Abuela

Wow. Almost a month between posts! I've not been ignoring you - I just cannot believe how time has flown this month!! Tomorrow, at this time, Deb and the girls will be on the plane to New Jersey. I can't believe it's time already!!

Deb will be in New Jersey for nearly a week before Elijah and I go there. Amy's shower is Saturday so she will get to be there for that. She's also going to meet MICK before me!!! Unfortunately, it looks like Mick won't be released home before our trip there, which means the kids will not get to meet him. That sucks. However, he is doing progressively better and will probably be home shortly after we depart.

Elijah and I get to NJ on the afternoon of the 26th. Friday, the 27th is my one day to see everyone before services on Friday night for Lauren's Bat-Mitzvah. Saturday is the event and then Sunday afternoon we are leaving with The Turers for a week at Disney World!! FINALLY a vacation!! I can't want for Hannah to see Disney for the first time. Elijah was there when he was two and, although he remembers a lot, he was sleeping in his stroller for much of it. This trip is going to be very special!

Mom was here for nine days and it was wonderful. She took care of the kids, did the laundry, made dinner every night and slept between Elijah and Hannah every night in a queen sized bed. The two of them had trouble falling asleep on the first night after she left. Everytime the kids spend time with Abuela, Hannah tries new foods. Last week she tried avocado, cooked beets, eggplant, and kiwi fruit. Loved them all. I can't wait to buy her more kiwi. She's cuter than EVER these days with her hair up.

Elijah is gearing up for his big day this Saturday!!! He is testing for a belt promotion at his Karate school. The test is at 9am and he's been practicing for it. Deb and the girls will be in NJ for the big event but it will be BOYS DAY and we will celebrate afterwards! He's been practicing outside lately. The weather has been great and the mountains have snowcaps now so it makes for a cool makeshift dojo.

Sadie. Oh my little Sadie. Mom had a good time bathing her in the sink all week. She's really getting bigger and her personality is really coming out now. She is going to be ONE on November 11th! She's giving up on the baby food now and eats whatever we eat along with her four bottles a day. She's so cute and cuddly and she's ALWAYS smiling as big as this...

It's nice to have Mom in town. Most of you will say, "yeah, of course it is because she does your laundry, watches the kids and makes dinner." True. I will admit that is true. However, it's nice to see her too. It's hard living so close to your Mom all the time. I think it's healthy to live far away sometimes because it makes together time better and more meaningful. Deb and I were just as excited as the kids while we waited for her plane to land and we were just as sad as the kids when she left.

Mom cleaned all the dirty Sadie diapers while she was here. THAT was nice, for sure. However, she left a few days early...

Yesterday, Hannah was in the bathroom downstairs while we were fixing dinner in the kitchen. I heard her call me from the bathroom. She usually calls me when she poops so I can help her when she's done. Anyway, I heard her call and asked Deb, "What did she say?" We stopped what we were doing and she called again from downstairs and, this time, it was quite clear.

"Daddy! I have poop on my toe!"

So I put down the pizza bagels I was about to cook and walked downstairs. The whole 15 seconds it took me to get there I was thinking, "poop on her TOE? WTF?" I arrived at the toilet and Hannah was sitting there like normal. There was poop in the toilet and she looked perfectly OK...except for the dollop of poop resting right on the top of her third toe. Her panties were spotless, the floor was spotless, the toilet seat was spotless, her hands were spotless. OK. So I clean her up and put her panties on.

"Hannah, how did you get a dollop of poop on your third toe?"

"What's a wallop?"

Mystery unsolved.

Sometimes kids just get stuff in places that no other human beings can get to. It's just that simple.

Where was Mom when I needed her then? Mom would have doused Hannah in formaldehyde, scrubbed the bathroom with Comet, opened all the windows to get the germs out, and had the family evacuated to a shelter for the night. I just wiped the poop off with some toilet paper.

Lot's more new pics are up!! Click here to see them!!!

Hannah Leora

Dear Hannahle,

Since you turned three years old in May, I have noticed such beautiful changes in you that I find myself getting goose bumps just thinking about you lately.

You have become one of the sweetest, most caring and wonderful people I have ever known; and I can’t imagine how much more wonderful you will become once you start to understand how your sweetness affects others.

When I had my little operation this summer, you came to me every single day for a month and asked me how my boo-boo was. It wasn’t just that you asked, but it was the way you asked. You put your hand on my knee, looked in my eyes and asked me in the sweetest voice I have ever heard.

Most of our days end with me putting you in your bed. You don’t let anyone else do it if I am there. You always ask me to pick you up and carry you to your bed so I can protect your feet from the “hot lava.” When we get to your room, you always ask me what kind of tea I want and then pretend to fix it in your toy blue cup with “just a little honey, just like you like it.” You are so genuine that I can almost taste real tea when I bring the cup to my mouth. When I “drink” my tea, your eyes never leave the cup so you can see if I approve of the taste of my tea.

Sometimes, on the weekends, you take my order and prepare me my favorite pancakes with just a little syrup for dipping. Sometimes you share my syrup with me. I love that.

Every night at dinner, you always want to eat exactly what I am eating. When I eat a potato and you taste it, you say we are “potato partners.” When I eat corn and you taste it, you say we are “corn cousins.” When we eat tomatoes, you say we are “tomato twins.” You don’t always like what I eat for dinner but you always want to taste it. You are adventurous and eager to try all of the new things you come across in the course of your day.

Just about every day when I get home, you come running full steam towards me screaming, “DADDY!!!” and leap into my arms. As soon as I hug you, you ask how my day was. The best part of that for me is that you actually listen when I answer you. If I say, “bad”, you ask me why it was bad. When I say, “good”, you ask me why it was good, even though you already know the answer. It’s because I get to come home to a hug from you! You love hearing me say that and I can see how your eyes light up when I say that night after night.

The love and affection you show to your brother and sister are amazing. When Elijah comes home from karate, you always ask him how his karate class was. The other day, you begged me to take you with me to pick him up from his class. Together, we watched as he finished his moves and when he was done, you turned to me and said, “I am so proud of ‘Lijah!” You always help Sadie with her “tete” and blankie and you are gentle and compassionate towards her. You love how she wears your old clothes and can’t wait for her to be able to play with your Dora House with you. I know this because I hear you talking to her when you don’t know I am there.

Sometimes I just wish I could stop time and savor every moment just a little bit more. When I am peeking in at you playing in your room with Sadie, I always picture you ten, fifteen, twenty years later doing the same thing….

The other day when you were sitting on my lap watching TV, I asked you if it was OK if you ALWAYS sat on my lap forever. You said, “of course, Daddy, I’m your girl.” You didn’t see my face but I had a tear running down my cheek. You are right, you are my girl. And I am proud to be your Daddy.

I love you very, very much.

Love, Daddy

You are the wind at my back
You give what I lack
You're the jewel in my hand
You're like rain on dry land

You're the focus the beam
You're realities dream
You're the blue in my black
You're the wind at my back

And my soul has been kissed
Just because you exist
You're the dream that's a fact
You're the wind at my back

Mick and Mouse

It's weird how things manifest themselves in your life. Strange thing happened in my office this week. We discovered a mouse. All this week, we have been missing our family desperately because of our new cousin and newphew Mick. Everyone has met him and touched him except for us and it's hard being out here. Maybe it's Mick's way of saying he knows we are here and can't wait to meet him. In the 16 years I have been working in an office, I have never once seen a mouse. There he was yesterday, chomping on some scraps of food on the floor and scampering away when he was seen. Weird? The building management set traps last night but the mouse is still on the loose. I feel funny calling him Mickey Mouse but, for some reason, every time I think of the Mouse, I think of Mick. Maybe that was planned.

Mick is doing well. His IV is out and he is growing nicely. Candice gets to hold him every day and Scottie too. It's all good. He should be home in plenty of time for us to meet him when we go to NJ in late October!

Happy Anniversary Ma and Pop Borenstein!!!! Married 41 years TODAY!!!!

WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!

The Miracle (x2)

Most of you know that my sister and her husband have been expecting their first child this November. Most of you also know the process they had to endure to get to this point. A certain subtle post I made earlier this year alluded to this situation. In any case, all was progressing well with the pregnancy and the only sad part was that Deb and the kids and I would not be able to see "Nugget" for awhile because our visit to NJ in October would probably be weeks before the birth. We were making plans for visits in early 2007 to meet my future neice or nephew.

This past Saturday, we were visiting a couple at their home for Shabbat lunch. This couple keeps a kosher house and shomer shabbat. Shomer shabbat means no phone usage, no turning on electric items, no driving, etc. Of course, as soon as we arrived my cellphone rang. I decided to be respectful and not answer it. I knew it was Mom because she has a special ringtone with her voice programmed into my phone. "Hello my handsome son. This is your mother calling. PICK IT UP!!" I heard the voicemail signal beep so I figured I would respond later, after we left. Not sixty seconds later, the phone rang again with her voice. She would not call twice in a row unless something was wrong. I asked permission from the hosts and they urged me to answer it. Mom was crying. Candice was in the hospital with extremely high blood pressure (200 over 150 or something, she said) and the doctors have to take the baby by C-section immediately.

Candice had severe headaches that morning and was seeing spots. She was swollen and having mini-contractions. Scottie rushed her to the hospital. The doctor knew pretty quickly that she was suffering from preeclampsia. She was in the OR within two hours and gave birth to a 2lb, 9 oz baby boy around 5pm EST on Saturday. The baby was rushed to ICU and given IV's between his little fingers and a tube to help breathing. Candice was quite out of it for awhile while the doctors worked to bring her blood pressure down. It took over a day to do this.

The doctors said that the baby may get worse before he gets better and to fully expect this. Plenty of babies born nine weeks premature end up perfectly fine. The first few nights were scary for everyone. The baby needed some help on occasion with breathing but as of my last report earlier today, is breathing fine. He developed some jaundice last night but was in good shape today. Thank god. The prognisis is good and within six weeks or so, my new nephew will come home. Candice is being discharged tomorrow and will have to travel to the hospital every day to deliver colostrum for the baby. They give it to him through his IV.

I'll have more updates here as they come in. For now, it's yet another example of the Miracle of Birth.

Mick Hadar Goldstein, born September 2, 2006

It's a Female Dog

Today is Elijah's second day of his new life as a first grader. Yesterday was described by him as "the best day EVER" so it's been going well so far.

Most of you know by now from reading the blog for years, that he and I have a ritual each night. I lay in his bed with him for 30 or so minutes and we talk about everything from the latest transformer toys to the solar system. By the way, try explaining to your six year old why Pluto is not a planet anymore. I just told him it was demoted for non-performance.

Anyway, this past Sunday during our "laydown time" as he calls it, Elijah asked me a startling question.

"Daddy, what's a bitch?"

"It's what you call your new 1st grade teacher when she mouths off to you about your poor performance on the pop quiz she had no right giving you the day before."

Blogger does not let you put a thought cloud around quotes yet....if they did, there would be one around the quote above. Don't freak on me.

"One of the kids at the Montessori School used to say bitch all the time. What does that mean? Is bitch a bad word? Do we say bitch in the house? When is a good time to say bitch?"

I emphasize the 'b' in bitch because that's how he was saying it. It was almost like he was rubbing the word in my face over and over again.

"Bitch is a bad word, Elijah. We don't say that word around the house ever. You also don't say it outside of the house. It's the same level as asshole, jerkoff, dicknose, douchebag, fartknocker, scumbag and a host of other words we never say."

"What were those other ones, dad?"

"Get a pen."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hannah recently told me what she wants to do when she's "growed up." I was so proud. She wants to be a pancake maker.

I briefly considered taking her out of the 3 year old class at the Montessori School right then. She does not need a day more of schooling! I think you can apply for a degree in pancake making after registering for preschool. The pancake industry only needs to see that you enrolled in preschool and you are in. Think of the money we will save!!

She actually made me pancakes last weekend and they were fantastic! Much better than the pancake maker at IHOP here in Salt Lake. She could take that person's job TODAY!!

Thing is, what is the mecca job for pancake makers? I mean, you start mopping the pancake batter at Denny's, then get promoted to Director of Pancake Making there. Then maybe a headhunter gets you interviews at Marie Callanders and IHOP. Maybe you take a Junior Directorship at IHOP for a few years and get your certification. Then what? At least you have initials next to your name, Hannah Borenstein CPM. Maybe she will invent a NEW pancake or revolutionize the whole pancake industry. Hmmmm....HannahCakes! Her ticket is secure!!

From 1st Grade to College (Without Passing GO)

This is the title of my latest post over at DadBloggers.

Check it out!

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

We just completed hosting Deb's parents for ten days. My father-in-law (Bochi) is an avid fan of planes and trains so many of our activities around town centered around them. We visited the Hill Airforce Base, Union Station and the Heber Railroad. We rode a steam train through the hills of Heber and Deb had her picture taken in front of her favorite airplane, the SR-71. You can see all of the pictures from the visit on the gallery link to the right. It was a nice visit featuring TONS of eating. I think I gained 7 pounds! We had Deb's birthday dinner at Tango Grille downtown, an Argentine restaurant featuring MEAT. Lots of MEAT. We ate at Loco Lizards, iHop, Ruby Tuesday, Iggys and had several fantastic home-cooked meals of my favorite Argentine dishes, Milanesa and a pierogi and meat dish called Charkoye, which I cannot find ANYWHERE on the internet. Yum!!

So what's new with the kiddies? Hannah has become pure joy. She wears her intense emotions and love on her sleeve and sometimes you can even see it surrounding her....like in this picture. She is so sweet I can't stand it. I spend a lot of time squeezing her. She is liking the Montessori School and we are moving her to a program that is more suitable for her in September at a place called Buttons & Bows.

Elijah is starting 1st grade in TWO WEEKS!! I can't wait to write about that! He's been anxious about it but he gets comfort knowing that some of the kids from kindergarten will be there with him. Poor guy has been through so much change in the last six months. He's still all love though. He protects his little sister like she's a rare gem. He's my boy.

The big news around the house this week concerns #3! Sadie is crawling all over the place. It's not safe anymore!! She's fast and ACTIVE. Her checkup went great, she's growing at least two teeth and she's MOBILE.

I will work on posting some video of her crawling soon.

All else is well here in Utah! Our next visitor is in early September for a night or two and then Aunt Rockie comes for Rosh Hashana!!

And for those who are concerned....my "boys" have recovered quite well....

More from Jawdy...

For those of you who say I should post more often - I have been! Just not necessarily here. I've been contributing to another blog called DadBloggers for six months. I write once a month there along with 25 or so other Dads. The site has been getting some good momentum and is being featured this week in the local newspaper in North Carolina, where it's based (the Charlotte Observer). I'll post the article link here when I get it. Anyway - go check it out - my most recent post about my vasectomy "A Stitch in Time" was published just yesterday.

DadBloggers

Yank, Snip, Sear

A man comes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I want a vasectomy." The doctor says, "Well, that's a big decision; have you discussed this with your family?" And he replies, "Yes, and they're in favor, 11 to 3."

So here I am at my office on a Monday. It's not like any other Monday in my office before, though. No - this is the very first Monday I have reported to work sterile. I limped in today with that grin on my face that says, "my scrotum was violated three days ago and I am LOVING LIFE!"

I had arrived at the Doctor's office happy and sad. Happy that I would finally take care of this and sad because I was about to intrude into the lives of two of my very best friends. I mean, there they are, never bothered anybody or anything. They spent their lives servicing me and tending to my needs. They never complained, never bitched about their living conditions, never spoke up about tight undies or hot car seats. They just did their jobs. Now, here I was, making a life changing decision for them without even bothering to ask. Well, that's not entirely true. While shaving the night before, I did mention a little apology and tried to prepare them for the trauma that was ahead.

The Doctor was terrific. I was on my back on the table. Bare from the waist down except for a excellently designed surgical paper/cloth thing with a neat hole cut in the middle for Pierre and the boys to peek through. I didn't look down in the direction for the entire 25 minutes of the procedure. The Doctor applied several solutions with cotton and started talking to me about pro basketball. He's a Jazz fan and he knew I was a Sixers fan so we talked hoops while he worked on me. He warned me of a few light pricks as he injected the stuff that numbs you. It was like getting shots of Novacain in your mouth except it was your scrotum instead.

Once I "numbed up", the Doctor, with his nurse assisting, started the procedure. Besides the banter about rebounds and Michael Jordan, all I heard was some actual snipping as the doc cut my innards. The sound of the snip was alarming. It sounded like when you cut one of those thin plastic thingys that attaches the price to a new pair of pants...except it's inside your scrotum. After the snip, I could smell the burning as the Doctor cauterized either end of the price tag wire and then pushed them back inside. My right side was less cooperative. I had scar tissue in there from a double hernia fix that I had 35 years ago. He apologized as he had to do "more manipulation" to get the right one done. Finally the snip. Then the burn. At that point, I thought we were done, save for the stitching up.

What are some of the worse sentences you can hear a Doctor mutter to his nurse while you are laying there having open-scrotum surgery? I guess the worse would be, "Whoa - quick - grab that before it bounces out of the room! 5 second rule!"

Before the doc stitched me up, he muttered to the nurse, "hold that skin there just for a second.." I got nauseaus for a second but managed to calm myself. The stitch followed and the Doctor announced that we were done.

He starts cleaning up and, I guess someone had called out that day, the doc asked ME to, "hold this really tight while we clean this up a bit." I reached my hand down and he put part of my scrotum in my hand and said to PINCH IT really hard. I just did I was told, being that I could not feel shit. There I was, laying there on a table squeezing my balls while a doctor and nurse cleaned up the crime scene and disposed of my vas deferens. I asked the doc if he had a camera.

The rest of the weekend was spent on the couch with my feet up. I iced my boys for ten straight hours after the procedure and have been wearing a jock to keep everything nice and tight since. People are asking me if I have pain and I really don't. The feeling is more like an annoying nudge down there, which is really what it should be because that's exactly what happened. I have just one stitch and it will dissolve on it's own. The doc wants to see me in eight weeks sporting a sample so he can see if all this worked. Between now and then, I need to ejaculate twenty times or more. NICE!

I want to thank Deb for taking such good care of me since the procedure. Her job started today and she's been a little stressed all weekend but still managed to make sure I stayed on the couch. Mom helped too before she left for home on Saturday.

Elijah asked me why I had the surgery and I told him so that we don't have anymore babies.

"Then why isn't MOM having the surgery - she's the one who has the babies."

"Don't you have a cartoon to watch now?" It's not time for the birds and bees just yet....

Nothing else is new. I had a vasectomy on Friday, Deb started her new job today and ALL THREE KIDS started their new programs today. No stress in my house at all. :-)

All three are doing great today. I just hung up with La Petite where Sadie is and they love her already. I am responsible for transporting Sadie and Deb handles Elijah and Hannah. They both go to the same place for the summer and it's just a mile from Deb's job so it's easy for her.

Mom went home on Saturday and left Elijah hysterical in the car because he didn't want her to leave. I felt terrible because I knew he would be OK within minutes of driving away from the airport but Mom would have to sit there waiting to board, by herself and thinking about him. He was fine as expected and Mom had a good flight and life is back to normal.

This weekend is a three day weekend for Utahns as they celebrate Pioneer Day. Our office will be closed on Monday and the state celebrates like it's the 4th of July all over again. This time there are twice as many fireworks, twice the celebrations, parades, etc. It's a state holiday. Even the banks are closed!

So that's all from Utah for now. Please say a prayer for my two best friends. May they rest in sperm-free peace.

Countdown to Capgun

Just six hours and six minutes now until I finally cap off the expansion of this generation of Borensteins!! Last night I prepared for the big day by following the instructions outlined on the Vasectomy Handbook that the good Doctor gave me. I shaved the to-be-sliced portion of my gonads clean last night. It's like I'm nine years old all over again.

The most interesting part of the to-do list that the Doctor gave me was the third item on the list. "Thouroughly clean your scrotum before the procedure." OK. Like I am going to submit myself to doctors and nurses sporting a punch bag with a week's worth of buildup. Give me a break. I should NOT wash it just out of spite. Actually, I took a loofa too it and realized after about seven seconds that I should have done that BEFORE I shaved... The pain of the surgery will be nothing to me now.

Awwwwwwwww NUTS!

It's hot here in Salt Lake. The weather guy says that there are around five days each summer when the temperature hits 100 degrees. Those days usually occur between July 22nd and August 4th. For now, we are hanging in the low to mid 90s every day with lows in the 60s at night. It's been beautiful. My folks have been here since Wednesday. Dad is leaving tonight and Mom stays through Sunday. We have been everywhere. We went to Solitude and Brighton Resorts and took the tram to the top of Snowbird. We drove to Park City and through the gorgeous Guardsman's Pass gravel road which takes you miles down the side of a mountain through trees and the most amazing views ever! Today, it's Antelope Island and an walk through the Great Salt Lake. We won't see my folks again until October. :-(

Another good thing about Mom being here this week is that she can watch the kiddies on Friday while Deb escorts me to the ceremonial "Cutting of the Vas." Yes, finally, this Friday...I go from Oozie to cap gun. I will sumbit my testicles to the ultimate modification - mutilation. The sick thing is that I CAN'T WAIT!! Bring on the scalpel! The good doctor will take fifteen minutes of his day to tend to my yearning to be sterile. I have to shave the night before and wear a jock strap all weekend. I figure if I can't find a jock strap anywhere, I will just hollow out a watermelon and get some rope... :-)

I will blog this weekend about how it all went. I will also post a bunch of pictures of our time with Mom and Dad.

Deb starts at the synagogue on Monday and all three kiddies are off to their new "homes" during the day. Monday will be crazy!! I should have lots to write about!

The Importing Has Begun!

The more I learn about this beautiful place we now call home, the more I realize how little people who don't live here know about it.

A few weeks back we had our first guest visit. Deb's sister Amy was here for a few days. This week, our dear friends the Turers are here. Spencer was here for 12 hours and could not comprehend how NICE everyone is here. We were outside our house playing with the kids in the sprinklers and two of my neighbors came over and introduced themselves to him. He had 30 minute conversations with each of them. Then I took him through the Einstein Bagel drivethrough and he was amazed at the smiles and cheers that the employees had while taking our orders and serving us at the window. I think he and Lynne want to move here now.

We took some awesome pictures this week during their visit and you can see them here at the Borenstein Picture Gallery.

Next Wednesday my parents are coming and, as much as I want to see them, I am just as much looking forward to showing them where we live. Dad is going to LOVE the humidity here (11% today with 103 degrees) and is going to LOVE the view from the mountains. Mom is going to freak at how nice everyone is and how wonderful this place is for children. We are going to take her on a real Utah hike! They will want to retire here by the time they leave.

I know what you are thinking...I am just talking it up because I am trying to justify being here. Not true at all. There is so little to dislike here it's amazing. Yes, they tax you on clothes and food and it's 7.5 percent. Yes, it's snows a lot. Yes, there are not many Jews here. There are negatives. However, when all is said and done, it truly is the most beautiful place I've seen in the USA. Deb and I always look at eachother when we are siteseeing and say, "we live here."

Speaking of Deb....the synagogue and the Jewish community got what they were looking for. Deb is starting her new job on July 17th as a Director in Congregation Kol Ami here in Salt Lake! She had 3 interviews and got the offer last Thursday. She accepted on Monday! They may not completely know it yet, but they are about to be turned upside down here! She's going to rock their world. I am super proud of her. This is a challenging job. The administration is broken and it's all going to be on Deb's hands to fix it. She's in charge of everything from fundraising to building issues. The Rabbi and her assistant are the only employees who will not report directly to her. There's a winner in town!

Meanwhile we are searching for daycare and camp facilities now and it looks like Hannah and Elijah will spend the summer together at the same facility while Sadie will go to another. Come the fall, Elijah is in full day school and Hannah will go to pre-school WITH DEB at the synagogue! Not a bad arrangement!

Anyway, sorry I have not posted. Many of you have been budging me to and I will get back on schedule now. SO much is going on with life and our visitors. You look up and it's the 28th of the month already....

A few more tidbits before you click on that link for the cool pictures:

• Sadie is nearly crawling. She's just about there....
• Elijah lost the second and final tube from his ear from his operation last year. We saved it.
• Hannah gets naked down to her panties every day at 4pm and does not get dressed again until her PJs at night.
• We sold the damaged TV from our move for $800. Well, actually, $300 in landscaping (barter!) and $500 cash.
• Did I mention it's beautiful here? :-)

Ta ta for now!!

Thirty-Nine.......for REAL!!!

What a strange birthday for me. My REAL 39th! Does this mean that for the rest of my life I will join the billions of people in this world who announce their 39th birthday EVERY YEAR no matter how old they are? Who knows. All I know for sure is that it's the last year of my 30's and it's rather hard to believe. Most of you know that I don't give my own birthdays much attention because to me, age is in your mind more than your body. As long as I wake up with morning wood every day and have to bend completely across the toilet for that first pee in the morning, then I am not too old. Where 39 really hits home is that, once again, I have vivid memories of where my own parents were at this age. THAT freaks me out.

Dad was 39 in 1980. I was 13, just had my Bar Mitzvah. Mom was only 35 then. She didn't turn 39 until I was a junior in high school. Me? When Sadie is a junior in high school I will be 55. Old? Who knows. I'll let you know then.

Meanwhile, it was a beautiful day for my birthday. It was 97 degrees but the humidity was so low that I drove to and from work with my windows down. Now, anyone who knows me is aware that I sweat bullets at the slightest sign of heat. I could be standing naked on an ice berg in the North Pole and there would be beads on my forehead. Now, after all these years, I am finally realizing what all those 90 year old Jews in Florida are always saying, is TRUE - it's not the heat...it's the humidity! 20% humidity means sweat comes and goes in minutes. It's a DREAM.

This week starts our summer of visitors. Deb's sister Amy is in town for 4 days. A few days afterwards, Spencer and Lynne and the kids are coming for a week. A few days later my parents arrive for ten days. A few days after that Deb's parents are coming for 10 days. Then in September Aunt Rocky is coming for a week. Then in October we are going to NJ again for Lauren's Bat Mitzvah and our week in DISNEY WORLD with the Turers. Before you know it, it will be November and I will be shoveling 600 inches of snow off my driveway.

Hope you all enjoyed the pics that were posted. More videos are coming. Now, I am off to bed for my first night of sleep as a 39 year old. 39 years YOUNG, that is.

Another Shot at VIDEO

Thanks for hanging in there with me folks. I am trying Yahoo Video here. The service just launched this week and since none of you could view the video from YouTube, I figured I would give this a shot. Let me know if you can see this!! It's Hannah in NJ for her birthday...

Absence Makes the Heart....

Just got back from six days in NJ. What a fantastic trip. I am going to let the pictures do the talking am in the process of uploading some videos too. I'll just say that it was great to see everyone and the two weddings were fantastic too. Deb and the girls are still visiting and will be coming home on Saturday morning.

For now, please click on the Borenstein Family pictures at the right and look at Elijah in his tuxedo at Liz and Alex's wedding; Hannah with her magnificent Ariel cake (thanks Lynne!) at her birthday party; Sadie playing with grandpa; and the old group having a great time at the BBQ......

More pics after Deb gets back!!

Jawdy's Basement Presents the First Ever Video Blog!

First off, head over the picture site for two new picture albums featuring Hannah's Third Birthday Dinner and Elijah's Kindergarten Program.

Now, speaking of Elijah's program...here is the first video ever posted here at the Basement. There are more to come - mostly shorter than this but I HAD to run this whole thing because it's absolutely classic. Elijah is there in the middle - it won't take long to find him. SHAKE THOSE HIPS!!!

Milestones and House Pains

Sorry so late!! For the first time since writing on Jawdy's Basement, I have been uninspired for some reason. Strange, I must say. Usually I will remark a bunch of times that "I need to post about this" but lately I have not said that. UNTIL NOW! What a eventful week we had here in the Borenstein Family - Utah Branch....

First is big news about Elijah. He woke up one morning and announced that his tooth had come out! It had been loose for quite some time, about a month I think, and he woke up with it on his tongue. I think we were more excited than he was. He was so nonchalant about it - just announced that the thing was on his tongue, put it in a plastic bag and went to watch his morning TV. That night he put the tooth under his pillow and the tooth fairy delivered a fresh $5 bill in it's place. He awoke the next morning and grabbed the $5 and went around telling everyone that the tooth fairy gave him "just one five-dollar bill." Poor kid. When I lost my teeth, the tooth fairy gave me some broccoli and flaxseed. So the going rate is $5 per tooth now? Amazing. He's actually decided to bank the cash in hopes of saving enough money to purchase the millennium Falcon. The ACTUAL millennium Falcon. I told him he would need to steal other kid's teeth to get enough cash for that. Our boy is TOOTHLESS!! I loved calling him that. That's what Dad called my sister and I when we lost teeth. "Hey toothless - come eat your broccoli. You don't want the tooth fairy to get offended!"

Sunday was, of course, Mother's Day. It was also our Hannah's third birthday. We got a little homesick when we asked Hannah where she wanted to have her birthday dinner and she said "Aunt Cannice's house." Eventually she decided on Mexican food so we went to the city and ate dinner at the Blue Iguana. Hannah ordered a burrito and had the greatest time. It was precious.

They don't really do a Happy Birthday thing over there but our waiter, Carlos, was kind enough to sing Happy Birthday to Hannah anyway. That plate is fried ice cream and Hannah thought there was popcorn in it when she tasted it. We told her it was cinnamon and she asked Carlos how they got the cinnamon in the ice cream. It was adorable. She said it was the best birthday dinner she ever had.

We are so proud - our little girl is three!

So the weekend was over and then came today....let me start by taking you back a few weeks...or a few years...

Most of you know that the one common denominator with all of the houses we have owned has been WATER. Our first house had water flowing into the downstairs family room on a regular basis. If that was not happening then the hot water heater was overflowing and murdering our carpet. So we moved. House #2 had that whole basement fiasco that I don't want to remember right now but if you want to relive it, you can do so here. SO now we moved across the country to one of the dryest states of all. You know what's coming....

A few weeks back, I noticed a small puddle just inside the laundry room door which leads to the backyard. I figured water had just seeped under the door (we had rain) so I dismissed it. Every once in awhile I noticed some water in the same place and just figured that it seeped under the door. So this weekend I went to Home Depot and bought a door seal so I could reseal the door and end the seepage. I won't be needing the sealer.

Last night I noticed a rather large pool of dirty water there. It had not rained. I opened the laundry room door and it was perfectly dry outside. Uh-oh. So I got down on all fours and proceed to follow a small trail of water that ended at the baseboard of the wall. The wall was leaking. I ran my hand up the wall in horror as I realized it was bubbly and mushy and WET. My first thought was, "the water fucking followed us to Utah." We already had an exterminator coming to the house today to get rid of the CARPENTER ANTS that are in my kitchen....and now this. Sleeping was difficult last night but all's well that ends well...

I woke up and called the home warranty people. Thank god for home warranties!!! The plumbers were here in an hour. They removed cabinets from the wall and cut open the sheetrock....all the way up to the ceiling. There, JUST BELOW the ceiling line, was the source of the problem. The water was coming from the kitchen sink. Had the source of the problem been just a few inches higher, the plumbers would have had to cut open the ceiling and secondary damages are NOT covered in the home warranty....like I said all's well that ends well. They replaced the pipe and remounted the cabinets in the laundry room and it only cost me $55 for the deductible.

Oh yeah - the carpenter ants are gone too.

We got our swamp cooler working!! Don't know what one is? I didn't either. Read about them here. We don't have central air here in Utah - you really don't need it because it's totally not humid. Now, you all know that I am not the average HANDYMAN so one of my employees came over today, climbed on the roof, and hooked the thing up (it's been 85 and sunny and will be all week). It's much nicer in here now!! Thanks Kelly!! Check out the clouds!

So now we are back to normal. No more ants. No more water in the house. Nice and chilly in here too. Life is good again.

The Great Outdoors

One of the great things about moving here to Utah is the outdoor life. EVERYONE is outside all the time. I'm talking 8am to 10pm on the weekends - kids EVERYWHERE. They are riding their bikes or scooters (or, with one 5 year old on our block, a motorcycle with training wheels) up and down the block and in the circle (we live in a cul-de-sac). It's amazing. Last Sunday, Elijah was riding his bike for four hours outside and was really getting the hang of it. His bike is a few years old now and is just big enough to fit him. Anyway, after coming inside for the night on Sunday, he accidentaly left the bike on the driveway. Not that big a deal around here - there is not much of a threat for it to be stolen. However, he left it ON IT'S SIDE. It was raining on Monday morning when I got in my car to leave for work and....well....you can probably guess what I didn't see behind me in the driveway...

Good thing the bike was not newer. It works out, kinda, because we are going to pick him up a scooter now to replace the bike. A lot of the kids have scooters here because it's more like snowboarding. Bikes are popular for sure, but you see more skateboards and scooters around then anything else. A good summer of "scootering" around will suit him well when the snow returns and he learns how to ski.

Deb had a productive weekend - she assembled a closet organizer in the girl's room all by herself! She was very proud! At one point, she borrowed a level from our neighbor and then needed his assistance to cut a pipe to fit in the closet, but I am giving her full credit for the job and it looks good!

We celebrated our wedding anniversary on Tuesday night by taking the kids to a restaurant here called The Mayan. It's Mexican food but the setting is in a jungle and there are cliff divers and magicians all over the place. The divers jump from about 20 feet and the kids love to watch them. There was a balloon lady and all kinds of distractions for the kids. The food was rather crappy but at least we didn't have an issue with the kids. Going to a nicer restaurant would have been a challenge. Deb and I agreed - we would save our anniversary date for when our parents come here so they can watch the kids for us.

I think I mentioned that Hannah gave up her pacifier a few weeks back. She's been sleeping great at night but, for some reason, has completely given up napping. Not good. Some of you can relate to this I'm sure - but being around a three year old who gets up at 7am and does not nap is like someone smearing wasabe on an open cut on your scrotum. It hurts.

So, as I type this, Deb is home trying to lure Hannah to her bed (or any bed for that matter). She's walking around the house with a fishing rod with fruit snacks on the hook saying, "come on girl - COME ON!!" but Hannah ain't biting. Looks like she's done napping for life.

It's 70 degrees and breezy and there is not a cloud in the sky here. It's going to be like this for the next SEVEN days. Are you jealous?

Click over to the recently completed 100 Things About Me page and contribute to the list!!

THE ZOO!!

Made our first trip to the great Utah Hogle Zoo Saturday! Check out the photo album by clicking HERE!

I'll write later in the week!

Stay Away From That New Family...

Elijah and I have always had a tradition of going to Target together on Saturdays. Back in NJ we would run some errands together just about every week and usually end up in Target for 10-15 minutes. This past Saturday, we went to the Target here in Salt Lake for the first time. This Target is maybe 3 miles from the house and it's one of those GREATLAND Targets...which means they have an entire grocery store with Salad Bar and everything. It could take 4 hours to walk through the place.

I don't know if we will ever be allowed to go back.

As soon as we get there, Elijah tells me he has to go potty so we walk in to the most vile smelling bathroom EVER. Imagine dunking your head in a vat of Jabba the Hut's doody.

"OH MY GOD - IT SMELLS SO BAD IN HERE!" said my honest boy.

"OK, Elijah, it IS a bathroom so lets go over here to the urinal and go pee pee."

"I think someone is making a POOP in here, Daddy!"

So I practically cut him off and raise my voice louder than his, which, if you know Elijah, is like shouting off the top of Mt. Rushmore. "OK sweet boy - are you done going pee pee?"

He backs off from the urinal and goes to wash his hands....but before he does, he walks up to the door of the stall and literally gets on his hands and knees to look UNDER THE DOOR. Before I could grab him, the words were already out.

"YEP!! THERE IS SOMEBODY MAKING A POOP IN HERE RIGHT NOW!"

At that point, my nervousness got to me so bad that I had to poop. We were home pretty quickly after that.

--------------------------------------------------------------

We went to our first Salt Lake Bees game today! They are the Triple A affiliate of the Angels and they play in a magnificent stadium about 15 miles from our house. It was a great day and the kids loved it. Click here to see all the pictures. I will leave you with one of my favorites...and no, the background is NOT a painting... We live in a pretty cool place...