HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GREATEST BOY IN THE WORLD!
Elijah turns FOUR today!! WE LOVE YOU!!
We are moving on Monday.
Yesterday, my sister asked me how packing was going. I told her, "Did you ever get a colonoscopy performed using a spiked, molten hot metal poker with no sedation?"
Get the picture?
Give me root canal on 15 teeth. Give me a pierced scrotum with a 10 pound dumbell. Pour rubbing alcohol in my eyes and clamp my nipples to dental floss and hang me from the church steeple. JUST DON'T MAKE ME PACK!
That felt good.
Now back to work.
Thursday, December 11, 2003
Wednesday, December 03, 2003
Packing a Few Boxes or Getting Violated by a Hot Metal-Spiked Poker
I am not liking this. I am NOT liking this at all. I am packing. Boxes. Hundreds of freaking boxes. We are moving on the 15th and, all of a sudden, my "too small" house is now the size of Neverland. There are boxes everywhere and some of them are full, some are empty and some are halfway...uggh. WHAT TO DO NEXT?
We hired movers. That's cool but I should have hired a packer. Ew. That did NOT sound good. It's just that you find so much stuff you never knew you had. It's like cleaning out the fridge and finding 6 month old string beans that just magically appeared in there. You know? Imagine finding those string beans, throwing them out and then finding them AGAIN in there 2 weeks later. You get the idea.
So Elijah's birthday party is this Saturday at the Aquarium. It's a small affair this year. These parties can get expensive! I mean, it's not like we are moving into a house and seeing our mortgage payment go up $800 per month or anything. Uggh. Another string bean moment. It's also not like we can say to Elijah, "This year, sweetie, we are going to pass on a birthday party for you so we can move into our new HOUSE." Yeah. OK. That will go over like a fart in church. Sooooo...we gotsta get the party started in this beeotch.
Have you seen the new show on TLC called 'Clean Sweep'? That's our life right now. Trying to decide what goes in the keep pile versus the trash pile. Hey, if it was up to me, everything would go in the trash pile. BUT - nooooooooo....Deb has to KEEP the candlesticks from 1984 because there is a piece of melted wax in one of them that carries a resemblance of her old best friends face. Pack rats: can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em.
Are you invited to our annual New Years Bash?? Did you get the evite? If you did not, it was because I was ignoring you and do NOT want you here.
Just kidding.
If you did not receive the evite, please harrass me and call me names. I will send you one right away.
So what's new with YOU?
I am not liking this. I am NOT liking this at all. I am packing. Boxes. Hundreds of freaking boxes. We are moving on the 15th and, all of a sudden, my "too small" house is now the size of Neverland. There are boxes everywhere and some of them are full, some are empty and some are halfway...uggh. WHAT TO DO NEXT?
We hired movers. That's cool but I should have hired a packer. Ew. That did NOT sound good. It's just that you find so much stuff you never knew you had. It's like cleaning out the fridge and finding 6 month old string beans that just magically appeared in there. You know? Imagine finding those string beans, throwing them out and then finding them AGAIN in there 2 weeks later. You get the idea.
So Elijah's birthday party is this Saturday at the Aquarium. It's a small affair this year. These parties can get expensive! I mean, it's not like we are moving into a house and seeing our mortgage payment go up $800 per month or anything. Uggh. Another string bean moment. It's also not like we can say to Elijah, "This year, sweetie, we are going to pass on a birthday party for you so we can move into our new HOUSE." Yeah. OK. That will go over like a fart in church. Sooooo...we gotsta get the party started in this beeotch.
Have you seen the new show on TLC called 'Clean Sweep'? That's our life right now. Trying to decide what goes in the keep pile versus the trash pile. Hey, if it was up to me, everything would go in the trash pile. BUT - nooooooooo....Deb has to KEEP the candlesticks from 1984 because there is a piece of melted wax in one of them that carries a resemblance of her old best friends face. Pack rats: can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em.
Are you invited to our annual New Years Bash?? Did you get the evite? If you did not, it was because I was ignoring you and do NOT want you here.
Just kidding.
If you did not receive the evite, please harrass me and call me names. I will send you one right away.
So what's new with YOU?
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