Friday, August 29, 2003

Brainfarts for August 29, 2003

People have been asking me why I am not posting more frequently here and I always tell them that I wait for an event that's worthy of writing about and then do. If things are quiet and the kids are not doing something funny or worthy of writing about here, then I usually don't do anything. Well...that is changing today with a segment I am calling Brainfarts. These are random thoughts, musings and observations of mine that come along every so often. I'm not really sure what my motivation is for thinking about them but, what the heck, I'll throw them out there and see if I get any feedback.

Why do kids always want what they can't have? I take Elijah and Hannah to Melissa's house every morning. Elijah likes to eat cereal in the car on the way there. We have 47 boxes of cereal lined up in the pantry. I tell him he can have ANY cereal he wants EXCEPT Rice Krispies and Fruity Pebbles. Why? Because they are so small that they mess up my car. I don't want to clean Pebbles out of my car every morning. So, what happens? "I WANT RICE KRISPIES!"

"Elijah, I told you, we have 65 boxes of cereal here. There are TWO that you cannot have."

"Daddy - I want FRUITY PEBBLES."

You get the picture. 99% of the time, he ends up with a baggie of Cheerios. Everyone is happy in the end.


Why are doughnuts bad for you? WHO SET THIS RULE??? I demand to speak with this person in his/her office immediately!!! Doughnuts are not only healthy - they are their own FOOD GROUP! They are right in the middle of that silly Food Pyramid-triangle-grid thingy that everyone is supposed to follow. 2 fruits, 2 starches, 2 protein, 2 dairy and FOUR DOUGNUTS per day. That's what we are supposed to be eating. Dammit. Why do they put me through this aggravation?


I love fat people. I really do. I've been kinda-one all my life. I hold no bad feelings towards fat people at all. I just wish some of them would learn how to dress better.



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