Thursday, July 19, 2007

Guess What?

It's amazing how a two word sentence can change in meaning so much with the passing of time.

Lately, when Elijah tells a story - and he tells a lot of them - he works in the phrase "guess what?" about fifteen times.

"Dad - today we were learning some new tricks at karate camp and guess what? We learned how to do a roundhouse kick into someone's chest and guess what? I kicked my friend Adam in the chest and guess what? He shot a foam dart into my eye and guess what? I cried and guess what? Sensei put Adam in timeout but I still gave him a dollar because he gave me his original flavor Goldfish that he didn't eat for lunch."


"Elijah, you kept asking me to guess what happened and then never let me guess!"

"What are you talking about, Dad?"

I think he thinks that "guess what" is not a question but just a segue into the next sentence.

"Dad - you gave me peanut butter for lunch today but guess what. I don't eat peanut butter during the WEEK anymore. OK? Do you understand? I only eat peanut butter on the WEEKENDS now, Dad. OK? From now on, please pack me cream cheese sandwiches for camp during the week. OK? You know why? Because GUESS WHAT? I am a cream cheese kid now, Dad, OK? "


I have a vivid memory from when I was about eight years old. I was home late one afternoon when my Dad came home from work. He didn't look happy. Mom asked him what was wrong and Dad said, "Guess what?" Mom responded simply, "Don't tell me." Dad said, "OK, I won't tell you."

Sure enough, Dad was laid off.

It wasn't as funny then.

Kids can make ANY PHRASE funny.

"Dad - today at karate camp, my friend Stuart almost cut his finger off at the knuckle with nunchucks and guess what? He had to go to the hospital and get stitches and guess what? It was the grossest thing EVER. I think he needed a Band Aid. It sucks because I won't be able to kick his butt at PlayStation anymore. Guess what? He can't hold a controller when one of his fingers is busted off."

GUESS WHAT? Like you have not noticed!! There are sweeping changes going on here at the Basement. Please take the poll on the right hand side there and tell me what you think. There are more changes coming in the next few weeks. Guess it's the first mid-life change I am making.....

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