Answering the Age Old Question....

So what do Jews do on Christmas?

The Wii is for EVERYONE!

Abuela was here for a few days this week to surprise the kids. It was their surprise final Hanukkah gift and, as expected, they went nuts. The highlight for me, though, was watching my MOM play a video game for the first time EVER. She did pretty well playing tennis on the Wii. Take a look...

Pay Day

Today was one of those days. I am not going to say much, as I am going to let the video do the talking. However, when I was in the flower shop today buying three pink roses for Hannah, the florist asked me what the occasion was. I told him that my four year old was starring in her first play called The Little Red Hen. He said, "Parenthood is very hard most of the time but then you get a night like tonight and it's like a big pay day." How right he is....

Please click here to witness some of the most precious video I've ever shot. There are two albums. One of from last week - the first night of Hanukkah - when Elijah got the Nintendo Wii. The other is from the show tonight in which Hannah stole the hearts of a hundred or so people at her school show. It was also Sadie's first performance and there is a clip of here as well in there.

Today is also Elijah's EIGHTH birthday. I feel bad because last year I wrote a short novel on his seventh birthday (you can see the post in the archives to the right) and he is getting just a mention this year. He had a great birthday and was a total trooper with us having to go see Sadie and Hannah perform on HIS night. HOWEVER, Abuela is surprising him again tomorrow and all will be well in the world again. :-) Happy Birthday, Elijah...you are the best boy in the world.

Enjoy the pics and videos. It's over 12 minutes worth!

SNOW!!!!!

It's GORGEOUS here today!! We are getting eight inches or so of snow and it's sticking and we PLAYED IN IT!!! Click here to see more pics and an awesome video of Sadie playing in the snow for the first time. It's precious!!!

Thanksgiving 2007

Click here to see pictures and videos of our Thanksgiving day yesterday. Hannah was the start of the show, as you can see....

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!!!

He's Going to Be an Attorney!

(leaving the Utah Jazz game last week, walking back to the car with Elijah)

"Daddy, look over there, that man is playing the accordion on the corner."

"He is. He's pretty good, dontcha think? Here, put this in bucket that's in front of him."

(hand Elijah 70 cents)

"OK!"

(walks up the the man and cautiously puts the change in his bucket)

"Why is he on the corner late at night, in the cold, playing the accordion, Dad?"

"He's homeless and has no money."

"He's broke? How did he afford the accordion, then?"

Sadie Pearl

Our baby is turning two years old on Sunday. I remember when I was two years old. The White Album had just come out. How could I forget that?

Sadie has grown up SO FAST since the beginning of the summer. It's mind boggling. She speaks in complete sentences now and can clearly communicate all of her emotions and needs. There's no confusion now at the dinner table if she's pooping or asking for more apple juice.

Lately, she's been so freaking cute and it's so hard to put in words. Every single morning when Deb gets her out of her crib she runs upstairs and slams into me screaming, "Daddy!! I'm awake!! I MISSED YOU!!"

Every time we change her diaper she runs into the bathroom to sit on the potty. For about five seconds. Then she jumps off and flushes the toilet. She watches intently as the clean, wasted water goes down the drain while saying, "Bye bye pee pee!!" Does she really think she peed?

Sadie has also become a bit of a star at the synagogue. All eyes are always on her at Friday night services as she dances around and says hi to everyone. She has a fan club there.

I can laugh at this now, several weeks later, but it was not so funny at the time. However, this is Sadie to a tee so the story needs to be told. Deb had a few business trips last month and I was with the kids for a few days. One afternoon I was hanging with Sadie watching TV when the phone rang. It was a friend of mine and we were talking for about ten minutes when I noticed Sadie had left the room. Not a big deal for most kids - the house is pretty much kid-proofed and she certainly could not get out of the house at all. However, this is Sadie Pearl we are talking about. I paniked. I hung up with my friend and begain to search the house. I found Sadie not thirty seconds later. She was sitting ON HER DRESSER. Yes, she was sitting ON HER DRESSER. Do I need to type that again? She was SITTING ON HER DRESSER. How she got up there - no idea. She must have used the small, round knobs on the drawers to scale the front of it. Anyway, it gets better. In one hand, she held a red and organge striped shirt. No big deal. Then I looked at her legs. She was wearing blue jeans. I sort of recognized them as they were the ones I put her in that morning. However, they were different now. You see, several weeks before Deb and I were packing up old clothes from the girl's room and putting them in Rubbermaid containers. So I would not forget what clothes were in each bin, I labeled them. Common sense, right? Yeah. Well, my label maker of choice was a black, permanent Sharpie marker. When I was done with the marker that day, I thought I would place it in an ENCLOSED CONTAINER and, hmmm, where's a HIGH place where a two-year old kid could NEVER reach it? YEAH - on top of a dresser! That's perfect!! We call those jeans her "Zebra pants" now. Hyperventilating, I lifted the smiling girl off the dresser, placed her on the floor and began to admire her artwork. The dresser top was neatly scribbled on, as was her WINDOW SILL where about fifteen innocent, completely unsuspecting stuffed animals live. I hope they like their new stripes. The shirt that Sadie was holding was also redesigned. She wears it still. It's a red, orange and BLACK striped shirt now. Amazingly, the Sharpie was placed back in the container from which it came and said container was CLOSED BACK UP again. Incredible.

We are just going to The Mayan for dinner and to watch the hot cliff divers tomorrow to celebrate. She'll enjoy it.

Happy Birthday, my little angel!! I am going to New Jersey next week for four days and when I get back to Utah, I can't wait to hear those magic words..."I MISSED YOU!!!"

New Pics and Vids!

Hello out there!!!  Short update today...just to direct you to the Utah Borensteins Phanfare site for a massive video update today.  There are several recent videos of the kiddies including on of Sadie that is an all-timer.  As she approaches her second birthday, she's really catching on the the whole "talking" thing...  There are a bunch of pics from Halloween as well as MORE videos!!  Enjoy!!!  Next post soon...

Click here for the videos!!

Picture Break....

Here's a few shots as we enjoy Grandpa's visit to Utah this week.

Also - at the bottom - Elijah got his Purple Belt on Saturday morning!! The video shows part of his test. We are all very proud!!!!

Only in Utah!

No words are needed. Yes, it's SEPTEMBER...

N V T S Nuts!

I don't want to be premature here, but it seems as though Elijah and Hannah are actually getting along better these days. For those not in the know - the two of them have been fighting like dogs ALL THE TIME for the past year or so. They have their nice moments, but most of the time is just nark after nark after nark....ALL DAY LONG....

"Mommy, Elijah called my stuffed animal stupid."

"Daddy, Hannah said I wasn't allowed to eat dessert."

"Daddy, Elijah touched my shoulder in a rough way."

"Mommy, Hannah looked at me with one eye open."

"Mommy, Elijah was thinking about saying that I was a moron."

"Daddy, Hannah is still breathing."

Anyway, we've been waiting for them to get past all this and finally start being more friendly with eachother and the tide seems to be chaning ever so slightly these days.

The two of them have started playing this game with eachother that involves a nylon sleeping bag and a set of stairs. They line the stairs with the slippery sleeping bag and slide down the stairs at high speed as the bag flies up and lands on them at the bottom. It's fun to watch even if my heart nearly jumps out of my chest with every smack of their bodies against the ground at the bottom of the stairs. Legs go flying, bodies disappear in the rubble and the laughter never stops.

Last night as they were getting ready to call it a night, they started to get rammy (as kids often do as you ask them to wrap things up) and the play got more and more daring and loud. On the final trip down the stairs, Hannah's legs whipped up over her head and her left pinky toe smacked square into her brother's crotch.

Rolling over on the carpet with his hands cradeling his developing package, and in a fit of laughter, he screamed out a line I will never forget...

"OH MY GOD....MY NUTS!!"

Classic.

You Never Forget Your First One (well, Dad certainly won't)

So I picked up Elijah today from the Dojo as usual, around 6pm. We have a routine of sorts when I pick him up. He gets in the car, closes the door and says, "What's UP, Dad?" To which I almost ALWAYS reply, "Nothin' really....'SUP WITCHU?"

Then we go through his day and I hear about school and things like this. Today, I heard about something I had not heard about before and probably will hear about MANY MANY MANY more times in the coming years.

"Hey Dad....remember Sofia from my class in first grade last year, who's Mom is from Argentina?"

"Um....not really....I bet Mom does, though."

"Guess what? I GOT HER PHONE NUMBER TODAY!"

"'Scuse me? You got her phone number?"

"Yeah!! I really did!! It's in my shorts. Now I can call her and see if she can come over on the weekends."

I wasn't even ready to think about Bar Mitzvah dates yet and now THIS?

He went on to tell me that they were friends last year, but this year have taken the relationship to a whole new level. They started hugging last week, kissing on Friday, got to third base today and now are talking about retirement.

Actually, I faintly started hearing "Cat's in the Cradle" in the background during the whole ride home.

Tonight when he was going to sleep, I asked him how his friend Morgan was. Morgan has been in karate with him since he started. He told me she was doing well and that she got a whole new hairdo with two barettes and a part on the side.

HE'S NOTICING!!!

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Speaking of noticing...did you see that cool new Widget in the upper right of the page? It shows the location of folks who access the page. Pretty cool, huh? It's in test mode...not sure if I like it yet.

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Abuela was here in town for a few days...seemed like a few hours. She left on Monday afternoon. Monday night the kiddies all had issues going to sleep. No matter how many books we read them or how long we cuddle with them, nothing compares to being put night-night by their Abuela. Nothing comes close. They were going to alternate nights with her - each getting two to themselves - but that didn't last. She slept with BOTH OF THEM on the final two nights. I don't know how she got any sleep in the queen sized bed. I don't think she cared much either. It was still vacation for her.

Deb and I got to have a DATE when Abuela was here....one that didn't cost us an extra bundle for babysitting!! This is a cool perk for when Abuela visits. THANKS ABUELA!! We miss you already!!!!!!

The Best Feeling in the World

Elijah and I shared a "man" moment the other day that I have to share with you.

We went to Famous Dave's for dinner. As usual, right before the food came, Elijah said he had to go to the bathroom. I am not quite comfortable enough to let him go alone yet so I went in the bathroom with him.

Usually, when we go to restaurant bathrooms, they are empty. This time, it was packed. We waited in line and, finally, Elijah got to use the urinal. Both stalls next to him were occupied and there were two people at the sinks. I just stand there and wait for him to get finished. I usually like to talk to him the whole time so that people don't think I am some kind of Idaho Senator waiting for some fun.

Anyway, on this day Elijah was mid-stream at the urinal when he turns his head around to face me and, with the biggest smile on his face, says, "Ahhhhhhhh, Dad, isn't peeing the best feeling EVER?"

He didn't say it softly either. He announced it. People looked over and smiled. But he didn't stop there.

"However, pooping really isn't a very good feeling at all."

As the heads turned back to look at him as he was "shaking out", I had to jump in...

"Let's see if you still say that when you're forty years old, buddy."

My son and I are totally bonding!!

Don't Eat the Seeds

I spent much of the week in NJ this past week on business. I was going to write about my adventure getting BACK to SLC (23 hours, four flights and a night in Midway Airport in Chicago) but then I saw this video that my sister took of Scottie and I on my first night back. Little did I know then that my facial expression would sum up my trip home.....

This also gives me a chance to test out the new video podcast feature that Blogger released this week. What do you think?

Barry Bonds

Well, it finally happened. Barry Bonds just broke the most hallowed record in all of sports.

As a huge baseball fan for over 30 years, I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I think Bonds is one of the absolute greatest baseball players ever. On the other hand, I do believe that he cheated along the way. Most people probably feel the same way that I do.

The only question that keeps me from completely shunning Bonds and this record is this: if everyone used steroids, was it really cheating?

I was watching live when he hit the homer and I could not help putting my personal feelings for Bonds aside when I watched a real class act - Henry Aaron - give a congradulatory message to Bonds on the jumbotron. Bonds' own comments to the fans and his family, especially his father, were heartfelt and sincere. One of the few times I've EVER heard Bonds sound sincere in his career.

One thing's for sure...the homerun record is no longer sacred. That's been shattered by this power surge baseball has seen in the last 15 or so years. Alex Rodriguez will probably break the record soon and it certainly won't last close the the 33 years that Henry Aaron held it. I still believe that the most sacred record in sports is, and always will be, Joe DiMaggio's 56 game hitting streak. I don't believe that will EVER be broken and it's already been 51 years since DiMaggio did it.

Actually, I would be MORE impressed if Bonds reaches 3,000 hits (he's 80 or so away). That's a record that I don't believe steroids could have anything to do with.

Guess What?

It's amazing how a two word sentence can change in meaning so much with the passing of time.

Lately, when Elijah tells a story - and he tells a lot of them - he works in the phrase "guess what?" about fifteen times.

"Dad - today we were learning some new tricks at karate camp and guess what? We learned how to do a roundhouse kick into someone's chest and guess what? I kicked my friend Adam in the chest and guess what? He shot a foam dart into my eye and guess what? I cried and guess what? Sensei put Adam in timeout but I still gave him a dollar because he gave me his original flavor Goldfish that he didn't eat for lunch."

Breathe.

"Elijah, you kept asking me to guess what happened and then never let me guess!"

"What are you talking about, Dad?"

I think he thinks that "guess what" is not a question but just a segue into the next sentence.

"Dad - you gave me peanut butter for lunch today but guess what. I don't eat peanut butter during the WEEK anymore. OK? Do you understand? I only eat peanut butter on the WEEKENDS now, Dad. OK? From now on, please pack me cream cheese sandwiches for camp during the week. OK? You know why? Because GUESS WHAT? I am a cream cheese kid now, Dad, OK? "

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I have a vivid memory from when I was about eight years old. I was home late one afternoon when my Dad came home from work. He didn't look happy. Mom asked him what was wrong and Dad said, "Guess what?" Mom responded simply, "Don't tell me." Dad said, "OK, I won't tell you."

Sure enough, Dad was laid off.

It wasn't as funny then.

Kids can make ANY PHRASE funny.

"Dad - today at karate camp, my friend Stuart almost cut his finger off at the knuckle with nunchucks and guess what? He had to go to the hospital and get stitches and guess what? It was the grossest thing EVER. I think he needed a Band Aid. It sucks because I won't be able to kick his butt at PlayStation anymore. Guess what? He can't hold a controller when one of his fingers is busted off."

GUESS WHAT? Like you have not noticed!! There are sweeping changes going on here at the Basement. Please take the poll on the right hand side there and tell me what you think. There are more changes coming in the next few weeks. Guess it's the first mid-life change I am making.....

Toothless!!

Fantastic New Picture Slideshows!

It's been a crazy month!! We spent two weeks in NJ and then Candice came to Utah for the first time with Mick!! We had a great time. Click on the Borenstein Family Pictures to the right, choose one of the last two albums and click 'Slideshow' for some great memories!!!

The Time Has Come

Faint and nausea. These were the two things I was feeling around ten years ago when my age was clicking to THIRTY. The feelings are still so fresh in my mind today. My family tried to console me but they could not. I was devastated. It's funny because although I felt like I was getting old, I had no idea what the real reason for my feelings was....until now.

In approximately 48 minutes, I will turn forty years old.

In the weeks leading up to this night, I was waiting for the same feelings to come back. The faint and nausea. They still have not. I've been dealing with questions from concerned family and friends who remember how I was emotionally when I turned thirty. I've been answering them honestly.....I feel no different than yesterday! It's so strange.

So I began to wonder why this was. It didn't take me long to get it....

Becoming 40, here are the things that dominate my mind most often:

• How are my kids adjusting to life in Utah?
• How am I doing as the Director in my new branch office?
• What is my awesome wife making for dinner tonight?
• Should I wear brown pants or black pants today?
• Do I look fat in this shirt?

Becoming 30, here were the things that were dominating my mind most often:

• I am getting married in less than a year. How are we going to pay for it?
• My job sucks. I can't support a wife, let alone think about having kids.
• I live in a small apartment in Voorhees. I own virtually nothing.
• My car is 7 years old and breaking into pieces. Thank goodness I only drive an HOUR to work each way.
• I just cut off my beloved long hair....not for donation but because you could see the scalp under most of it. Even my pubes are thinning. I think it's all going to my back.
• I just asked my girlfriend to marry me and the only things in my name are a 7 year old car that is breaking into pieces, a new computer that I financed at 28% interest, some old baseball cards and a really cool Zebra picture that the band members signed in 1986. I am totally ready to get married.
• Do I look fat in this shirt?

You see the difference???

In approximately 35 minutes, I will turn 40 years old.

So how do I want to spend my last 35 minutes of my thirties? I am in NJ visiting the family. Hannah is staying at Bobe's tonight. Deb, Elijah and Sadie don't arrive until tomorrow close to midnight. I am alone at Mom's computer. It's actually kind of nice...reflecting my thoughts into the keyboard as the magic number approaches. 11:28. Maybe I'll type one reflection per minute for as the clock moves towards midnight. Naah. Too cliche.

30 minutes.

I am not the first person in my group of friends to hit 40. Gary turned the trick in January. His was a graceful and effortless transition. Evan pulled it off last month. His was not so graceful. He struggled for a few weeks but tonight he told me he's righted the ship and is back in full throttle.

Thing is, once you hit 40 - the next milestone is 50. I'll guarantee you this - if I DON'T feel faint and nausea at 50, I am going to have to ask the doctor to up my dose of Geritol and Viagra because I might be dead and not know it! How can I not feel ANYTHING right now???

It's funny how people try to make you feel better about the big 4-0 by saying things like, "Forty is the new twenty." I say, "Bite me." Forty is fucking forty. It's the old forty, the new forty, the future forty - IT'S FORTY.

Forty does not even translate into anything cool. When I think of the number 40, all I can come up with is:

• North Dallas Forty - that movie with Nick Nolte. Sucked.
• 40oz Pabst Blue Ribbon. Sucks.
• Steve Bedrosian wore #40. He sucked.
• I once paid $40 for a personal ad in the Jewish Exponent. I had seven dates and one of them had a brother that hit on me all night. That sucked.

I guess one cool thing is that I can join an over-40 softball league now. The games are shortened to five innings and instead of a t-shirt and cool trophy, you get ace bandages in your team's color, an oversized jock and cup and a Propetia trophy at the end.

20 minutes exactly until I turn 40.

Today I took a new employee in NJ out to lunch to welcome him to the company. In the car he asked if I grew up in Cherry Hill. Of course, I came back with my obligatory answer to the "where did you grow up" question, I said, "I have not grown up yet...I'll let you know when I do." Still gets laughs. Then I told him I went to Cherry Hill East Class of 1985 and he said, "1985? Wow! I was born in 1985."

The car skid to a complete stop and I demanded he get out of the car. Then I fired him.

Deb is going to call me at midnight. Elijah told me Happy Birthday a few hours ago on the phone and I told him that the next time I see him I will be 40. He said, "Wow Daddy. I'll be 7 and a half." Amazing how the young mind works.

15 minutes left.

I remember when Mom turned 40 and we had a surprise party for her at Nora's house in Middletown. I was 18. I can't remember exactly what I was thinking but I am sure it was something along the lines of, "Shit - that's old. When I'm 40 I am going to have 2.2 kids, a white picket fence and a cool Trans Am." I mean, how can an 18 year old kid picture his life twenty-two years down the line?? Impossible. I know one thing's for sure. I didn't say I would have three kids, be a Sales Director and be living in Utah. Wo. That would have been totally cool if I DID say that though...

Saturday night there will be the party of the year here. Some 75 people are coming to celebrate my turning forty. THAT'S ultra-cool. Or as Deb would say, "that's SUPER COOL." 75 people from all over are coming to celebrate with me!!! ME!! That just blows me away. My Aunt Rocky from Jamaica is here, my two cousins from Florida are coming, my Aunt from Long Island is coming. I think there are 20 friends and their spouses. It's an old-fashioned keg party with BBQ and beer. Just the way it should be.

6 minutes.

Maybe that's what life is all about, right? Maybe, when you break it all down and sift through all the extra stuff that's in there, it's BBQ, beer, and 75 of the greatest people in the world. What a perfect union. You just don't get better than that.

So thanks to each and every one of you out there for making my turning 40 so easy. I have the greatest wife in the world and the three most wonderful bundles of joy that I get to play with every day. I have the two best parents and best sister in the world. I've got the 20 most amazing friends ever and an amazing family that stretches the globe.

Oh, and I also got BBQ and beer to go with it.

40 is cool. I can say that now, because I am.

New Pictures Site is Operational!

Most of you will get an invitation e-mail tonight or tomorrow, but the NEW Borenstein Pictures Site is up and running!!

Click here to access the site OR you can always visit the site by clicking on the link in the sidebar on the right.

The site is VERY cool! Open an album to view the pictures AND videos contained within. You can also click on the slideshow option to see a very cool musical show with the pics and videos. You can also order pictures, download the slideshow and do other things as well!!

Check it out and let me know what you think!!!

What Happens in Vegas....

In 1997, a bunch of my friends met up in Las Vegas for our 30th birthday celebration. We gambled a little, ate a little, drank a little, saw a show or two and walked the strip. Real "average Joe's". We decided that we would do it again for our 40th birthdays and, lo and behold, this was the year.

Scott and Gary put the whole thing together and, believe me, they made sure that this time, we would not go as "average Joe's"....

Websters defines "decadent" as: "marked by excessive self-indulgence and moral decay". I think this describes the 4-day Vegas getaway just perfectly.

Now, I am not going to give much away because, well, you know....it's Vegas and all. However, I will toss some innocent pictures up and mention a few interesting facts from the weekend here.


The trip started with Gary flying in for his first taste of Salt Lake. He arrived on Wednesday night after a 4-hour delay and almost immediately went to sleep. We left town early on Thursday in the Audi and drove the six hours to Vegas. We had dubbed the drive "The Aural Ride to the Immoral Divide". I drove - Gary DJ'd. He chose loud music. No...let me rephrase it...he chose music that would drown out a 747 engine. We rocked for 6 hours to a playlist that Gary called "Greatest Hits from Our Past". We heard RATT, Judas Priest, Dio, Motley Crue, Zebra, Warrant and dozens of others...all at 11 on the volume rocker. "This one goes to 11."

By the time we hit Vegas, I was deaf and we both were anxious to check in....to the 10th floor of the Bellagio. For our 30th birthday trip, we were all content to stay at the Monte Carlo and eat at McDonalds. Now? The single most awesome hotel room I've ever stayed in. The first thing Scott told me was not to even BREATHE on the items in the wetbar because they charge you if the SENSOR activates. There were candy bars and other assorted goodies, all sitting on individual sensors. I have to admit, I did tempt fate...I flicked a Peanut Butter Twix on Friday night. I wonder if we were charged?

Gary had taken charge of booking us for dinner on the three nights. Asking Gary to book a couple simple dinners is like asking Donald Trump to build a simple casino. Gary started planning our reservations in November. He did 100 hours of research and even went as far as quizzing us about our food tastes. When all was said and done, he made a bold statement. He told me that dinner on the first night would be excellent, the second night would be fantastic and the third night would be one of the best meals I have ever had in my life. He was right on.

We had dinner on night #1 at Todd English's OLIVES right there in the Bellagio. By stupid luck, we landed a table directly on the edge of the outside eating area literally on top of the famed Bellagio fountains. You can see our table in this picture - it's the one at the umbrella on the far right.


It was an excellent meal of Chestnut Ravioli and a couple of bottles of wine.

Wine. When Gary was in high school and college, he would not care to even be in the same ROOM with wine. It's his passion now. He studies the winelist for several minutes, makes his selection, swirls the fluid in his mouth for 15 seconds and then happily nods to the waiter, as if to say, "Yes, I will donate $100 to your establishment for the privilege of being able to consume some of this grape concoction." It's insane. 10 years ago, we were ordering Diet Coke and Big Macs. This time, $100 bottles of wine and Potato Crusted Dover Sole. What's happened to us?


I am not much of a gambler. As a matter of fact, I hate it. I did manage to find a game that I enjoyed in Vegas, though. It's Pai-Gow Poker. Click for an explanation. It's a slow death. Instead of losing $2oo in 15 minutes at the Blackjack table, you can lose the same $200 playing $10 Pai-Gow in two hours. Gambling is one thing in life that feels better when getting tortured slowly. I lost $180 for the weekend but I enjoyed it.

Dinner on night #2 was at FIX. It's a trendy place in Bellagio with an extensive winelist. My choice was Seabass in a lobster broth. Just typing that out here cost money. I don't usually order a $38 main course. Come to think of it, I don't think I have EVER done that before. It was worth it. We celebrated Sandy's big announcement that he was accepting a job at Northwestern in Chicago. Sandy popped the cork on another $100 bottle of something fruity and we toasted. I am telling you I had more wine in 4 days in Vegas than I have EVER had combined in 39 years of life. No joke!


Gary, Sandy and I toured a number of casinos on the strip during the days and, every 15 minutes or so, one of us would utter a phrase that we used to say in 1983. We made absolutely NO SENSE and if someone were to have recorded our conversation, we would probably we suspected of being terrorists using some made-up language....

"Jawdy, I loff ya Jawdy"

"That's sweet. Smob, OK?"

"Heinshkablinka. Jordashio peppermint stick"

"That's it. I'm going to beat'n the shit'n outta you'tn"

Basically, that means "I'm hungry, wanna go get a $400 bottle of wine and some creme brulee?"

The final dinner on night #3 was something I will never forget. Unfortunately, Sandy was not feeling well and could only sip on ice water at Tableau, the signature restaurant at the only 5 star rated resort in Vegas - the Wynn. Wow. Just. Wow.

My appetizer was so good, I had to take a picture. It was the single best tasting appetizer I have ever consumed. Yellowtail sashimi with warm olive oil drizzled on it. Just friggin WOW.


My main course was the aforementioned Dover Sole and I swallowed that down with TWO $100 bottles of the best red wine EVER. Even Gary was in agreement. Dessert was a coconut sorbet that was phenomenal.

Gary was right. It was one of the most incredible meals of my life....maybe the best. Nice job, Gary. Even Bradley, who was whining earlier on about these dinners, loved it.

Sandy recovered and was the first one to leave on Sunday morning. Gary and Scott left at the same time I got in my car to drive the six hour journey home. Just like that, it was over.

It was a weekend I will never forget. Thanks guys, for completely removing me from my everyday life and transporting me to another world for four days. You are the best friends in the world. See you at 50 in the Penthouse at Wynn.......

I'm Alive!!!

OK OK....quiet down. So it's been awhile. Well, you are going to have to wait longer because I am waiting to post until I return from my 4 day jaunt to Vegas with the boys this weekend. We leave tomorrow and return on Sunday. It's our 40th birthday trip. It's Vegas - so NO QUESTIONS PLEASE!!

Actually, I just loved the penis bit from last post so I wanted to leave it up there as long as possible.

We had Bobe and Zeide and Carlos and Perla here for a couple of days last month and had a wonderful time. Pictures soon. You may have noticed that the pictures link is not operational to the right at this time. It's because I didn't like Kodak Gallery enough to sign up for a second year so I will be posting a new link for new pics soon - most likely on Flickr.

We are set for the big Jersey trip for 2 weeks in June!! My 40th birthday party is on the 9th - invites were sent out this week. It's an old-fashioned KEG party! It will be a blast!!

So that's all for now. Cool pics and stuff next week. Thanks for checking in!

1st Graders Can Read

So Deb was having some fun one day and sent me a graphic to my cellphone that said "I Love My Penis" only the word 'Love' was actually a heart. You know the kind. I thought it was hysterical and kept it in the memory of my phone.

This past Tuesday, I took Elijah to the Utah Jazz game with my friend Jonathan and his son Brennan. During the car drive home, I decided to show Jonathan the picture. Forgetting Elijah could read - even from the back seat - I pulled the picture onto the screen of my phone and held it up for Jonathan. We had a laugh and continued the drive home.

Fifteen minutes later, I heard a conversation starting from the backseat...

Elijah: Hey Brennan...

Brennan: Yes, Elijah.

Elijah: Guess what?

Brennan: What Elijah?

Elijah: My dad loves his penis.

Is that wrong?

Coward Isaac

OK...see if you can follow along....

Hannah goes to Buttons & Bows every day for preschool. Several months ago, she started talking about a boy that went there as well. She said his name was 'Coward Isaac'.

Every day, Hannah would come home and talk about how she played all day with Coward Isaac and how he was her best friend. Just for fun I always asked Hannah what he was so scared of. She didn't get it.

In any case, believe it or not, the boy's name is not Coward Isaac at all. It's Isaac Howard. Close, right?

Anyway, Isaac and his family happen to belong to the synagogue and Deb knows his family well. I got to meet him recently and he's quite the cutie, with a head of red hair and an amazing affection for Hannah.

About a month ago, Hannah began saying how she's going to marry Coward Isaac. "I'm going to marry him, Daddy. 'Cause he loves me and I love him."

Interesting, at 3.5 years old....Deb and I thought it was adorable. Every day at dinner..."I am going to marry Coward Isaac."

Eventually, Hannah got the name right. Still, she was going to marry Isaac Howard. THEN, one fateful day in February, Hannah told us that Isaac Howard was hanging out with ANOTHER girl and he planned on marrying BOTH Hannah and this new girl.

Not on my watch!!

I told Hannah that she should stand her ground. It was either Hannah alone or she was out of the picture. I'll give Coward Isaac something to be scared about!!

So...she did! She told Isaac Howard that if he didn't just go out with her, then Hannah would not marry him and would break up with him.

Guess what? She broke up with him!

Here's the kicker...

The 'other woman'??

Isaac Howard's GRANDMOTHER.

Yes, Isaac Howard has decided to marry his grandmother.

Hannah has not lost any sleep though. She's going to marry Brennan now.

Spring in Utah

I'll let the pictures do the talking today. Here are Hannah's first soccer game, Sadie's new hairdo and our first day in the beautiful Utah spring. Enjoy!!!

Utahlogy

There are many differences living here in Utah and living in New Jersey. That's putting is lightly. Many of these differences are evident every single day. Some, only once in awhile. One of the more prevalent differences is the nightly news. I've said over and over again since we've been here (over 11 months now!) that the nightly news is like watching Oprah or Regis. It's mostly human interest stories with an occasional hard news story thrown in. Newspeople wear jeans on Fridays and spend most of the newscast engaged in smalltalk. Why? Because there just is not a lot going on that is really newsworthy.

You probably heard by now that there was a horrible mall shooting here in Salt Lake earlier this week. Some loony walked into a mall with a shotgun and killed five people before the police gunned him down in a clothing store. It was national news. My dad called me while watching Jim Gardner on Channel 6 after hearing the news. UTAH HAD A MURDER!!!

This mall massacre was the single worst massacre in Salt Lake history. Five people dead. SINGLE WORST MASSACRE in Salt Lake history! That would not make the Top 1,000 in Philadelphia. New York? Ah, probably page 10 news. It's funny how my friends and family reacted. One of my friends sent me an e-mail that read, "What kind of town did you move to where someone shoots five people dead!!!" I responded, very simply, "at least Rabbis don't have their wives killed here."

Fact is, it's easy living in Utah. With such a low crime rate and such great climate, it makes people happier. There's less doom and gloom here. And, for someone like me, that's a real good thing. It's more compatible with me.

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Uggh...Now that I am posting this I am realizing that my mother will probably read this and immediately call me. "Are you ever coming home?" RELAX MOM!!! The plan is still to return at some point. :-) (gotta love Jewish mothers....they make you put disclaimers in blog posts..)

Life is a Highway

I look up...and it's the end of January. What a month!! Let's see if I can recap everything here with the help of some pics.

An Uninvited Guest
The month began with a furry creature roaming our living room. Jerry the Mouse. Deb discovered him one morning at 6am and they heard the screams in Cherry Hill. I came running and watched Jerry run laps around the perimeter of the living room, up the cables and onto the TV stand, then back down the cables and around the room again. Nice. Set traps - go to work. What is the absolute worst thing that can happen when returning home to check the traps six hours later? A mouse trapped in every one? Think again. That's right.....nothing. Empty traps, quiet house...no Jerry. Gone. The exterminator came and placed poison bait in some strategic places in the house. If Jerry ate the bait, he would eventually die peacefully but, chances are, we would not discover him. In any case, after a few nights of six empty peanut butter traps, we decided that Jerry either left our house because there was no food, or ate the poison bait and died somewhere we could not find him. We have not seen a trace of him since.

Glevan

Evan visited us for the first time this month. The kids gave him a new nickname, Glevan, because saying 'Uncle Evan' quickly sounds like Glevan. One of the activities that we planned for Evan's visit was a trip about ten miles up the mountain to the Holliday Gun Range. Yes, I was going shooting. This was no ordinary shooting, though. One of my neighbors makes a living training law enforcement employees how to shoot. He owns a lot of guns. I don't mean regular guns....no - I mean, well as he puts it, "the fun stuff." The three of us drove to the range and, in ten degree weather, proceeded to take turns shooting a 22, revolver, glock, 9mm, and half a dozen other automatic weapons. I shot some weapons that were worth $25K apiece. For someone who had never even touched a gun previously, here I was shooting automatic weapons at ice targets in the Wasatch Mountains. I was good too! Now, three weeks later, Glevan still has an erection from that shooting session. For me, it was not that big a deal. However, I got some cool pics!!!

Mick Hadar Goldstein!
I traveled to New Jersey with Sadie last week and got to spend my first bit of quality time with my nephew MICK!!! He is such a joyful little guy, so innocent and happy. He spent more time smiling than not and, without prior knowledge of what he's been through, you would have no clue! We bonded for sure. It was sad to leave but something tells me he will remember me when we meet again this June.





Isabel Skye Coleman Day two of my New Jersey trip took Sadie and I to West Virginia to attend the baby naming for my neice Isabel. The family got to see Sadie for the first time since October and she had a great time!!! Isabel is gorgeous!




Elijah's Big Day
This Thursday, Elijah was presented with the Principal's Pride award at school for excellence at Math and Reading! The Principal of his school called him up, spoke about his achievements and handed him his award. He also won a certificate for free ice cream and free dinner at a local restaurant! We are so proud of our boy!!!!


So that brings us to the present! Next week, Deb is headed to New Jersey with Sadie to see the family and celebrate Amy's 30th birthday.

Have a good weekend everyone!!!

2007

Happy New Year everyone!! I know it's cliche, but 2006 really did fly by. It felt like half a year to me. I just cannot believe that...

• It's been over a year since we sold our house in Cherry Hill
• We have lived in Utah for nine months
• Elijah is SEVEN years old
• Hannah is 3.5 years old
• Sadie is over one!!
• I am going to be 40 in 6 months

OK, that last one almost made me toss my Subway Tuna sandwich. Truth is, all of the boys will be turning 40 this year. I won't get into my personal feelings about all that...yet. I am sure I will blog about it as the day gets closer.

For now, the schedule is packed for the first half of 2007 already.

• Uncle EVAN is coming in for four days this month!
• I am travelling to NJ with Sadie for business and pleasure from the 20th through the 24th of this month.
• Deb is travelling to NJ with Sadie a few weeks later to hand with family for a few days.
• We are waiting to hear if Liz and Alex will be making an adventure to Utah in February!
• We are meeting my parents in Vegas for a four day jaunt in March. We will be driving there with the kiddies through Southern Utah which should be beautiful!
• April brings Bobe and Zeide back to Utah along with Carlos and Perla!!
• May seems rather quiet for now...anyone wanna change that?
• June brings a big trip to NJ with the whole family for a visit that includes my 40th birthday bash at Mom's on June 9th! You are all invited!!!

Tonight I am attending my first Utah Jazz game. It's against my beloved 76'ers so I will be cheering for my boys! Virtually every Jazz game is a sellout but I just saw on the website that there are 'plenty of tickets' available for this one. Guess the Sixers ain't quite the draw they once were...

We just had a record month here at Marlin Leasing Western Division and things are looking up, up, up!!!

Quick kids update...

Elijah has his next belt test on January 20th in karate. He is going for his orange/yellow belt!! He is really the karate master now and we are thinking about the all-day camp for this summer for him. It's called 'Kickin' Kids Camp'.

Hannah wants to take ballet. She knows all the words to The Little Mermaid song 'Part of Your World' and it's the friggin cutest thing EVER.

Sadie just wants to go everywhere she's not supposed to go and touch everything she's not supposed to touch. You can say it's cute. I say IT'S ANNOYING AS HELL. However, she's so damn cute that's it becomes OK.

Deb had her office redesigned this week and has a brand new desk and everything. Now she's working in style!!

Here's some news for y'all. The Utah Borensteins have been selected to appear in Salt Lake Magazine's Hanukkah special for 2007. The photo shoot is next Saturday night. They are re-creating a Hanukkah party and taking lots of pics! We are not sure when the feature is running but Salt Lake Magazine has a readership of 168,000 and is Salt Lake's biggest monthly magazine! We are famous!!

We spent a quiet New Year's with our friends, the Cohens. The kids played and we drank a bottle of Stoli Raspberry. :-)

Happy New Year everyone. More pictures coming soon!!!