Well, the clan just returned from a sunny week in South Florida. We were there for seven days primarily to attend the festivities of Adam and Trudy's wedding. We got to hang out with a ton of family and it was a wonderful week!! The kids loved being with eachother and it was sad to go at the end. Elijah and Josh were like long lost buddies and the same with Hannah and Arianna.
We hung out on Carlos and Perla's deck for hours, took an amazing boat ride and, of course, attended the wedding. It was an outdoor affair that nearly got flooded out with torrential rains. However, just about thirty minutes before the first prayers were said, the rains stopped and the amazing crew dried up the area and we had a sunny wedding! Hannah was a flower girl and Elijah was one of the ring bearers - along with Joshie. They were spectacular, as you are about to see.
Some of my observations about the trip - in no particular order....
- Everyone in Miami is pissed off. Literally. We went to the Mens Warehouse tuxedo rental store in the mall to pick up our tuxedos. You would have thought the woman at the counter was being forced to violate her own sister or something. She threw around the tuxes, answered our questions with one or two words, and treated Brian like a second class citizen when he asked about a problem with Joshie's tux. I had similar experiences at the Macy's buying socks and at the Walgreens buying a frigging magazine.
- I think I got cut-off by drivers in Miami 419 times in seven days. WHATEVER! People speed up in the convertable Bentleys just so you can't make it off the exit ramp.
- Miami has more square footage of LEG than anywhere in the world. The woman in Miami have legs that go on forever. Honestly, I thought that some of them didn't have a crotch at all. There was a foot in a heel, an ankle, and calf, several feet up there was a knee, then a shiny thigh, then a few ruffles that made up the bottom of the mini-skirt, or should I say, MICRO skirt, and then a BELT. Several inches above the belt there was a belly button and then a mass of silicone followed by a bronzed neck with tatoos and a head. NO ASS. They skipped the whole area that makes up most people's tuchus and hoo-ha. Nada. Makes me wonder where they put it! For an ass man like me, I wasn't all that impressed.
- Business is done way different in Miami. Perfect example - gas was generally $3,25 a gallon everywhere I noticed. When I went to return the car to Hertz, there was ONE gas station within a mile or so. The price? $3,49 per gallon. Sleazy.
- The Miami nights in the springtime are absolutely brilliant. The sunset is incredible and the breeze off the water is heavenly. I could have sat on that deck all night, every night.
- Carlos and Perla were fantastic hosts. We felt totally taken care of the entire time we were there. The BBQ was insane, we got to have Perla's famous flan, and got to spend time in the magnificent massage chair in their living room. Hannah especially liked the leg massage as you will see in the video.
We didn't bring a single diaper with us to Miami!! Sadie is in panties all day and pull-ups at night. For the last few days, she's had a dry pull-up in the mornings too!! We are going shopping for bunk beds this weekend - the crib will soon be gone forever!!
We had a magnificent time in Miami. Thanks again to Carlos and Perla for your hospitality - we love you very much! Congrats to Adam and Trudy, currently on a two week jaunt in Europe. Love to all our family - it was great to see everyone - especially our nieces and nephews!! Gordie, Zac, Brandon and THE ROCK - we love you and it was great seeing you!! Lauren, Jessie, Joshie, Ari, DD, and Izzy!!! See y'all in Jersey in July!!!
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1 comment:
Everyone knows they are a-holes at the Miami Macy's, Walgreens and Men's Warehouse.
Seriously, funny stuff, Jord.
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