HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GREATEST BOY IN THE WORLD!

Elijah turns FOUR today!! WE LOVE YOU!!

We are moving on Monday.

Yesterday, my sister asked me how packing was going. I told her, "Did you ever get a colonoscopy performed using a spiked, molten hot metal poker with no sedation?"

Get the picture?

Give me root canal on 15 teeth. Give me a pierced scrotum with a 10 pound dumbell. Pour rubbing alcohol in my eyes and clamp my nipples to dental floss and hang me from the church steeple. JUST DON'T MAKE ME PACK!

That felt good.

Now back to work.

Packing a Few Boxes or Getting Violated by a Hot Metal-Spiked Poker

I am not liking this. I am NOT liking this at all. I am packing. Boxes. Hundreds of freaking boxes. We are moving on the 15th and, all of a sudden, my "too small" house is now the size of Neverland. There are boxes everywhere and some of them are full, some are empty and some are halfway...uggh. WHAT TO DO NEXT?

We hired movers. That's cool but I should have hired a packer. Ew. That did NOT sound good. It's just that you find so much stuff you never knew you had. It's like cleaning out the fridge and finding 6 month old string beans that just magically appeared in there. You know? Imagine finding those string beans, throwing them out and then finding them AGAIN in there 2 weeks later. You get the idea.

So Elijah's birthday party is this Saturday at the Aquarium. It's a small affair this year. These parties can get expensive! I mean, it's not like we are moving into a house and seeing our mortgage payment go up $800 per month or anything. Uggh. Another string bean moment. It's also not like we can say to Elijah, "This year, sweetie, we are going to pass on a birthday party for you so we can move into our new HOUSE." Yeah. OK. That will go over like a fart in church. Sooooo...we gotsta get the party started in this beeotch.

Have you seen the new show on TLC called 'Clean Sweep'? That's our life right now. Trying to decide what goes in the keep pile versus the trash pile. Hey, if it was up to me, everything would go in the trash pile. BUT - nooooooooo....Deb has to KEEP the candlesticks from 1984 because there is a piece of melted wax in one of them that carries a resemblance of her old best friends face. Pack rats: can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em.

Are you invited to our annual New Years Bash?? Did you get the evite? If you did not, it was because I was ignoring you and do NOT want you here.

Just kidding.

If you did not receive the evite, please harrass me and call me names. I will send you one right away.

So what's new with YOU?

You Can Take the Country Club out of the Man, but you Can't Take the Man Out of the Country Club

The Borenstein Family is MOVING!! I am so freakin happy!! We sold our house on Lark Lane and are moving to our new digs.....1/2 a mile away. That's right - we are going to set up shop at 413 Country Club Drive....just a dozen houses or so from the house I grew up in. It's EXCITING!! Actually, it's not even 100% official yet because we are in attorney review. It's official on Friday though and we will be celebrating!! December 15th is the date! The house is a dream for us and we plan on staying there for a very looong time!!

More details to follow...just wanted to share the good news!!!

J

Time Machine

Sometimes you just have to drop everything and be a kid again. When you have kids of your own and you are under constant time schedules for months on end....once in awhile, you just have to say...well...you know.

This past weekend, five of my best friends from high school convened on Atlantic City for a weekend of gambling, eating, gambling, eating and eating. They stayed at the Taj Mahal for 2 nights, comped of course, and dropped a few bucks at just about every casino on the boardwalk and even hit the marina for a few hours. I joined them on Saturday afternoon and stayed with them until 1am that night. Folks, if you ever have the opportunity to "go back" even if its just for 8 hours, DO IT.

Allen Frankel is taller than before, either that or I am fatter, or both. He and I spent an hour waiting for Duran Duran to emerge from the Borgata elevator so they could play blackjack at three roped off tables on the casino floor. They didn't show and we had to leave before we caught a glimpse of them. Deb was mad because I didn't get a picture of John Taylor. I told her she had enough pictures of him in boxes with scotch tape that used to secure them to her bedroom walls. Big Al is still a goofball and it was great to see him.

Mike Weinberg was...Mike Weinberg. After complaining that I didn't give him any props in my post to the Cherry Hill East Class of '85 message board...ugh...we got into our usual conversation about Night Ranger and he tried to convince me that Journey and Def Leppard define music history. Then I watched as hundreds of dollars left and entered his wallet time and time and time again. I love watching Mike gamble. It's like watching the Kentucky Derby - fast and furious for 2 minutes and then its over.

Brad Scher taught me how to play Paigow poker and I won $70. Thanks Beej. Brad is still one of a kind. His mood is ALWAYS the same - no mood swings like the rest of us humans. Level headed and relaxed as can be. I miss him - too bad we don't get together often. Still wondering if he ever hooked up with Lisa Washington...hmmmm..

Scott Turer was packing heat as always. Scottie has not changed a bit. Flashy yet sophisticated. The guy has more money than dirt and lets you know it but he is still as grounded as ever. One of the best guys in the world - my mother thinks he should be knighted. He lives so damn far away - Pittsburgh - and we don't get to hang out enough.

Gary Vincoff is still the best friend a guy could have. You wanna know what "real" is? Talk to Gary. NO BS, no cutting the corners, no beating around the bush. I like spending time with Gary because he can see things the way I see them. He's not superficial like so many Cherry Hill products. I am glad he's not moving to New Hampshire. Watching Gary get beat while gambling is a treat though and I am looking forward to watching him lose again soon. Gary makes losing fun.....for everyone around him. It's a sight to behold.

So that's that...we ate at the White House (awesome) and ate at the Hard Rock and ate some ice cream too. We gambled in between and shot the shit the whole time. It was a great trip in the time machine....

So it's back to 2003....strange, isn't it?

Rolling Over

OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD!!!! You are NEVER going to believe this!!! Are you sitting down?? OK...OK...OK...OK...are you ready for this INCREDIBLE NEWS? Brace yourself... take a deep breath!!!! OK OK OK...here we go...HANNAH ALMOST ROLLED OVER!

what? You were waiting for something more relevant? How can there be something more relevant than that??? She came soooo close!!! She's almost there!! I swear!! Soon, she will be rolling ALL OVER THE PLACE!! I am so proud.

Uggh. What is the big deal??? I mean really. ROLLING OVER?? WHO THE HECK CARES? I am stuggling to understand why mothers call up their entire address book to report to everyone that their child ROLLED OVER!! Baffles me. Now now...before you all attack my insensitivity....I am all about documenting and broadcasting events in my children's lives. Things like WALKING and TALKING are newsworthy.

"Hey MOM, guess what??? You are not going to believe this...HANNAH POOPED SOLID today! FIRST TIME!!! How adorable!!! I just wanted to squeeze her I was so proud! Not only that - get this - she also didn't spit up ONCE all day!!! Awwwwww..."

So while Hannah is busy rolling over, Elijah is learning to use reason in his daily conversations. For instance, we will say, "black and white animal" and he will say "zebra." We will say "orange dinner" and he will say "Mac and cheese." We will say, "underwear" and he will say, "no pee pee!!"

So, if you have not gotten the message yet...Hannah is almost rolling over. Be sure to tell your aunts, uncles and your bosses wife. If you forget, it will be on the evening news tonight at 11.

Love you all!!!

dad

Old Friends

Those who know me are well aware of my love affair with music. As a young person I was hooked by the melodies of the Beatles and became addicted to pop music. In high school, it was hard rock and heavy metal. Over the past ten years or so, I've become a big fan of the progressive rock/metal genre and concentrate more on lyrics than on melody. One of my most recent purchases is the new double-CD by Neal Morse. It's called Testimony. I've been a big fan of Morse for several years as the lead singer/songwriter of one of my favorite bands, Spock's Beard. Last year, he left the band for religious reasons. He had become a Christian and felt he had to leave and work on his relationship with God. Anyway, I was upset at the time but I've gotten over it. In any case, Morse just released this auto-biographical CD that is heavy on the religious side but so stunningly beautiful that I became hooked instantly. The reason why I'm telling you about this is coming...hang with me! There is a side project of mine that will be reviewing CD's online. It's called Pick Your Noise and it will be up and running soon. I did this because people are always asking me about my musical taste because most of the stuff I am into is foreign to them. So look for the site soon. ANYWAY...back to the story...

The first track on the Testimony CD is "The Land of Beginning Again." The lyrics talk about going back in time...

"I wish there was a way to start again. Just blink and count to ten. In the land of beginning again. Where no one knows the bad things that you've done. The past is truly gone. In the land of beginning again."

I've been listening to this a lot lately and thinking a lot about it. Then, yesterday, I get an e-mail from my old friend Lou. I have not been in contact with Louie in 6 years. We were tight in college at West Chester University. After graduation in 1990, we kinda went our separate ways. He's in Willow Grove still and works as a high school science teacher. Anyway, it was so good to hear from him and the effect was greater because of all this "stuff" in my mind from listening to Morse's CD. Sound strange? It's amazing what effect music can have in my life. Anyway, I am looking forward to getting together with Lou soon and talking about old times - going back to the land of beginning again.

Where have you BEEN?

I've been scolded. I am sorry!! It's been way too long. 20 days? My goodness...where has the time gone? Well...a lot's gone on so I'll take you through what's been happening in our lives these past few weeks...

Deb left her job at Keebler/Kellogs. The 40 mile commute each way was becoming a burden and the job was not all that challenging to Deb anymore. She wanted more time with the kids and a job that gave her more personal joy. She got it. She's accepted a position as Database Manager for the Jewish Federation of South Jersey. She started last week and she loves it! She's a mile from home and has 2 more hours each day to be with the kids and just RELAX! She is planning to continue her education in the spring as well. I like it because I have a happy wife! Of course...there is the 60% paycut she took to make the move...hey...sometimes you have to do things for reasons OTHER than money. You gotta be happy where it counts - and that does NOT always mean your wallet. I am proud of her. Send her an e-mail!



I got promoted. I took the position of Assistant Branch Manager with my company. The promotion is effective October 1 and essentialy means my life as I've known it is gone. My basic job description is sales management related and I still have to maintain a considerable book of business. All of this means long hours and an adjustable lifestyle. This is another reason why I am glad Deb took this new job. It allows me to stay late in the office 5 days a week if I need to and give me total flexibility to do whatever I need to do to at work. My company is going public next month so it's chaos around there!! Check us out on NASDAQ (MRLN) after October's IPO!! It's exciting!! I was employee #35 here in 1998 and now we are going public 5 years later with 300 employees. Very cool! Anyway, it's all good. My new job duties will be tough and are the reason why I have not written here recently. I'll post the announcement here around October 1.

Some other cool stuff going on.....

My sister and her hubby bought a house in Haddon Heights and they are moving in October. I guess that means a neice or nephew is not far away!

Elijah is liking his new school but Deb has a steep discount at the JCC now with her new position and it's tempting to put Elijah back at the JCC. We are thinking about doing that. Either way, he is going to be attending the JCC Camps at Medford next summer!! Am I getting old?

Hannah is awesome. She sleeps quietly through the night and is smiling just about all the time she is awake. Elijah is madly in love with her still and is very protective and very mushy with her.

So you can see...we have fuller lives now and time to relax has to be planned! Time will do wonders, though, because we will fall into a comfortable routine and will be able to manage our lives better. For now, please excuse the infrequent posts and keep in touch with me through e-mail!

.

More pictures are going up this week at the goodies site and I hope to post some classic Elijah stories soon as well. There is one every day. OK...here's one for you...yesterday in the car, Deb was taking Elijah to his favorite restaurant, McDonalds. They were going through the drive through and Deb wanted Elijah to try something DIFFERENT for a change. She asked him if he wanted a hamburger. Elijah said, "No thanks." So Deb asked him why. "They make me SICK."

Love you all!!!

dad

Sleeping in the Wet Spot

Elijah was potty trained in February of this year. Those of you who got the Deuce Daily probably remember the Potty Bootcamp story. Anyway, he's been generally good for the past 6 months. An occasional "oops" at night, but mostly good. Recently, he's been waiting until the absolute last second before screaming, "I have to go potty!!!" His body stiffens up and one of us has to burn rubber to grab him and literally throw him on the toilet so he does not mess himself. It's become ritual for us. We have been teaching him in recent weeks to not wait so long before he tells us. Just either go potty by yourself or tell us BEFORE it's too late. He is still struggling with that.

Usually, he wakes up once at night (between 2 and 3am) and calls me to take him potty. I don't mind because I know the alternative is him waking up in the morning soaked in pee pee. I usually don't remember taking him in the middle of the night because it's so quick and easy that I hardly wake up (neither does he).

Lately, there have been several times when he just does not wake up at night and ends up wet. He's three years old and I'm not going to sweat it much but his response to me has been interesting. These last few times, as I am changing his wet PJ's, when I ask him what happened, his says to me, "Daddy, I don't want to talk about it now." It's very cute when he says it. He uses a low voice and makes the sad face. It's almost like he feels humiliated! I just tell him, "We don't have to talk about it now sweetie. It's OK." Then I give him a hug and tell him I love him. What else can I do? I mean, if he were 6 and this was happening, I would probe further. He's only 3!!

Funny thing is that I keep picturing him at age 14 after getting a 'D' on his report card. I ask him why that happened and he says, "Dad, I don't want to talk about it right now."

Brainfarts for August 29, 2003

People have been asking me why I am not posting more frequently here and I always tell them that I wait for an event that's worthy of writing about and then do. If things are quiet and the kids are not doing something funny or worthy of writing about here, then I usually don't do anything. Well...that is changing today with a segment I am calling Brainfarts. These are random thoughts, musings and observations of mine that come along every so often. I'm not really sure what my motivation is for thinking about them but, what the heck, I'll throw them out there and see if I get any feedback.

Why do kids always want what they can't have? I take Elijah and Hannah to Melissa's house every morning. Elijah likes to eat cereal in the car on the way there. We have 47 boxes of cereal lined up in the pantry. I tell him he can have ANY cereal he wants EXCEPT Rice Krispies and Fruity Pebbles. Why? Because they are so small that they mess up my car. I don't want to clean Pebbles out of my car every morning. So, what happens? "I WANT RICE KRISPIES!"

"Elijah, I told you, we have 65 boxes of cereal here. There are TWO that you cannot have."

"Daddy - I want FRUITY PEBBLES."

You get the picture. 99% of the time, he ends up with a baggie of Cheerios. Everyone is happy in the end.

__________

Why are doughnuts bad for you? WHO SET THIS RULE??? I demand to speak with this person in his/her office immediately!!! Doughnuts are not only healthy - they are their own FOOD GROUP! They are right in the middle of that silly Food Pyramid-triangle-grid thingy that everyone is supposed to follow. 2 fruits, 2 starches, 2 protein, 2 dairy and FOUR DOUGNUTS per day. That's what we are supposed to be eating. Dammit. Why do they put me through this aggravation?

___________

I love fat people. I really do. I've been kinda-one all my life. I hold no bad feelings towards fat people at all. I just wish some of them would learn how to dress better.

___________

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL????

Penis

You're smiling. Guaranteed. WHY?? I just don't get it. Why is the word penis so damn funny? It's one of those words that was funny when you were 3 years old and it's just as funny when you are 63. Elijah sings this song with us called "Willaby Wallaby" sometimes. You may have heard of it. Anyway...it goes "Willaby Wallaby _______, an elephant sat on ______." You fill in the blanks with people's names. So let's say we did Hannah. You change the first letter of the name to a 'W' in the first line. So it's, "Willaby Wallaby Wannah, an elephant sat on Hannah." You get the idea. "Willaby Wallaby Wordan, an elephant sat on Jordan." Anyway, it gets funny as you go along. Well, recently, Elijah has this thing with using the word penis in the song. "Willaby Wallaby wenis, an elephant sat on penis." Of course, this is followed by bellowing laughter by all of us. Why is the word penis so funny??? I mean, a three year old has no idea why it's there, other than to go pee pee, right? We go in the shower sometimes and Elijah points to mine and says, "I see your PENIS!!" I just don't get it. Well, hey, at least he admits to seeing it. The words 'leg' or 'arm' or 'foot' just don't make people laugh. Go into a crowded room and say the word 'penis' and people start gagging with laughter. I think the only other word that has the same effect is 'tushy'. Willabee wallaby wushy, an elephant sat on tushy.

Hannah is huge. She's like 5 feet tall already. I think she can dunk. Actually, relative to her height at birth, she probably COULD dunk! She's getting close to starting on food. Soon you will see pictures of Hannah's face covered in peas on the goodies site.

Hannah and Eli are both going to Deb's sisters house every day. Elijah will be going to school in the fall with his cousins so that's very nice. He loves spending his days over there with Joshie and it's so convenient for us too. We are lucky!

Deb went back to work this past Monday. I can't believe it's been 3 months since Hannah came into the world!! Time really does fly. She's smiling now and she laughed for the first time this week. She has a ticklish belly. :-)

So everyone have a GREAT weekend!! I am posting new pictures at the Goodies Site right now so go there and if you have not signed the guestbook yet - DO IT!!!

dad

How To Follow Up on Morning Wood

Good day! I've been delaying my update here for a few days because of the reaction to the morning wood story. It seems to have moved into cult status as many people are reading it who don't usually access the site. How do I follow that up?? Elijah has been rather quiet this last week as far as good material goes. He is happy that he is moving schools in the fall. We took him out of the JCC and are moving him to Temple Adath Emanu-El in Mt. Laurel so Deb's sister Melissa can transport him back and forth with her own children every day. He gets to go to school with his cousins and spend more time with his favorite cousin Joshie. It's good for him.

We have our favorite house guests this week!! Spencer, Lynne and Elijah's best friend Sydney are here!! They are staying at our house until tomorrow afternoon and will return for the weekend. They are on vacation and Elijah loves hanging with Sydney. If you ever get the chance to eavesdrop on a conversation with a couple of three-year olds...do it. There is nothing more adorable. Last night around 10pm we were driving home from a BBQ and Eli and Sydney were in the back talking and it went something like this...

SYDNEY: Elijah, see the trees?

ELI: Yes - they are green.

SYDNEY: The branches are purple.

ELI: No - they are green. Barney is purple.

SYDNEY: The branches are purple. Look at Luna.

ELI: Luna the moon! He's behind us...look!

SYDNEY: Luna is in the clouds.

ELI: He's behind us...LOOK SYDNEY!!! He's BEHIND US!!!!!

SYDNEY: Luna is in the clouds!! The moon is in the clouds.

ELI: DADDY! Sydney said that the moon is in the clouds. I have to go potty.

I love kids.

Some of you have not signed my guest book yet!!! Click here and sign it!!! Lemme know you were there!! New pics in the next few days!

dad

Size Dosen't Matter

It happens to every male. Don't deny it!! You wake up in the morning and stretch and get out of bed and....yep - you guessed it...morning wood. Don't be embarassed!! It's NORMAL. Does not mean a thing - it's just there. You get used to it after awhile. It does not cause any problems or pain. The ONLY drawback of morning wood is trying to use the bathroom. You have to twist like a pretzel so you don't squirt the walls. Sometimes, on special mornings, you REALLY have to bend and twist cause that sucker aint goin' NOWHERE!

What does that have to do with my family? Nothing. I just thought I would relate that information to you.

Just kidding.

This morning, Elijah woke up and had to go potty, as always. So at 6:15 I took him to the bathroom and he dropped his pants and...yep - morning wood. He has no idea, of course, so he proceeds to band halfway over the toilet to go pee pee. No big deal. So he gets in bed with us like always and he's watching Bear in the Big Blue House. Ten minutes later he shakes Debbie and says...

"Mommy, my penis is too big for my pajamas!"

Thank goodness it was dark in the room. He could not see me doubled over in silent laughter. So we don't want to encourage him about the subject...so we don't laugh at all. Instead, Deb asks him why that is. Now here where I get a moment of clarity. As soon as Deb asks him why that is, I have a vision of Elijah replying, "Bear looks HOT on TV today." NO!

So Elijah replies, "It's going to rip my pajama pants, Mommy!"

Mom's thoughts...."oh goodness...change the subject please...talk about baseball or something..."

Dad's thoughts....."YESSS!! That's my BOY!!! WOO WOO!!!!!" High Five!

Reality....."It's OK, Elijah, your pants won't rip. How about those Phillies? They won a BIG game last night!"

My morning in a nutshell. Gotta love it.

Don't forget to go to the goodies site (click the link) and sign my guestbook!! There's lots of new pics there!!! (NONE were taken this morning...don't worry)

dad

Pics pics and more pics

I am uploading 6 new Hannah pics today to the Goodies site! Click on the link to the left for access and don't forget to sign the guestbook over there!!!!

dad

The Proudest Parents

What a whirlwind 48 hours! My grandmother Pearl (Buba) was taken to the hospital by 911 on Sunday AM and on Monday she had taken a severe turn for the worse. She's 97 years old and her ailments are typical of what you would expect in a 97 year old. Renal failure, pnumonia, etc. Well, as always, Buba pulled through and made a magnificent recovery. She's being discharged tomorrow and looks 100% better.

Today, Deb went to visit her in the hospital with Elijah and Hannah. Elijah did not know that Buba was sick. He understands that the hospital is where babies are born and where sick people go to get better. Deb told him he was going to visit Buba in the hospital so he must have figured that she wasn't having a baby...she must be a little sick. Well, they walked in the hospital room and...well - I'll let Deb tell the rest...

"Elijah saw Buba and he went over to her and he said, "Are you OK Buba?" and he saw the patch from the EKG machine on her chest. He said, "Oh Buba, let me take that off for you," and he gently pulled off the patch. "See Buba? You're all better now." Then he fixed the corner of her nightgown (it was falling off her shoulder) and said "See Buba, you are going to be all better." He gave her a hug. Little did he know that Grace, Candice and I were all welled up standing behind him. I have never seen a boy so sweet and caring to an older person. It's like he knew that Buba had been ailing. He was so tender and understanding. If Buba was 90% better when he walked in, she was 100% after 2 minutes of him being there."

Yes, he can be a terror sometimes...he's THREE for crying out loud!! I have to remind myself of this sometimes when he's running around a restaurant yelling, "I'm SUPERMAN!" He is also the most tender, gentle boy I have ever seen and he keeps on amazing us with episodes like the one today in the hospital.

Anyway, it looks like Buba will be going straight to a 24 care facility from the hospital. It's a very difficult move for Mom, who has been taking care of Buba in her house for 5 years, but she decided today it was best. Mom needs her life back and Buba is becoming increasingly more difficult to care for with the limited resources available in a bedroom. She still gets around with her walker and she does all of the things needed to stay clean and healthy but she needs 24 care in the event that something sudden happens. Mom is broken up about it but her sister Rocky is in from Jamaica to help her through it. Uggh. More on this later. Heck - you guys don't even know who Buba is!! Well...most of you don't. She's quite a healthy looking 97 year old!!!

Don't forget the new GOODIES SITE!! Go there and check out pictures and sign my guestbook!!!

dad

ANNOUNCING...

Hey gang...I've created another website that will host all kinds of NEW goodies! The writings (the diary) will CONTINUE to be right here at this site. The new site located here will contain pictures, a guest book, and will enable you to join the community that will lead to other things in the future like message boards and a possible chat feature. Most of you are always asking for more pictures and that's the reason for the new site.

When you get there, PLEASE sign the guestbook so I knew you were there! You should also join as a member so I can reach you automatically with update notifications, etc. There is also a links page with other cool stuff. It will be expanding by the day, literally!!

Thanks again for watching.....

HERE IS THE LINK AGAIN TO THE NEW SITE!

dad

PICTURES!

Here are a few from this past week. I am establishing a seperate page that you can link to from here to see all the pictures posted. I will have that ready soon!!

Have a good weekend!!

The Mexican Wedding, Hannah's Official Name and WHITESNAKE

"What are three things Jordan took part in this past weekend."

CORRECT!

What a weekend!!! Saturday night was spent at Deb's parents' house celebrating the engagement of her sister Amy and fiance Brett. It was a great party out on the deck with lots of beer and lots of beer. AND they had lots of beer too! Amy and Brett are getting married in January. In Mexico. So we are going to make it a vacation! We are headed down there for a week in mid-January to live it up a little and celebrate a wedding on the beach. It should be very cool - breaking the traditional tuxedo/limo wedding thing. I am looking forward to wearing sandals to a wedding! Brett said there were 30 or so people confirmed to go.

After getting home and getting to sleep, I wake up on Sunday morning and we host 80 people at our house for Hannah's baby naming ceremony. 80 people! The Rabbi was stationed downstairs and we squeezed maybe 40 of the guests down there while the rest stood on the stairs or at the top of the stairs. It was PACKED! I wish I had sold tickets! The ceremony was terrific and Hannah is now officially named along with her cousin Ariana. It was actually a double ceremony all wrapped up as one. I will post the naming ceremony "program" in the next day or so here at the site. Deb did a fantastic job creating the literature and it's a beautiful packet.

So the people file out of my house and it looks like it was hit by Hurricane Claudette. We had a cleaning person that did a nice job but there's no way to see ALL of the cake frosting smeared into the walls and tabletops. There's no way to see all the SHOE marks on the walls of the stairway that occur when 4 year olds walk up the stairs SIDEWAYS. There's no way to see the puddle of pee-pee NEXT to the toilet that a stray 3 year old created - right before he announced to the crowd, "I JUST WENT POTTY ALL BY MYSELF!" There's no way to see ALL of the poppy seeds that fell of the bagels during the luncheon. I mean, POPPY SEED BAGELS?? Who ordered these? Never again. This morning as I was stepping into my shower, I felt a sharp pain in my foot and found a freakin POPPY SEED lodged between two of my toes. Those things SMART when you step on 'em! It's plain bagels from now on. Anyway, the cleaning crew comes today so when I get home it will smell like lemon and whitefish salad. Ahhh.....

After the naming it's off to Melissa and Brian's house for Joshies third birthday party. We are pooped by then and it's only 3pm. So I stay there for a bit and then hop in the car and head to the PERFECT ENDING to my day....

If you guessed Trenton, NJ for the Whitesnake concert - then you are CORRECT!!! Gary, Michael and I go to these hard rock shows all the time. It's our guilty pleasure. We can act like 16 year olds for a few hours and look at metal chicks. I love metal chicks. BUT that's a topic for another post. This time is was Slaughter, Winger, Warrant, and Whitesnake. Awesome!! It was LOUD and there were metal chicks everywhere. I think we were the only Jewish people there though. I KNOW I was the only one there who ALSO had a baby naming ceremony for his daughter that same day at his house! I was in bed for the night just after midnight. Exhausted and satisfied.

Bottom line - my day began with prayer and thanking god for my daughter and ended with me pumping my fist to songs like "Cherry Pie", "Slide it In" and "Slow and Easy." THAT'S THE LIFE.

Rock on.....

dad

The Best Therapy

Ever notice how sometimes you can talk to a complete stranger, or someone you don't know all that well, and the words they say make you feel so much better? Sometimes, people who don't fully understand are the best listeners and offer the best advice. My wedding ring is missing. Somehow I gave it to Deb to hold while I put suntan lotion on Elijah this weekend and we have not found it yet. It's in the house somewhere...just not where we can see it right now. It sucks but we know it will turn up at some point. Anyway, I asked Elijah several times if he knew where my ring was and he didn't really show much interest at all. Sometime that night, he asked me to play with him and he saw my sad face. His face became sad almost immediately and he said, "Daddy, you're not sad, you're happy!" I said I was a little sad because I could not find my ring. He walked over and took my hand in his and said, "Don't worry Daddy, we will find your ring. Maybe not today but we will find it tomorrow." Suddenly, I felt 100% better. I BELIEVED HIM! So we played for another half hour or so and then I put him in his bed and he said he wanted to help me find the ring. We looked all over his room (I knew it was not in there but he had hoped it was). After we couldn't find it, he went to bed and so did I...knowing that I would find it...tomorrow.

dad

My Son the Ventriloquist

Hannah is getting BIG! The other day I was feeding her and she had gotten so thick I could not believe it! I am noticing her cheeks getting big and puffy too. I can remember Elijah - until he turned 2 or so - had the most squeezable cheeks I've ever seen! He was chubby all over - he had those knees that you could not see unless he had his legs bent. His cheeks were so big we used to joke that he could store a winter's worth of Cheerios in them. Now, Hannah seems to be growing them too!! I will post some new pictures here in the next few days. We can compare cheeks!

Elijah has this interesting behavior with Hannah. He will walk up to me (or Deb) while we are holding Hannah and put his hand on her. Then he says, "She's awake! Hannah is awake!! Say Hi to her Daddy." So I say Hi to her. Then he continues to tell me what to say to her. "Say 'Hello my love' to her." So I say, "why don't you talk to her - she loves when you talk to her." "No, no Daddy - YOU tell her 'Hi'." How bizarre! We can't figure out why he does that - but it's so very cute. Finally, after about 5 minutes of this, I tell Elijah, "Is there anything else you want to say to Hannah for you?" It's like he's calling me on the phone asking me to relay her messages for him.

Elijah continues to be so protective of Hannah, it's incredible. When someone holds her, he's right there - and I mean RIGHT THERE - practically on the person's lap. He tells them what to say too. He's like her attorney. I can see him with her when she's 16 and a cute boy walks up to her in the mall when they are shopping...

{Cute boy}
"Hello, my name is Brutus Beefcake, but my friends call me Meat. What's your name?"

{Elijah}
"Don't answer that, Sister. He's attempting to manipulate you. Strike that question from the record."

{Hannah}
"But, Elijah, he looks like a nice boy."

{Brutus Beefcake}
"I am a nice boy. I have a Harley, 6 tatoos and a pierced penis."

{Elijah}
"My sister will not be speaking with you at this time. I advise you go on your merry way. Besides, your earlobes are getting tangled."

Yes, I can visualize this scene...and it makes me happy. Afterall, the guy probably wasn't Jewish. What kind of name is Beefcake?

HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND!! Be SAFE on this 4th of July. We got a family of matching T-shirts to wear so people will be staring at us like we are nuts.

Send me e-mail!



dad

Pea Soup

This just in....it's a little warm out. Ew. I just bought a car on my birthday earlier this month. It's black with black leather interior. The steering wheel is black, the floor is black, the radio is black, the roof is black, even the TIRES are black! My parents said I am nuts for doing that because black means HOT. I am nuts. I LOVE it though. Now that it's 165 degrees outside, getting into my car is like being sucked into a black hole, next to the sun, nekkid. You can seriously suffer 9th degree burns on your tuchus if you are not careful. All of that does not matter, though, because the car is a chick magnet. It's a new Audi A4 with a 5-speed turbo engine. Zoom zoom zoom. Chicks dig it. Thing is, they look in at me driving it and think I'm smiling at them when the truth is that I'm grimacing from the incredible pain my testicles are experiencing sitting on a black leather seat in the summertime. Whatever the case - it's a cool car and I love it. Barely fits the family but that's OK cause we got the family joneser - the Buick Rendezvous - to carry the four of us.

The title of this entry is dedicated to my dad. Everytime he came home from work, if it was over 75 degrees out, he would walk into the house with the same routine...

"Hello hello! Mmmmmmmmm....something smells YUMMY! Yech - it's hot in here . It's HAZY HOT AND HUMID outside. It's PEA SOUP!"

So everyone enjoy the heat - it should get better this weekend. More updates with Elijah and Hannah next week!!!!

dad

Sum-Sum-Summertime!

No matter how old I get, I always get the same butterflies in my stomach at this time each year. The school year is over and its SUMMERTIME! For Elijah, that means no more school until September. No more Ms. Joyce. No more 7-5:30 and no more naps on his cot. Today, camp started! Five days per week, Elijah will go to the JCC at 7am and stay until Mommy picks him up at 2pm. He is in room SIX now which means he is older. He's no longer a "fish" anymore; he's graduated to a "peacock." ALL weekend long, he was talking about going to camp on Monday and being a peacock. "School's over. I'm a peacock now!! NO FISHY!! No more Ms. Joyce. My teacher is Ms. Claudette now." Very adorable. So he goes to sleep last night after having a little trouble - he asked me to lay in his bed with him. I think he was a little scared about starting camp but he would not admit it. We got up this morning and he was so excited about going to a new room wth new teachers. We drove to camp and walked in to the JCC. Because all the kids come around the same time in the morning, everyone meets in Room 2 (Elijah's old room). Ms. Dominga (one of Elijah's old teachers) meets us in there and then the teachers come and take their kids. So...as soon as we stop to go into Room 2....he starts crying. TEARS are streaming down his face. He would not walk into the room. By the time he calmed down, he said that he didn't want to be a fishy anymore and wanted to go to his NEW teacher. "No more Ms. Dominga!" It was adorable. He didn't understand that we were just meeting in there for a minute - he wasn't staying in there!! Thank goodness, Ms. Claudette came and took him by the hand and we walked together to Room 6. Elijah saw his name all over the place and felt much better. He's going to have Ms. Claudette all summer and then all next school year as well in the Peacock room.

Deb is picking up Elijah every day at 2pm for the summer. After camp is over, he gets a two week break and then school starts up again!!!

Later!

A Picture is Worth....

I've had lots of requests for pictures so I will post them more often. Hannah is changing so fast, it seems every day we notice something different! Anyway...most of you will be receiving a nice picture with the birth announcement in the next week or so. Here you go with some new pics!!





Isn't she awesome? ;-)

Always more to come...

dad

You Can't Always Get What You Want.....so pee on the floor

The Terrible Two's. The biggest farce I've ever heard. There is no such thing as the terrible two's. I believed we had cleared a hurdle when Elijah turned three last December. We said, "Terrible two's? That was easy!" He he he. No. Folks, if you have not had a child reach the age of three yet...fasten your seat belts! Now don't get me wrong here...it's not "terrible" as the phrase goes. It is, however, the most challenging time of our lives. It's like the most difficult test we had in school. You know that if you choose 'B' and the correct answer is 'C', it could ruin your semester and make the rest of your college career more difficult. So the decision on what action to take when your three-year old is sitting on the floor crying and screaming because he does not want to brush his teeth is a BIG decision!! Hard to believe...but true!

Elijah woke up this morning in a great mood. He knew that Grandpa was picking him up early from school to take him bike riding. He knew that tomorrow there is no school because he is going to see Thomas the Tank Engine live with his cousins. Life was good. Until he realized he was three. Deb was washing him with a washcloth because he sweated during the night and she was freshening his up for the day. He decided he didn't want to be fresh for the day so he sat on the floor and threw a tantrum. He was screaming and yelling LONG after Deb left the bathroom and returned to our bed. I jumped in the shower. The best thing to do is let him have it out. Trying to talk and reason with him makes it worse. So I am in the shower and I hear his crying getting closer to my bathroom door. My head is full of shampoo and I hear Deb calling me, "Jord - big problem here. I am feeding Hannah and Elijah has to go potty." Now, about a month ago, Elijah started going potty standing up at home. He only has to sit down when he has to...well...you know...sit down. So he stands all the time at the toilet. So I call out to Elijah to come into the bathroom and go potty. He's not having it. Already in a tantrum from earlier, he is standing outside the bathroom door screaming that he wants to be picked up and placed on the potty. Not happening. Now I am rinsing my hair of the shampoo. All I hear over the running water is Deb saying, "GO IN THE BATHROOM AND STAND AT THE POTTY" and Elijah screaming, "NO!" Well, I turn the water off and step foot out of the stall and...you guessed it...he had stood there outside the bathroom door and completely peed on himself and made a massive "morning pee" puddle. Can you believe this? He gets his stubborn attitude from Mommy. I mean, this boy chose to stand there and pee on his favorite Superman PJ's then listen to his parents and walk 10 steps to the toilet. So, I clean him all up and he's still pissed off, like its our fault that he went peepee on himself.

"Elijah, next time you have to go potty, go to the toilet and pull down your pants like you always do, and go potty in the toilet."

"NO!"

"Do you want to act like a baby?"

"NO! I'm not a BABY!"

"Then go potty in the toilet!"

"NO!"

You see where this is going. Stubborn...stubborn...stubborn.

By the time we got to school he was happy as a kid could be. He was running around and saying hello to everyone. Ugggh. Another learning experience.

This is Elijah's last week of school. Summer camp at the JCC starts next Monday.

I'm going to go potty now. In the toilet.

dad

Don't Overcook It

If you ever want to make me laugh, approach me when I am cooking at the BBQ and say, "don't overcook it." It's instant laughter. You see, my Dad LOVES to BBQ. We ate BBQ in my house all summer long. Chicken, steak, london broil, fish, you name it - Dad grilled it. The procedure was the same every single time - no exceptions. Mom would prepare the meat and deliver it to Dad on a plate. Immediately after handing him the plate came the first D.O.I ("don't overcook it"). Dad gave the proverbial nod of the head and the eyes roll back. You know that look. The grill received the meat and began to cook it. About twelve and a half seconds into the cooking, Mom looks out the window from the kitchen and utters the SECOND D.O.I. Dad, again, keeps his cool and continues to turn the meat and sip his Michelob Light. Ninety one seconds later, yelling from the upstairs guest bathroom is Mom's voice with the third D.O.I. Now, Dad can't hold back any longer. "Jeez, I heard you for heaven's sake!" Then, fearing un-acceptance of the finished product and, ultimately, the wrath of Mom, he whispers for me to walk over to the BBQ. Cutting a small slit in the side of the meat, he asks outloud, "Is this done?" Now I was the one in the pickle. If I say "No" and he ends up overcooking it, I'M the one who ordered the meat scortched. If I say "Yes" and we bring it in bleeding, I'm the one who's the cannibal. Whatever, I'm screwed. So I take the high road, "Dunno, Dad, you are the cook. I just eat it." He he. The walk into the house with the cooked meat on the plate takes place in slow motion. As Dad is putting the plate on the dinner table, Mom is watching him and the meat. Her eyes go back and forth and back and forth. His eyes NEVER lock with hers. It's in God's hands now. "It BETTER not be overcooked." We sit down. Dad cuts his meat - "Ummmm.....YUMMY!!! Delicious!!!" Mom sits down and cuts her meat and promptly asks if she can trade her sharp knife in for a hammer and chisel. Dinner is served.

The Middletown BBQ was this past Sunday and it was yummy! Everyone had a blast and we missed the DePadova's and the Sollog's. Everyone met Hannah and she got a storeful of gifts. Elijah and Matthew played great and Katherine stared at me for 3 hours. I loved it. It was great to see everyone there and we shoud do this more often!! As we were leaving, I was walking with Dad to the car and I said, "Great job with the chicken, it was delicious!" Dad looked at me and said, "Really? Mom said it was overcooked." The more things change.....

Send me e-mail!!


More pictures to be posted soon!!!

dad

Back to the Future

It's Friday morning at 8:42 and I am already pooped. It's been a miserable week for me at work and, as a result, I have felt extra tired and worn down. I'm telling you - in sales if you are having a bad week, it seems like your life is crashing down on you! Then again, when you have a good week, you feel invincible. This year has been great for me professionaly...until this week. Brutal! But when things are going bad, you always hope there is some sort of light at the end of the tunnel. For me - that light is this weekend.

Tonight I am off to the Phillies game with Elijah. Father and son. Baseball. It's heaven for me.

Tomorrow is my birthday. Now, I admit I have had problems with my birthdays in recent years because...well...that means I am older...BUT - this time I am OK with it. Maybe it's because my family is "complete" now with Hannah having arrived. Maybe because it's 36 and NOT 30 or 35 or...{puke} 40. 36 to me just seems like a number. I didn't even realize that my birthday was coming until a few days ago. Mom and Dad are hosting a breakfast for me. Complete with all the sausage and eggs I can eat!! YESSS!! Those of you who have eaten with me the past four months know that I am a devout follower of the Atkins way of eating and sausage and eggs are my soup and sandwich.

The best part of the weekend, however, will be on Sunday. There is an important picnic at my parents house. EVERYONE will be there. Who is everyone? Man, how do I explain that. Hmmmm..... Well, I guess I can ask the question, "When you were growing up as a young person, what or whom motivated you to become the person you are today?" I grew up (until age 12) in Middletown, NJ. Our street had more nice and friendly people on it than ANY street in the WORLD. I am serious! People waved at you and everyone knew eachother. From that ONE street (Richard Terrace), my family gained over ten lifelong friends. Count the offspring and you have 20-30 people just from Richard Terrace! My parents have not lost touch with ANY of them and its been 32 years since they met. How many of you have had ONE friend for 32 years?? We are blessed in the fact that we moved to Middletown at all!! Some of the very best and warmest memories of my life happened on Richard Terrace. Whether it was in the "circle" or in someone's backyard playing whiffleball or having a picnic by the pool. I still remember the sign on Alice's pool - "Welcome to our ool. Notice there is no P in it. Keep it that way." Mark had a pool too. He learned a valuable lesson one day. DON'T sit on the edge of a 4 foot ABOVE GROUND pool. He still has the scars where the pins were placed in his arm. John's pool had a HUGE wooden ledge that went around the whole pool. It was huge! He had a huge yard - we could play whiffle ball and then jump in the pool. Ahhhhh....

That was my life in the 70's. Made me who I am today. So many influential people - all so different but all special in their own ways. Johanna is John's mom. She's STILL influential in my life - she's motivated me to keep writing on this site!

So Sunday everyone congregates at Mom's house. Everyone will be meeting Hannah for the first time and Mark had a new daugter Katherine too. My hope is that Hannah and Katherine and all the kids have people in their early lives like I did. 32 years from now, maybe they will be able to say the same things!

Have a great weekend everyone...I know I will!!

Send me e-mail


dad

I Got Your Back

My mom takes great pride in the fact that her older son has always been "protective" of her younger daughter. Truth is, Candice and I have always been pretty tight. That's one of the reasons why I was happy to have Elijah first and then Hannah. Same setup as Candice and I. My hope is that Elijah and Hannah grow up to be close and that they watch out for eachother. I want Hannah's boyfriends to treat her nice for fear that her brother may come and kick their butts. Two days ago, there was already evidence of this "protection." Deb went to Elijah's school to pick him up and introduce Hannah to the teachers. After the second of the three teachers had a turn holding Hannah, Elijah blurted out, "Mommy - YOU hold her." I love it!!! She's three weeks old and her brother is already looking out for her.

Now I know I always talk about how wonderful everything is and sometime people ask me about that. "How can EVERYTHING be so great in your life ALL the time?" I guess I am not always real enough! Hey, it's not easy having two kids!! I don't want to sugarcoat things. Believe me, Elijah has had his tough times. But that's what they are.....times. 95% of the time he is a joy. 5% of the time his head is spinning on an axis. Either way, I love him. Last week, during a particularly difficult 10 minutes, Elijah was not happy with our answers to his questions and decided to..well..I guess the best way to describe it is he acted like he was three. (If you have a three year old....you KNOW what I am talking about!!) He was running around screaming and then gave us THIS line, "I don't like you anyMORE!" He was expressing himself! Deb didn't hesitate for a second. She came right back and said, "that's too bad because you know what? I LOVE YOU." Good line. Five minutes later he was asking for tickets to see Superman Live. There is no such show but the kid has imagination. "Eli, sweetie, there is no Superman Live show."

"OK. Can we get tickets?"

"No - you see - um...Superman is on TV and in the movies but there is NO live Superman show."

"OK - if I'm a good listener at school then we can get tickets to Superman Live?"

"I love you Elijah."

Maybe when he grows up, he will produce a Superman Live show.

Send me e-mail!


dad

It's In My Head

You know how sometimes you meet someone new and they know that they are gorgeous? The kind of person you talk about and say, "He/She is perfect - but they know it." I know now that that mindset starts at an early age. Elijah knows he's gorgeous and awesome. I hope it lasts forever!! For now, it's very funny sometimes but also gets us into trouble.

For instance, EVERY time we go to the red store (Target), he knows he is getting a present. Not good. I mean, we LOVE to buy him presents - that's for sure. It makes us happy to see him happy. Problem is...if we go to the red store and try to NOT buy him a present - he cries all the way home. He thinks he deserves a present every time. Until now, we really didn't have a way to tell if he deserved it or not. NOW we do!!

We are putting together this simple system of stars. Everytime Elijah is a "good listener" he gets a star on the board. When he's not a "good listener" he gets one taken away. When he reaches a certain number of stars, he gets a present from the red store. Perfect! Stay tuned to see how Elijah is doing Shooting for the Stars!

Meanwhile, yesterday the two of us went to bring Buba her dinner (Buba is my 95 year old grandmother). Elijah and I brought her her favorite meal - a fish sandwich from McDonalds. While we were there setting it up, Elijah picked up the phone in the room and pretended to call my mom (his Abuela). He didn't think I was listening but I heard every word...

"Hello Abuela. You are my grandma and I am your grandson. I am delicious. I am gorgeous. OK? Bye."

Then he said to me, "That was Abuela on the telephone."

He knows he is loved.

Hope your weekend was great! Hannah is doing great - there's not much to say at this point because she is still sleeping and eating but her awake time is getting longer and she is beginning to show signs of play! We may get a smile soon!!!

Send me e-mail!!


dad

Reality Bites

I had a life moment yesterday and it's lasted until today. Thanks Dad. Yesterday afternoon I was on the phone with my Dad; it must have been around 4pm. We were chit chatting about this and that and he asked why I wasn't playing softball this year. Then he said something so profound. It didn't hit me at first - it took its time sinking in. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how true it was. You see, when I started playing softball I was 17 years old. I played on my Dad's JCC team - I was the youngest player on the team by far. The average age was probably 40 or so. There were some guys who were in their 60's and some in their 20's but most were 35-45. I used to get teased all the time because I was the baby. Fast forward to 2003 and this conversation with my Dad yesterday. His comment was:

"Now you'll be at the age where you'll be the same age as the other guys."

Vomit.

Damn! My son will soon be going to the games with me on Sunday's and someday...maybe HE will be the youngest player in the league. Now, approaching age 36, I am more than DOUBLE the age I was when I was the baby. Somebody STOP THE TRAIN already!!

Enough. I am not complaining...just facing reality. Life is a moving train and you have to have your camera ready at all times so you don't miss capturing ANY of the landscape.

Oh..and by the way...I can STILL hit a softball farther than Dad. ;-)

Send me e-mail!

BABIES BABIES EVERYWHERE!

Must be something in the water...another baby arrived yesterday! Arianna Alberti came into the world at 3:17pm at Virtua Hospital in Voorhees. She weight 6 pounds 8 ounces. Her mom is Sandra Alberti, who is Deb's sister. That makes us Aunt and Uncle again! Sandra was a reader of the Deuce Daily and was one of the eight pregnant women who read it every day so we will add Arianna's picture to the collection. I am gathering pictures of all eight babies born during the Daily's 7 month existence and will post them on a tribute page for everyone to see.

Meanwhile, Elijah came home early from school with a tummyache. His teacher said he didn't "look right" and said he had a tummyache so I brought him home to his mom and sister for the rest of the afternoon. He ended up eating a four course meal for lunch with TWO brownies so I guess he's feeling better. :-) Meanwhile, Hannah continues to get used to being alive. She gives up two-four hour sleep sessions each night. The key is getting her to take her last evening bottle as late as possible so that she only wakes us ONCE during the night. Last night she ate at 9 and got up at 1 and 4:30. Not ideal. The key is getting her to eat at 7:30. THERE YOU GO!! 7:30...then she eats again around 11. Then night night!! Up at 3 or so and then up for work at 6 or 7! That's the ticket. It's a matter of structuring the schedule so we get there. We are working on it for sure. She's a joy when she's not sleeping!! She sleeps around 20 hours a day still. Tomorrow is her 2 week checkup! It's my late night here at work so I will be able to go to the appointment too.

That's all for now! Please keep checking the site because there are more goodies in store! Also, remember to keep sending me e-mail

dad

Superman!

See that title line above? OK...now say it about 1,400 times in succession without stopping to breathe. Oh yeah..make it at TOP volume as well. Fun? Did you drive the people around you crazy? Mmm hmm. Just as I thought. This is our life. You would think that Hannah's crying would keep us insane or that her sleep schedule would make us crazy. No. That stuff is completely manageable when compared to Elijah's obsession with Superman. Actually, the obsession is not just with Superman. It's with the Justice League as a whole. It's Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Hawk Girl, Martian Manhunter, and Green Lantern. He is collecting the figurines and sleeps with them, bathes with them, eats with them and goes to the bathroom with them. When he gets up in the morning, his first words after "I have to go potty," are "can we buy Hawk Girl today?" It's actually a nice change from Buzz Lightyear for a change. On the other hand, it's another obsession to deal with. I will never complain about it because I know that someday when he's 18 years old and obsessing about more involved things, I will be wishing it was the Justice League again.

Hannah is doing great! I will write more about her later on because I have to run some errands now. Check out this awesome picture or her and her brother...

The Future's So Bright...I've Gotta Wear Shades

I've been thinking about what to talk about in the final edition of the Deuce Daily. Today is my first day back to work and I am soooo tired that I am not going to talk about anything in particular.

I just wanted to say how humbling it has been for me to see and hear the reactions, compliments, etc. that I have received over the last 8 months from readers all over the country. People who don't even know me have e-mailed me thoughts and stories of their pregnancies. Thanks to everyone for making this so fun for me.

I've already begun to mold the website. I've posted several times there in the last week or so. Please set your bookmarks to www.67167.blogspot.com because it will always be updated with stories about Elijah and Hannah and, of course, with pictures and audio as well. I am also working on getting some video up on the site. I am learning and it's a slow process.

A message board will soon be added to the site so please go there and say hello. You will have a chance to post your own pictures and tell your stories. It will be a virtual family.

So...without further adeu...I am off to my full time job of being a dad to two beautiful children. I don't know what it means, but several people have told me I have a "rich man's family" now because I have a boy and a girl. I guess they are right. I certainly do feel like a rich man. Tired....but rich!

I leave you with one final story....when Elijah and Hannah bonded for the first time it was a moment I will NEVER forget. It was our first day home with Hannah - last Friday the 16th. Elijah was holding Hannah for the first time on his lap. He was gently touching her head and talking about her and at the end he said, "I love Deuce and Deuce loves me." I got it on video. You wanna talk about precious video?? Fahhhhhhh-get about it! Everyone who sees it sheds a tear. You can't help it. It's my life the last week. I have a lot to be thankful for. For some reason, I've been blessed with two angels. I plan to make the best of it.

Peace and love to everyone.

Forever I remain...

dad
(times two!) :-)

Have you ever seen anything so peaceful in your life??

Life

I have two kids. I say that to myself every few hours. Yep - I got TWO!! Boy and a girl. Yep. Two kids. Then I vomit. How is it that I look up and have two kids? Just 5 minutes ago I was sitting at the kitchen table eating Elios pizza, playing Strat-O-Matic Baseball and thinking about how I was going to pass Geometry. Now...that's right....I have two kids. So...the question arises..what happens to Deuce? Is there a Deuce anymore? I guess there always will be a Deuce. If you ask Elijah, there still is a Deuce - he calls her "Deucey" as much as he calls her Hannah. He also calls her "Cutey" which we all think is so adorable. Deuce will be here forever in one form or another.

I gotta tell you about the video I shot when we got home from the hospital. Deb was on the couch with Hannah and Elijah asked to hold her. We gave Elijah the boppy pillow and we put Hannah on his lap. The next 6 minutes were sent from heaven. Elijah bonded with his sister. He told her he loved her and he touched her with a gentle hand that was guided by the greatest joy. He said, "This is my baby sister!" After a few minutes he passed Hannah to mommy with a smile. He asks to hold her all the time now and after a few minutes he gives her up and runs to play somewhere. It's almost like he's getting his fix of love every few hours. It's awesome to watch.

People have asked what Elijah's reaction was when he met Hannah for the first time. He walked into the hospital room and yelles, "Deuce is out!" Then he asked to see her vagina. Nice.

We have had a constant flow of visitors since we have been home. Parents and friends are coming and going and Hannah is taking is all great. Today, Buba (my grandmother) gave Hannah her first sponge bath. They are 95 years apart in age. Incredible. It's one Kodak moment after another.

That's all for now..I am tired so I am going to rest. I am home from work until Wednesday and there are more stories to tell so stay in touch...

dad

The Luckiest Man in The World

It's 8:20am and I am in a fog. Last night at 11:40pm, Deb and I were blessed the most magnificent of gifts. Hannah Leora Borenstein. 6 pounds 12 ounces. 19.5 inches long. Pure joy! She looks like her brother!

Deb was on a petocin drip all day long. Contractions began at 1:30pm and she had an epidural at 3pm. She was completely dilated at 8pm but Hannah's head was face up and they wanted rotation so Deb slept for a few hours and began pushing at 11pm sharp. Actually, we wanted to see American Idol and the Sixers game before we started pushing. :-)

Hannah arrived at 11:40. I got to cut the cord and we had 7 people in the waiting room file in. Her first feeding was around 2:45am and she sucked on that bottle like she had never eaten before in her life! I had to say that because I'll never get to say that about her again...

I am home for a brief period and then going to pick up Elijah. He will be meeting his little sister at 10am sharp. It's a moment we have been waiting for for many months. Elijah has a gift for Hannah and Hannah has a gift for Elijah.

Elijah's picture was hanging in the delivery room the whole time...Deb kept looking at it for inspiration.

Enjoy the 3 pictures attached here. They were taken before Hannah was 5 minutes old.

Thank you all for your incredible support and encouragement through everything. This has been a great trip....and it's just beginning!!!

I'll send some followups in the next day or so and then move everything to the weblog www.671967.blogspot.com

on to life!!

dad

WOW - I JUST got word that ANOTHER Daily reader had HER baby this morning at 6:35!!! A boy! Here is the e-mail I received from Becky's manager at work..

"I received a call from Manny and Becky will not be in because she gave
birth to a little boy this morning at 6:35am. Manny said she was having
some pains last night around 4:00 am they went to the hospital around
5:50 am and now she is mother ot a healthy six pound boy. Manny said
that she is fine."

Hey everyone...

I have just a minute here to tell you that we are GOING TO THE HOSPITAL!!!

Deb's water broke at 5:30 this morning and the doctor confirmed just a bit ago that we are going in - TODAY IS BABY DAY!!!

More info later on...I'll keep you all posted - as of right now - not much dilation going on...

dad!!!

I can't wait for Deuce!

Too Much TIME on My Hands

I usually don't write on Tuesdays but we are too close to Deuce's arrival to skip a day. Today is Day 264 of the pregnancy and there are TWO days to go, officially, until the due date. I really have not been nervous! People ask me all the time if I am nervous. I am not lying! I am ready for this baby to come and ready for the responsibility of taking care of it. However...the more time that passes before the birth, the more apprehensive I become. Does that make any sense at all? The last few nights have been a bit restless for me. I go to bed and think about the baby sleeping in the bassinet next to our bed...waking up every few hours to eat and crying in the middle of the night. Will Elijah wake up when the baby cries? Will I wake up during the week when the baby cries and then be completely useless at work?? How much will Elijah regress? How much will I regress??? Anyway, you get the picture. I just want this baby to arrive soon so I stop thinking so much. Bottom line is that I honestly cannot wait. I am ready.

Today, Zeide Abe arrives from Florida. I am happy that he will be here when Deuce is born. This is very special to us because Zeide Abe's wife Bobe Ana, passed away in 2001 and Deuce will be the first baby born since then. It's important that Zeide Abe is here because Deuce will be named, in part, after Bobe Ana. It will be a very special time.

The first breaths Deuce will take are the hardest. It has been calculated that the first breathing-in requires five times the effort of an ordinary breath, because the air drawn must expand the thousands of tiny uninflated air sacs of the lungs. It is an effort that can be compared to blowing up a balloon.

If you are planning to breastfeed, you are going to be offering the most well-balanced immune-protective nutrition available to your baby. Each of your breasts gains 1.5 pounds during pregnancy in preparation for nursing. Deb will not be breastfeeding because she is "disconnected" as a result of breast reduction surgery 9 years ago. On one hand, she feels lucky that the breast pain and discomfort is non-existent in her pregnancies. On the other hand, of course, all things considered she would like to breast feed. For me, it's fantastic this way because I get to help 50-50 with feedings. PLUS, when we are 80 years old and everyone has breasts that hang down to their knees, Deb's will be standing at full attention still. :-)

P-Tips....When the baby was in your uterus, its world sounded watery and sloshy. While you can go out and buy a toy that duplicates intrauterine sounds, the sound of running water is also soothing to the baby and will help lull it to sleep. Tape-record the sound of a running shower, water filling the tub, or a running dishwasher and play it if your baby is having trouble falling asleep. We have a series of cassette tapes that we got when Elijah was born that are incredible. They just play heart beating sounds and we believe that Elijah slept well in the beginning because of these tapes.

"Pretty much all the honest truth telling there is in the world is done by children."

That's it for today. I remind everyone to set their bookmarks to www.671967.blogspot.com. This will be the home of the Daily after Deuce arrives. The website will be forever expanding and will include pictures, video and a message board for everyone to check in!!

Have a good day!!!

dad

Still here....

A mother's day birth would have been cool...but as we expected, it did not happen. We are still here waiting and our feeling is that we will continue to wait another week or so. Then again...who knows? Mother Nature works in mysterious ways... Yesterday was Deuce's first Mother's Day! Hope yours was wonderful. We went to the deli for breakfast with my family and then spent lunch with Deb's family. We were home and on the couch before dinner!! ;-) Friday after work we went shopping at Babies R Us and bought a whole bunch of stuff for Deuce. We already have a new stroller and car seat. We bought a cool bouncy seat, some toys, bottles, bibs, etc. We also bought a cool new front carrier so we can carry Deuce on our bodies. Awesome. Elijah had fun picking out things with us. The only stuff we couldn't get were clothes. That's the only negative about not knowing the gender of the baby. No idea what to get!! So we bought some neutral swaddlers and onesies but that was about it.

Over the next three days, Deuce's chest will become more prominent. Deuce's abdomen will be big and round at birth because of the size of the liver. Deuce's liver will be naturally large because of the special role it has had in the production of blood cells.

A kick from the womb during this stage of pregnancy can almost knock a book off your lap!!

If any of the vernix (the creamy protective substance on the surface of Deuce's skin) remains until birth, it is usually found only on the baby's back. As the vernix sloughs off Deuce's skin, the amniotic fluid may change from clear and straw colored to milky.

This day in the Elijah pregnancy, my journal entry: "It's funny, I only feel nervous when my beeper goes off. Spencer beeped me yesterday and I almost wet myself."

Have a good Monday everyone!!

dad

Honey, why is DYFS at our front door?

It's so exciting typing the Daily every day now because I never know if it will be the last one (under the Deuce Daily title, anyway). Deb is home resting now and waiting for something to happen. The doctor said all is well. We heard Deuce again and the heartbeat was strong and healthy! They won't do an internal exam on Deb until AFTER her due date. Next Thursday is her next appointment and it is also her due date so maybe if we last that long they will take a look inside. Elijah is all better too and back in school today. At 2pm all the mothers are going to school so the kids can host the Mother's Day Tea. Elijah is very excited.

Gotta share this funny story with you. Wednesday morning the cleaning crew came to the house at 8am and I was home with Elijah that day (he was sick). They cleaned the upstairs first and when they were done in my bedroom I told them I was going in to take a shower so they didn't try to come back in. No problem. Elijah and I jumped in the shower. When the shower was done, I opened the door and Elijah stepped out onto the shower mat. It was cold. I wrapped his Buzz Lightyear towel around him but he was cranky, being sick and all, and was half crying, half whining....you know that sound. Anyway, the cleaning people were outside my bedroom cleaning in the hallway and Elijah is crying loudly. I was trying to comfort him and warm him up when he looked at my naked body and proclaimed, "Daddy, your penis is too big!" Oh no. I quickly covered his crying mouth with my hand. That's just what I need. The cleaning people calling 911 - a man is locked in a bathroom with his 3 year old son, who is crying and screaming that his dad's penis is too big. My wife gives birth to Deuce and I am in county lockup without bail complaining that Bubba's penis is too big and Elijah is in foster care. We got dressed quickly and went downstairs smiling. It wasn't until a few hours later that I thought, "Hey - that's pretty cool, somebody actually said I had a big penis."

Deuce's skull is not yet fully solid. It is made up of five large bony plates that are still separated and can be pushed together, which they will be during birth.

During these last few weeks in the womb, Deuce continues to receive one of the most important ingredients for survival from your blood, from the placenta, and also from the amniotic fluid (which is swallowed periodically): disease-combating antibodies that will provide an immunity to a wide range of diseases.

Don't push yourself right now...Just rest, eat well, and nurture yourself as Deuce's due date approaches.

Over the next three days, the last of the vernix will begin to disappear. The sutures or spaces between the bony plates of Deuce's skull are also called fontanels, which means "little fountains" because the pulse of Deuce's bloodstream can be easily felt by touching them. The best known of the fontanels is the "soft spot" on the top of Deuce's head. Don't worry if Deuce's head becomes molded or elongated during the birth process. It will return to its normal, rounded shape a few days after childbirth. The molding is a safety precaution - the bones of the skull carefully slide over one another to reduce the skull's diameter, so the pressure of birth doesn't damage Deuce's brain.

Most babies drop into a head first, face down position in their mother's pelvis. In some cases, the baby is in a head first, face up position, so the back of its head presses against the mother's tailbone or spine. This produces the phenomenon called "back labor." The pain of back labor is especially intense and doesn't seem to let up, even between contractions. Consult with your doctor about techniques to relieve the pain.

From now until Deuce is born, continue walking for exercise and practice your breathing and relaxation exercises. If your back is particularly sore, you might try to relieve some of the pain by gently stretching those muscles. When you begin having contractions, walking and controlled breathing will both help you through them.

"Happy is he that is happy with his children."

ANNOUNCEMENT: Being that this MAY be the last official Deuce Daily, I am rolling out the official website address for future writings. Direct your browser to www.671967.blogspot.com and bookmark the site. The site will be enriched and expanded over time to include pictures and a message board. I will continue to write at least a few times a week after Deuce is born and welcome your comments through the website!

Everyone have a good weekend and a GREAT MOTHER'S DAY!! Stay tuned!!!! :-)

dad

The Gifts of Life

As we make final preparations for the arrival of Deuce, we are following a sort-of "checklist" to make sure we do everything. Things like packing the hospital bag, buying onesies and swaddling blankets, etc. One thing is different this pregnancy than the last; this time there is a sibling involved. I've written before about Elijah's preparation for Deuce. He's been to sibling class, we have read him all the books and he's seen videos. We believe he is as ready as he can be. He even goes to the doctor appointments with us and listens to Deuce's heartbeat. This week, we took another step to ease the transition for Elijah. We took him to the store and bought a present for him to give to Deuce when he/she is born and we bought a present for Elijah from Deuce that we will give him after the birth as well. Elijah picked out a cuddly stuffed teddy bear that plays sounds of the womb so Deuce can rest next to it. Adorable. Elijah is also going to give some of his artwork to us to put in the hospital for when Deuce arrives and, of course, we are taking pictures with us to the hospital as well. The past few nights, Elijah has been sleeping with Deuce's blankie as well as his own. He's warming it up for Deuce.

Poor Elijah has been sick these last few days. Today he is going to the doctor to get checked out. Tomorrow is a date that Deb's been looking forward to for a long time. It's the Mother's Day Tea at Elijah's school. The kids all made gifts for Mother's Day and tomorrow they are hosting an afternoon tea for the moms. Very adorable. Deb was hoping that Deuce would wait until after the tea and it looks like that will be the case!!

The color of Deuce's skin is beginning to change from reddish or pinkish to white or bluish pink (even in babies with dark pigmentation). Changes in Deuce's skin color are due to the growing thickness of the fatty layer under the skin's surface. Earlier in development, the skin was so transparent and the body contained so little subcutaneous fat that if you could have seen Deuce, you would have seen its organs through its skin. Now, the growing layer of fat gives Deuce's skin an opaque quality and masks the color of the muscles and circulating blood cells.

Week 37 draws to a close. You may notice more of a change in your gait, since your balance is being thrown off by your enlarged uterus and the shifting position of Deuce. I can tell you first hand that Deb is waddling. Every time I see her walking I find myself humming the old Weebles song in my head...you remember...."weebles wobble but they don't fall down..."

DID YOU KNOW that in Scandinavian countries like Sweden and Denmark, they get close to a YEAR of paid maternity leave? Deb gets 6 weeks.

My journal for the Elijah pregnancy says that Deb had trouble sleeping around this time. Not so much these days. Her hands feel better with the braces she is wearing so she is getting better sleep. A little back pain now and again but overall - no big thing!

"We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up."

That's all for now. A belated Happy Birthday to Uncle Evan, who is a year older than I am (until June 7). :-)

Have a good Thursday! Doctor tonight!

dad

No no no...not YET!

There was no baby!!! Funny how not sending out a Daily makes people crazy....everyone thought we were in the hospital!! Not so...just very busy on the road yesterday and at home with Elijah who was feeling under the weather. Actually there are no signs of baby just yet. It's looking to me like the 15th is an accurate date after all. Deb still feels great - almost TOO good! Tomorrow is her final day at work and she is ready to get into baby mode.

Elijah was home sick, as I said above, and I took the morning with him until Deb came home at 12:30. His fever was gone and he was getting some sleep on our bed while watching The Wiggles on TV. When I went upstairs to get him I was giving him a big hug and he said,

"Daddy, I put it on your side of the bed."

"Put WHAT on my side of the bed."

"The boogie."

"WHAT boogie?"

"The one I took out of my nose."

When a co-worker asked me why I stayed home with Elijah this morning, I told her he had Boogie Fever. I thought it was funny.. :-)

Deuce will have no functioning tear ducts for a couple of weeks. The first cries are always tearless ones.

There are many reasons why you may have trouble sleeping from now on. Deuce may be much more active, you may be experiencing periodic contractions, and you are probably anxious and anticipating the birth. All of this is very predictable and common.

The average length of a newborn's umbilical cord is 2 feet, but the cord can vary from 5 inches to more than 4 feet long. By the time of birth, the cord is capable of carrying about 300 quarts of fluid per day. Absolutely amazing. Can you imagine?

When Deuce settles deep into your pelvis, you may feel clumsy and off-balance. That is because your center of gravity has shifted as Deuce changed its position.

This date in the Elijah pregnancy was Thanksgiving. Deb's sister Melissa announced she was pregnant with a baby that would become Elijah's cousin Joshie! I wrote in my journal that we were "almost there" and I am writing the same thing today!!

I promise to get SOMETHING out to you each day until the birth so there are no false alarms!! Until tomorrow....I remain...

dad

Next, please!

"Hey there. I just wanted to let you know that Maryann had a baby boy on
Friday. His name is Anthony Lucas Barbosa.....Anthony...what a great
name..... he is lbs. 15oz and 20 inches long. I met him on Saturday and he
is just beautiful. They are both doing great."

These are the words I got today from Anetta, a Daily reader and friend of Maryann. You've been seeing Maryann's updates here in the daily for months and now she is a mommy!! Anette - if you read this - please give us the weight! You left off the number in your e-mail!! Please get a picture as soon as you can too so I can broadcast that!!

Guess who's next!!!

The weekend was uneventful. Deb is feeling great, except for some minor back pain. We talk all the time about how great the pregnancy has been. It resembles the Elijah pregnancy very much. That's a good thing because he turned out great! There is a book I read to Elijah every night called "I'm a Big Brother." It's a story about a boy who gets a new baby sister. It's a great book and Elijah knows it by heart. The cute thing is that he's replaced all of the "baby" references with "Deuce" and all of the "I" references to "Elijah." So when I read him the book, it reads like he is talking about Deuce. I think he's ready.

We spent the weekend going through Deuce's room and cleaning it out. Every two minutes we would pause because we would find something that Elijah used or wore when he was a baby. The memories!! We would look at eachother and say the same thing, "we are going to do this all over again!" I can't wait!

From this point on, Deuce will gain about 1/2 an ounce of fat each day it stays in your uterus.

The muscles at the top of your uterus apply a force comparable to a weight of 55 pounds during each contraction. This shows how much force must be applied to resistant muscles to open the cervix and push Deuce out of the uterus during birth.

Don't Panic!!! Keep your list of emergency numbers in a convenient place. If you are in labor and can't get to the hospital, dial 911. Unlock your door and lie down. Pant to avoid pushing until help arrives. Labor can take many hours, however, so don't panic if you must wait a little while for a ride.

The lanugo (downy hair that once covered Deuce's body) is disappearing. If any of the lanugo remains by birth, it will be found on Deuce's shoulders, forehead, and neck.

FALSE vs. TRUE LABOR...You might be interested in other women's descriptions of the experience of true labor. many women compare the contractions of true labor to waves: gathering, rising, breaking, falling. The pressure builds in the uterine muscles and reaches a peak that lasts thirty to fifty seconds or so. Then the pressure disappears rapidly. When it's over you feel nothing until the next contraction. To some, the gripping sensation of the contraction feels like bad menstrual cramps or intestinal cramps. Most women report that persistent backache accompanies the contractions. Labor is a well-named phenomenon. It's the work that you will do to bear your baby. Although the work is difficult, few jobs are as rewarding or satisfying. (for the daddy too!)

10 days until the official due date......

dad

Nesting

One of the unbelievable characteristics of a pregnancy is the process of nesting. Its one of those things that happens to everyone towards the end of the nine months. You hear about it happening and you read about it but you don't know quite what it feels like until BAM!! It hits you suddenly. Those who have gone through it know what I mean - you are probably laughing right now. For those who don't know, it's like a voice comes into your head and threatens you with castration if you don't fix up the house and yard. There's a baby coming - everything has to be perfect. What if the baby comes home for the first time and there's dust in the den? He or she will NEVER forgive us!! Deb and I have been hit with the nesting bug this week. All of a sudden, I'm NOT lazy....that's how I know it hit me. This weekend I am going to clean up my yard (don't fall off your chair, Dad). YES - I am cleaning my own yard - stop laughing. Inside the house, Deb and I will work on Deuce's room - emptying clutter and getting it ready to house it's second baby. There's not a lot of work in there but I am sure we will go over everything twice. Did I mention I am cleaning my yard? It's so funny, nesting is. I have these urges - even now as I write this: I have to buy heavy duty garbage bags for leaves and sticks, I have to bring boxes in from the garage to pack up Elijah's old stuff, WAIT - the garage - it also needs cleaning...and what about formula? Do we have 12 cases of formula??? UGGHHH!!!! I hope to be back to normal on Monday.

Last night we had our weekly doctors appointment. All is well. One difference between this pregnancy and the Elijah pregnancy is with these appointments. With Elijah, the doctor was doing internal exams every week at the end. This time, not ONE! The doctor said there is no need unless something is going on. That's kinda cool because we have Elijah at the appointments and the quicker we are in and out the better. Deb's last day at work is Thursday the 8th. The doctor also told us that 2 weeks is the max they will wait after the due date to induce which means...we are definitely having Deuce in MAY!! It's ALMOST HERE!!!!!!! I gotta clean something!!!

At this point in development, the average baby weighs about 6 pounds and measures about 13 3/8 inches.

DID YOU KNOW that a number of tribes lubricate a laboring woman's birth canal with saps or oils to make the delivery easier. That's good to know....bring saps to the hospital!!!

P-Tips...It's common for babies to develop a fear of shampooing, as soap and water sometimes makes its way into little eyes. To avoid these problems, place colorful stickers on the ceiling over the tub to get the baby to look up...then you can rinse the suds off!

Contrary to popular understanding, human gestation actually requires nine and a half lunar months, not nine. These last two weeks are for that additional period. Over the next few days, Deuce's skin will become thicker and paler.

FALSE vs. TRUE LABOR....The contractions of true labor may be accompanied by diarrhea.

DID YOU KNOW that if a laboring woman is tiring of progress is slowing, many cultures know to stimulate the woman's nipples so that oxytocin will be released into her system. He he...should NOT have told me that. FOLKS - pack the clothespins!

Over the next couple of days, Deuce's lungs will begin to increase their production of a surfacant, which will keep the air sacs in the lungs open.

Your uterus is highly muscular and weighs 2.5 pounds now that Deuce is fully developed. During a contraction, the uterus feels hard to the touch.

IMPORTANT ALL PREGGOS!!!! Be prepared to call your practitioner when signs indicate that you are ready to go to the hospital or birth center. Don't worry about the time of day. People who attend births expect to be called at all hours!!!

Happy 4th Anniversary to Sparkle and Lisa!!! We love you!!!

That's all for now!! Sorry no Daily yesterday..busy here at work. Have a good weekend!!!

dad

Get Up and Boogie!

If you were smiling when you read the title of the Daily today then you know what's coming. This morning, Elijah woke up at 5:00 calling for his mommy to take him to the potty. I got out of bed to take him and he did not like it. He wanted MOMMY to take him. Well, as expected, Mommy is in bed comfortable and 9 months pregnant, and would rather not get up just yet. So I picked him up with his protests and put him on the potty. Nothing. "I want MOMMY to take me. I want MOMMY to take me!!" I stood there for about a minute. Finally, Deb comes into the bathroom and as soon as she says, "I'm here," he starts to pee. How bizarre. Anyway..he gets in our bed and it's pitch black in the room. We lay down to get a final hour or sleep and out of the blue, he makes an announcement. "I got the boogie!!" What boogie. "Daddy, mommy, I got the boogie!!!"

So Deb casually asks, "What are you going to do with the boogie, Elijah?"

"Put it on the bed."

"Um...sweetie...make sure you put it on DADDY'S pillow....K?"

"Um...OK, I'm gonna put it on the bed."

Well, I guess he moved his arm to "put the boogie on the bed" but what he failed to consider was that I was hugging him at the time. My arms were wrapped around him. So the next thing I feel is his finger running down my arm, ridding himself of the boogie. Of course, I started waving my arms in rejection of said boogie and yelled, "OH MAN!" (for those of you who are familiar with Dora the Explorer). Well, Deb has a queasy stomach. She always has but this pregnancy thing has her stomach on edge 24/7. She can't even be in the bathroom when Elijah is "sticking." So she puts 2 and 2 together as I am waving my arms and starts gagging violently. Finally she sits up to get her breath. She nearly vomited. I was hysterical in silent laughter and Elijah fell asleep (he could breathe now).

Worst part? I still can't find the boogie.

Don't hug your honey when his nose is runny...you may think it's funny but it's snot.

By today, the circumference of Deuce's head and abdomen are about equal.

FALSE vs. TRUE LABOR....If you stand or walk when you're having a contraction, the force of gravity will make the contractions more efficient and will reduce the time of labor. By the end of pregnancy, the smooth muscle cells of the vagina are enlarged and the supportive connective tissues are reduced. Thus, the vaginal walls have become sufficiently relaxed to permit the passage of Deuce during birth.

If Deuce is a girl, over the last three or so days the labia majora has formed over the labia minora. Wow. How many men out there know that there were TWO!

Frequent urination can help labor progress: a full bladder will push against the uterus, causing discomfort.

This date in the Elijah pregnancy marked Deb's last day of work. She's sticking it out this time until the 8th of May. Trooper!! Actually, we have had no real concerns to date so she feels comfortable going into work. Everything is progressing nicely!!

That's all for now!! It's the last day of the month so I need to get back to work! See ya tomorrow!!

dad

The Final Frontier

It kind of hit me yesterday. Deb, Elijah and I were getting ready to go to the Phillies game. It was a beautiful 73 degrees and we were going to celebrate the Phillie Phanatic's birthday. Elijah was so excited and there were 40,000 people there. In the car I thought, "I am going to the baseball game with my NINE month pregnant wife." She's been pregnant for NINE MONTHS! WHOA! Isn't that when the BABY comes??? We are so close!! In any case, if you saw the sports news, then you know what happened at the game. After the Phanatic's celebration (it was great), Kevin Millwood of the Phillies went out and threw a no-hitter against the Giants. The first no-hitter at Veterans Stadium in 13 years. Phenominal. So, right after the last out was recorded and there was a big celebration on the field, I looked at Elijah and said, "you just witnessed HISTORY!!" He looked at me with big wide eyes and said, "YEAH!! I saw Phillie Phanatic's birthday party!!" OK, so we have a little ways to go with the baseball thing. Anyway, he must have been TOTALLY into the whole thing because when we got home at 5:30, he got in bed and did not get up until this morning at 6:15. I mean, the boy was OUT. When he opened his eyes this morning his first words were, "Daddy...I don't have my jam jams on."

What a weekend it was! Our wedding anniversary started out great - I sent a dozen roses to Deb at work on Friday and she CALLED OUT. Great! So.....one of her co-workers, and fellow Daily reader I must add, Kelly, brought them home and I spent Saturday morning driving to Yardley to pick them up! Thank goodness they survived and look great.

The bag is packed and you preggos should make sure yours is too!! I got a portable electronic Yahtzee game in there and lots of other goodies! Ya gotta be ready!!

Within the next three days, the circumference of Deuce's head will roughly match the circumference of its shoulders and its hips.

FALSE VS. TRUE LABOR....The contractions of true labor become progressively stronger and more painful as time passes and aren't interrupted by changing one's position.

When timing contractions (your doctor will have you look for contractions a certain number of minutes apart), don't expect perfect, even intervals. If, for example, you are supposed to call your doctor when your contractions are four minutes apart, expect them to be about four minutes apart rather than exactly four minutes apart.

DID YOU KNOW...that in the Mayan culture, a midwife gives a woman a special massage twenty days after she gives birth. This massage marks the end of the postpartum period.

As you might expect, Deuce's limbs are bent and drawn close to its body. Because of the space limitations in the uterus now, the movements of Deuce are quite restricted.

DID YOU KNOW...that when a Comanche Indian woman is in labor, she goes to a clearing a short distance from her camp where three four-foot stakes are set in the ground ten feet apart. She walks while she labors, and during each contraction, kneels down near a stake, grasping it on a level with her head. She is assisted by a female relative.

"Parents: People who spend half their time wondering how their children will turn out, and the rest of the time when they will turn in."

Have a great Monday everyone!!!

dad