers and catchers." Spring Training begins this month and that means BASEBALL season is just around the corner. Next to Hanukkah, Opening Day is my favorite day of the year. It means spring and hot dogs and BASEBALL. Ahhhh.... BUT that is still weeks away. For now, I need to find other little pleasures to keep me happy.

One of those pleasures is my new toy. I got an iPod. This little device fits in my shirt pocket and it's hard drive will hold ALL 900 of my CD's. I still can't grasp that fact. It's got a 40gb hard drive and I am "ripping" all of my CD's to Mp3 so I can import them to the iPod. I already have around 1,500 songs on it and it's like a wet dream. I go into the car and hit Shuffle and get the ULTIMATE mix! I am one of those guys that spent half their childhood making mixed tapes. How can you top this? No more choosing which songs make it and which don't! THEY ALL DO! Needless to say, Deb is none too happy with my new joy because she is...well...she's jealous of the thing. I told her that the iPod has a volume control and she......ah never mind. JUST KIDDING HUDDY!!

Anyways, I had a misty moment on Tuesday morning. I was driving Elijah and Hannah to Melissa's house for daycare and put the radio on. Elijah likes to listen to his music but he had a liking for Hello, Goodbye by the Beatles. So I taught him Yellow Submarine, She Loves You and All You Need is Love. Being a huge Beatles fan myself, it was fun teaching him those songs because that's how I began my love of music. I heard the Beatles and it was it for me. Now I knew that one of the local radio stations had a morning show called Breakfast With the Beatles. I was scanning the radio stations looking for the show. I stopped on 102.9 WMGK and they were playing "Glass Onion", a track of the classic Beatles White album. Well, before I could even speak, Elijah YELLS out from the back seat, "YOU FOUND IT DADDY! It's Breakfast With the Beatles!!!!" WHAT? He does NOT know Glass Onion! Glass Onion??? I was flabbergasted. Did he recognize the singing?? the SOUND??? How did he know this was the Beatles? I remembered the first time I heard the Beatles and then it hit me. Elijah is going to have the same respect and love for music that I do. I got a little mushy! Now we listen to Breakfast With the Beatles every morning on our way to Melissa's. This morning he heard "All You Need is Love" for the first time! I've been singing it to him for weeks. Very cool.

Our kitchen is getting redone. We put our order in for the cabinets and things are underway. The entire kitchen is getting remodeled. We have to move the dishwasher and sink too. It's everything. We are going to pick out the granite countertop tomorrow at the granite yard. They say the entire kitchen will be done by April 3rd. We will be kitchen-less for 6-7 weeks! Can you say TAKEOUT?

Hannah is clapping her hands now. We sing the "Clap Your Hands Hannah" song and she goes to work! It's adorable and she loves it. She also blows kisses. She is so freaking cute that I can't stop squeezing her. She's like a zit that almost pops every time I hug her. (collective "EW! that's no way to talk about your daughter!") Whatever. She's awesome.

So what's up with you?

Sun, Fun and the Persuit of a FREAKING AIRPLANE!

I am in recovery. It's been 3 days since we returned from our vacation in Mexico and I am just not quite 'there' yet. Now, we had this thing setup perfectly....fly out of Cancun at 1pm Sunday and land in Philly around 6pm local time. We should clear customs and walk in the house by around 8pm Sunday, leaving some time to unwind, put the kids to bed and get ready for the return to work in the coming week. Sounds like a plan?

Did you know that the Cancun airport is like a big warehouse with a few doors on it? Much like airports here in the states, it is under construction. There are 7 snack bar /restaurants, 3 news shops, 5 duty free shops, 11 bathrooms (with 25 total stalls), 16 of the lightbulbs are OUT in the ceiling and 196 tiles missing from one of the concourse walkways. I know this because I counted. I had THAT MUCH TIME.

We got to the glorious Cancun airport on time for our 1pm flight. By 11:30am we were running around waiting for the announcement to board our plane to Philly. It was the four of us along with Deb's sister Melissa's family (husband Brian and 3 kids), and Deb's parents. 6 adults and 5 kids.

1:00pm - the announcement. There will be a slight delay due to a mechanical problem with the plane (coming in from Orlando). OK, no big deal - there are delays all the time. More running around.

2:00pm - scratching our heads...another announcement...our plane has not yet left Orlando. It would be at least 3 hours until we board our flight home. THREE HOURS! OK...break out the carry-ons and take the toys out for the kids.

Hmmm...now our gate is being used for OTHER flights...it's approaching 4pm...UPDATE PLEASE!!!

OK - people we are going to give you $15 for food in the airport restaurant. That's great considering we were walking back to our seats having just ate at BURGER KING.

More toys. A little complaining from the kiddies. Manageable but annoying as hell.

6:00pm...Announcement...the flight will be ARRIVING in Mexico by NINE and we should be taking off for Philly by 10pm.

Gulp. Panic. The 6 adults and 5 kids I mentioned earlier? Nope. Now it's 11 kids. Crying and complaining and yelling at eachother. We were a sitcom. I was waiting for Ashton Kutcher to walk out from the missing tiles and announce that we had been Punk'd.

THANK GOODNESS - a nice little girl from our flight pulls out a portable DVD player. Ahhhh....BLISS. That took up a few hours. I wanted to hug her mother but she was butt ugly.

10:00pm...announcement..."The plane is here!"...applause...I saw Herve Velechez saying to Ricardo Montalban, "De PLANE...De PLANE!!!" I didn't care at that point, I just wanted to get the hell off of Fantasy Island.

So right as we are about to board..."Daddy - I have to go POTTY." No you don't. Hold it in for 4 hours.

We touched down in Philly around 2:30am. Our limo drove through a snowstorm and we walked in to our house just after 4am.

I decided that from that day forward I would wish a different fate on ALL my enemies. No longer would I wish their testicles be boiled. No longer would I dream that their nipples be connected to an Amtrak train travelling at 100 MPH. Nope. No more. From now on, I wish on my worst enemies that they travel through customs with 4 kids under the age of 5 at 3:00 in the morning in a snowstorm in -142 degree weather with no jacket. Now THAT is SUFFERING!

It's taken until now to recover. The kids are still a little behind but we will be OK. We survived.

Mexico was FANTASTIC, however. The weather was wonderful, the Carribean was perfect and the shopping was great. Amy's wedding was romantic and beautiful and I got some great pics and video. It was a great vacation until that last day.

I will post some pics up at the Goodies Site in the next few days.

Congrats to Aaron and Robin Greenberg who had their second baby yesterday!

Until next time...