Miami 2008!!!

Well, the clan just returned from a sunny week in South Florida. We were there for seven days primarily to attend the festivities of Adam and Trudy's wedding. We got to hang out with a ton of family and it was a wonderful week!! The kids loved being with eachother and it was sad to go at the end. Elijah and Josh were like long lost buddies and the same with Hannah and Arianna.

We hung out on Carlos and Perla's deck for hours, took an amazing boat ride and, of course, attended the wedding. It was an outdoor affair that nearly got flooded out with torrential rains. However, just about thirty minutes before the first prayers were said, the rains stopped and the amazing crew dried up the area and we had a sunny wedding! Hannah was a flower girl and Elijah was one of the ring bearers - along with Joshie. They were spectacular, as you are about to see.

Some of my observations about the trip - in no particular order....

• Everyone in Miami is pissed off. Literally. We went to the Mens Warehouse tuxedo rental store in the mall to pick up our tuxedos. You would have thought the woman at the counter was being forced to violate her own sister or something. She threw around the tuxes, answered our questions with one or two words, and treated Brian like a second class citizen when he asked about a problem with Joshie's tux. I had similar experiences at the Macy's buying socks and at the Walgreens buying a frigging magazine.
• I think I got cut-off by drivers in Miami 419 times in seven days. WHATEVER! People speed up in the convertable Bentleys just so you can't make it off the exit ramp.
• Miami has more square footage of LEG than anywhere in the world. The woman in Miami have legs that go on forever. Honestly, I thought that some of them didn't have a crotch at all. There was a foot in a heel, an ankle, and calf, several feet up there was a knee, then a shiny thigh, then a few ruffles that made up the bottom of the mini-skirt, or should I say, MICRO skirt, and then a BELT. Several inches above the belt there was a belly button and then a mass of silicone followed by a bronzed neck with tatoos and a head. NO ASS. They skipped the whole area that makes up most people's tuchus and hoo-ha. Nada. Makes me wonder where they put it! For an ass man like me, I wasn't all that impressed.
• Business is done way different in Miami. Perfect example - gas was generally $3,25 a gallon everywhere I noticed. When I went to return the car to Hertz, there was ONE gas station within a mile or so. The price? $3,49 per gallon. Sleazy.
• The Miami nights in the springtime are absolutely brilliant. The sunset is incredible and the breeze off the water is heavenly. I could have sat on that deck all night, every night.
• Carlos and Perla were fantastic hosts. We felt totally taken care of the entire time we were there. The BBQ was insane, we got to have Perla's famous flan, and got to spend time in the magnificent massage chair in their living room. Hannah especially liked the leg massage as you will see in the video.

We didn't bring a single diaper with us to Miami!! Sadie is in panties all day and pull-ups at night. For the last few days, she's had a dry pull-up in the mornings too!! We are going shopping for bunk beds this weekend - the crib will soon be gone forever!!

We had a magnificent time in Miami. Thanks again to Carlos and Perla for your hospitality - we love you very much! Congrats to Adam and Trudy, currently on a two week jaunt in Europe. Love to all our family - it was great to see everyone - especially our nieces and nephews!! Gordie, Zac, Brandon and THE ROCK - we love you and it was great seeing you!! Lauren, Jessie, Joshie, Ari, DD, and Izzy!!! See y'all in Jersey in July!!!

Now for the goodies - but first a quick note from our sponser...

When you click over to my pictures and videos the next time, you will be asked to register with a username and password. This is the new, improved Phanfare application. I know it's a pain to register, but please take a moment to do this - you only need to do it once. Some of you will receive invitaions but I honestly do not know who is hopping over to the site so I don't have all your e-mails. Here's the link!! Or you can always use the link to the right as usual.

The Perfect Dessert!!!

Click here for the five minute video of the Borenstein Kids enjoying the perfect dessert.....

Why I Love My Mother

E-Mail from Tuesday afternoon:

Hello Jordan:

I just wanted to remind you that you still have your parents living and healthy in the State of New Jersey.

I don't ever remember being so busy that I could not call and say hello to my mother.

I hope you are well.

Love, Mom

Go ahead - you can laugh. It's true. Sometimes life gets too fast and days pass by. We speak a few times a week but I admit, I am not as good as she is at making calls. But, then again, getting e-mails like this reminds me of how much I love her. She has the ability to absolutely crack me up. I laughed for fifteen minutes when I read this tonight. I anticipate getting a similar one sent to me once she notices that I posted it here in the Basement.

Truth is, I am not too busy to say hello to my mother. So, I will do it right here for all to see:

HI MOM!!!!!

I love you!! Don't ever change.

Jews at the Mormon Tabernacle Choir!

Hee hee...that title should attract some interesting Google searchers to Jawdy's Basement!! :-)

But it's TRUE!!

Elijah took part in the Interfaith Concert a few weeks back and got to sing with his Hebrew School choir at the Tabernacle downtown!! Click here for the pictures and videos of this event. It was very cool and, even though you can't really see him sitting up in the rafters singing, he was definately there belting out "Shabbat Shalom" at the top of his lungs!!

Days of Future Past

My friend Gary and I used to spend countless hours in the original Jawdy's Basement on Country Club Drive in Cherry Hill, NJ jumping around playing air guitar to our favorite Judas Priest and Def Leppard songs in the early 1980's. When I say hours...I mean HOURS. Between those jam sessions and playing Intellivision and Strat-O-Matic, there was little time for anything else. All I can think of now is....THANK GOD THERE WAS NO SUCH THING AS GUITAR HERO BACK THEN....

If you have been in a cave for the last few years, this is what I am talking about. Deb bought it for me this week and I knew as soon as I strapped that guitar to my body that I was in for something spiritual. Since I got the game on Tuesday I have not stopped playing it. I've been transformed into a guitar god and am finally realizing my dream of stepping on the stage and making 23 year old girls throw their bras at me. Plus my kids think I am totally cool.

Gary has the game as well. He got it last month. We both play it on the Nintendo Wii and that means we can hook up via the net to play with eachother in career mode. When that happens, all of the memories of the jam sessions in Jawdy's Basement will return.

So is it bad for a 40 year old father of three to spend time jumping around his living room with a toy guitar strapped to his back screaming, "WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE!!!!!"??? The answer is simple. NOT if his kids are screaming back at him, "GO DADDY!!! YOU RAWK!!!!!!!"

I am just worried that I may stuff my slacks with a few pair of those tube socks I never threw away....

Anyway - on the subject of music. Most of you know my passion for most anything that rocks. I don't discuss music here in the Basement much because people always expect stories about the kids and such. However, there is so much fantastic music coming out these days and I am in heaven. My commute to work is so short so my listening times are at night when the kids are in bed and the headphones are strapped to my head (like now!). Anyway - my tastes are quite progressive these days and have been for a few years. If you want to hear GREAT music that rocks but is not the shite that's all over modern radio - check out some of the following albums - all released in the last twelve months...

The Dear Hunter - The Meaning of & All Things Regarding Ms. Leading
Phideaux - Doomsday Afternoon
Pure Reason Revolution - The Dark Third
The Pineapple Thief - What We Have Sown
Ayreon - 01011001
Riverside - Rapid Eye Movement
Sieges Even - Paramount
Foo Fighters - Echoes Silence Patience & Grace
Fish - 13th Star
Sixx A.M. - The Heroin Diaries
Kim Mitchell - Aint Life Amazing
Threshold - Dead Reckoning
Porcupine Tree - Fear of a Blank Planet

OK - there's the music section that most everyone will skip. LISTEN TO GOOD MUSIC!!!!

Oh - one more thing. That trip to Alaska that I wrote about? The defendant is GUILTY as charged! Guess I did my job! See the story here.

OK!! Back to shredding my toy guitar to Poison's "Talk Dirty to Me!!"

Seth

Most of you know that I spent ten years as a chaptor advisor in South Jersey Region AZA. My chapter was the Marlcrest Muchachos #2149. These ten years were some of the more rewarding and fulfilling of my life. The aspect of the whole experience that I never expected was the lasting relationships that I would forge during those years. To this day, I am still very much in touch with about a dozen of my "old kids" and Deb is in touch with a bunch of her girls as well.

This past Tuesday, there was a terrible tragedy in Hoboken, NJ. There was an apartment fire that displaced 40 families and took a young man's life. That man was Seth Dembowitz.

Click here for the story.

Seth Dembowitz was the older of two of the most charismatic brothers I've ever met. The other being his younger brother, Adam. Seth was of one of the first Godols (Presidents) in our chapter history. He made his mark as a strong leader and showed skills well beyond his years. Deb and I had a special relationship with Seth because he was dating one of Deb's girls (Elise Lipoff) and the two of them were the sweethearts of our region for awhile. We remember one specific evening when we invited Seth and Elise to our apartment for a double date. Deb cooked dinner for the four of us and it was a night I never forgot.

Seth went on to become President of his college Fraternity at Rutgers and continued to hone his leadership skills in recent years working for several large companies in New York City while living in Hoboken.

The news hit Deb and I like a ton of bricks. If we were in NJ, all of the BBYO kids from back in the day would have been at our house grieiving and talking about Seth. We especially hurt for Adam, who had become almost like a son to us over the years and who was very close with his brother, especially in recent years.

The funeral was today. Deb is in on a business trip in Malibu and I am here with the kids, unable to travel east. Plus I'm just over a weeklong battle with what the doctor called "mild pneumonia". Probably could not fly anyway. I heard the ceremony was beautiful. There were about a dozen Marlcrest guys there to represent, which was nice to hear.

So that's been my day. Getting over being sick, single dad for six days, unable to fly to PA for a funeral that I really should have been at and now Hannah is sick with a fever. Somebody throw me a bone!

Oh yeah and the flippin' Giants had to win the Superbowl too....

Rest in Peace, Seth Dembowitz...one of the greatest Muchachos in history....

Alaska?

When we were moving to Utah in 2006, I would ask people to guess where we were moving. They either said Utah or Alaska. So how fitting is it that I got to travel to Alaska this week for a business trip?

I flew through Seattle to Fairbanks, Alaska. Fairbanks, for those who don'e know, is way inland. It's a small town of 90,000 people that's a three hour and twenty minute flight from Juneau, the state capital. It's WAY in there.

I had been looking up the temperatures in the days preceding the trip to see what I was in for. It had been ten or fifteen degrees earlier in the week but was going to dip to SIXTEEN BELOW for the two days I was there. I could not wait.

I arrived in pitch darkness at 6:15pm and took a taxi to the hotel. I had meetings on Friday with a bunch of people and so I went to bed early. Friday turned out to be one of the most memorable days I've had in a long, long time.

I was there with three other people. One women is from Orange County, CA and the other two are from Washington D.C. The four of us stuck together most of the day. Anyway, at some point early on, the woman from Orange County struck up a conversation with some man she had met there. We were going to have the entire afternoon free and she wound up actually asking this man if he would show us around. To make a long story short, this amazing man took us in his pickup truck with minus-ten degree temperatures and drove us on a two and a half hour tour of Fairbanks. What a guy!! I'll give him props. Click here to see him. It turns out he is a state representative and never told us! I just Googled him when I got home. What a nice man. He showed us the Alaskan pipeline, took us to the town of North Pole and showed us some cool air force bases there. We were just a 45 minute plane ride from Russia, so naturally there are large bases and a large military population there.

We went to an amazing dinner that night and when we left the restaurant, it was twenty-four degrees below zero outside. To describe when that felt like would do it a disservice. My pants (I was wearing khakis) immediately stiffened up and the wind literelly pecked at my face. Breathing was difficult and I started to suffer brain freeze after about sixty seconds. I felt like pounding my head against the side of the car to rattle my head a little bit. It was certainly a strange feeling, to say the least.

In Fairbanks, your car needs to be equipped with a special electric plug to the battery and oil pan. In sub-zero temperatures, you plug your car in to a standard outlet at night so the oil pan stays warm. When you go to start your car in the morning, the warm oil coats the pistons and helps get your car going. Failure to do this, or have a heated garage, will keep your car from starting until it gets warm again. Not good!

You can see some pictures and videos, as usual, right here. I hope to go back again someday...in the summer. The summertime brings 21 hours of sunlight per day and an average temperature of 70 degrees. Now, it gets light around 10:30 and then gets dark again around 4:30. They say it's going down to fifty below this weekend!!

Utah in a Nutshell

Have you seen the weather today? We got slammed with the worst storm we've had since we moved here. I was not expecting it to snow; had no idea at all. I woke up this morning and took a look on my deck and saw six inches on my table. Plus the snow was literally pouring down. It was 7am and I had to be at work for an important 8am meeting. Deb and the kids were off today for the holiday.

I quickly showered and threw on some boots to go dig out and start up my car. I planned on coming back in the house to gather some things before leaving for the day. I opened my front door and could barely see the end of the walkway with all the snow. As I neared the driveway, I heard banging coming from the pavement ahead. I could not believe what I saw next.

Standing there on my driveway with snow halfway up his calves, was my next door neighbor, Paul. The kids call him Mr. Paul. He's taken a liking to us since we moved here. He's not a Mormon but he's a Deacon for a Presbyterian church nearby and absolutely loves our kids. Plus, his wife's name is Leora, which is Hannah's middle name. Anyway, there he was, shoveling MY DRIVEWAY at 7:05 in the morning with a regular old shovel. He had already paved the way for me to leave and was in the process of cleaning off my car with a massive snow brush when I caught him red-handed.

"Mr. Paul...what on earth are you doing? Your house is over THERE," I said, pointing next door. His driveway had not been touched.

"Ha ha...I know. I just woke up this morning and took one look outside and said, 'There's no way Jordan is going to get to work on time today'. I'm just being a good neighbor."

Now, Mr. Paul is no spring chicken. He's 64 years old. And he was SHOVELING MY DRIVEWAY at 7 in the freaking morning!!

"I don't know what to say, Mr. Paul....I honestly have never witnessed such incredible kindness in a neighbor in my entire life."

I couldn't! All I had to do was start my car, pull out and drive to work. No shoveling required. Mr. Paul probably went back home and shoveled his whole driveway when he was done with mine. Amazing.

I was thinking how this would never happen in New Jersey. Back there, the neighbors make it a point to shovel their own driveways and DUMP THE SNOW ON YOURS.

There is a greater lesson to be gained from this as well....not to get all sappy on the Basement readers...but it's true...

I spent the entire morning and most of the day with a good attitude. I was smiling and had an extra skip in my step all day. Even though we were slammed with almost TWO FEET of snow and it was cold as hell, I spent the day with a smile. It's because of Mr. Paul. He get's the "Wattaguy Award" for the year so far. I don't know how to repay him.

I always tell the kids, do the unexpected. Everyone knows the saying, "Do what you've always done and you'll get what you've always gotten." Well, what about if you do something special for someone? Perform a random act of kindness. Pay it forward, so to speak. Not only is it good karma, but is builds self esteem and can really change the outcome of a person's day. Plus, everyone wins. I am sure that Mr. Paul had an extra hop in his step today too. How amazing is that? He got his butt out of bed at 7am to shovel MY DRIVEWAY because he thought it would make it easier for ME to get to work. ME!! What have I ever done for him? I think I remember a time last summer when we were at a street BBQ and I had to pass gas and I made sure I turned AWAY from Mr. Paul. Did he remember that????? Maybe he was repaying my courtesy?

I have a feeling this will leave a lasting impression on me. I also told the story in my morning sales meeting with my staff and to the kids when I got home. I don't know if he reads the Basement but, "Thanks Mr. Paul. You made my day!!"

My Biggest Fans

Since I started Jawdy's Basement nearly five years ago, there have been amazing upgrades and improvements made to the Blogger service. Some I am using like videos and pictures, and some I don't dabble much in because I am not an expert in coding websites and things of that nature.

Some of the coolest enhancements to the Blogger service are actually created by outside companies, such as the cool FlicR picture strip on the site. One of this cool apps is called Feedjit. They provide a service that allows me to see from where in the world people who land on the site are from. Of course, I don't get any personal ID information, just the city and state or country the person is in when they land on Jawdy's Basement.

Now, sometimes people land here as a direct result of them searching for a topic on Yahoo or Google. My site comes up as a hit for that search and, viola, here they are. The cool thing about Feedjit is that I can actually SEE the search tags that people type in on the search engine.

Several months ago, I started compiling a list of some of the most outrageous search engine searches people used that led them to Jawdy's Basement. Here are some of my favorites..

Now, keep in mind that the searches were typed in my the people in the EXACT format that you are seeing them below....

"When DYFS comes to your home"

"Suzanne Sommers Playboy" (I get this one a LOT - at least once a week)

"Stuck on Band Aid"

"Swallowed bone surgery"

"I hear flapping noises in my walls"

"Happy Birthday burrito"

"First trip to the urologists office"

"24 hour suitcase store in Utah"

"Photos of severed testes and penis"

"Sliced scrotum"

"vasectomy+double hernia"

People look for some really sick shit and I am more than happy to provide them pictures of my kids when they do this.

I am going to continue to compile the best of the best and post them here now and again.

By the way, the five year anniversary of Jawdy's Basement is on March 25th. Guess I'll have to do something special to mark the occasion. Maybe I'll just toss up a post with 25 or so vile and disgusting phrases so I can attract more traffic to the site!!

New Years with the Turers!

Click here to see pictures and videos of our week with the Turers here which culminated in a homeade pizza making New Years party!! We had a great time with our friends and were very sad when they left.

Happy New Year everyone!!!!!

Answering the Age Old Question....

So what do Jews do on Christmas?

The Wii is for EVERYONE!

Abuela was here for a few days this week to surprise the kids. It was their surprise final Hanukkah gift and, as expected, they went nuts. The highlight for me, though, was watching my MOM play a video game for the first time EVER. She did pretty well playing tennis on the Wii. Take a look...

Pay Day

Today was one of those days. I am not going to say much, as I am going to let the video do the talking. However, when I was in the flower shop today buying three pink roses for Hannah, the florist asked me what the occasion was. I told him that my four year old was starring in her first play called The Little Red Hen. He said, "Parenthood is very hard most of the time but then you get a night like tonight and it's like a big pay day." How right he is....

Please click here to witness some of the most precious video I've ever shot. There are two albums. One of from last week - the first night of Hanukkah - when Elijah got the Nintendo Wii. The other is from the show tonight in which Hannah stole the hearts of a hundred or so people at her school show. It was also Sadie's first performance and there is a clip of here as well in there.

Today is also Elijah's EIGHTH birthday. I feel bad because last year I wrote a short novel on his seventh birthday (you can see the post in the archives to the right) and he is getting just a mention this year. He had a great birthday and was a total trooper with us having to go see Sadie and Hannah perform on HIS night. HOWEVER, Abuela is surprising him again tomorrow and all will be well in the world again. :-) Happy Birthday, Elijah...you are the best boy in the world.

Enjoy the pics and videos. It's over 12 minutes worth!

SNOW!!!!!

It's GORGEOUS here today!! We are getting eight inches or so of snow and it's sticking and we PLAYED IN IT!!! Click here to see more pics and an awesome video of Sadie playing in the snow for the first time. It's precious!!!

Thanksgiving 2007

Click here to see pictures and videos of our Thanksgiving day yesterday. Hannah was the start of the show, as you can see....

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!!!

He's Going to Be an Attorney!

(leaving the Utah Jazz game last week, walking back to the car with Elijah)

"Daddy, look over there, that man is playing the accordion on the corner."

"He is. He's pretty good, dontcha think? Here, put this in bucket that's in front of him."

(hand Elijah 70 cents)

"OK!"

(walks up the the man and cautiously puts the change in his bucket)

"Why is he on the corner late at night, in the cold, playing the accordion, Dad?"

"He's homeless and has no money."

"He's broke? How did he afford the accordion, then?"

Sadie Pearl

Our baby is turning two years old on Sunday. I remember when I was two years old. The White Album had just come out. How could I forget that?

Sadie has grown up SO FAST since the beginning of the summer. It's mind boggling. She speaks in complete sentences now and can clearly communicate all of her emotions and needs. There's no confusion now at the dinner table if she's pooping or asking for more apple juice.

Lately, she's been so freaking cute and it's so hard to put in words. Every single morning when Deb gets her out of her crib she runs upstairs and slams into me screaming, "Daddy!! I'm awake!! I MISSED YOU!!"

Every time we change her diaper she runs into the bathroom to sit on the potty. For about five seconds. Then she jumps off and flushes the toilet. She watches intently as the clean, wasted water goes down the drain while saying, "Bye bye pee pee!!" Does she really think she peed?

Sadie has also become a bit of a star at the synagogue. All eyes are always on her at Friday night services as she dances around and says hi to everyone. She has a fan club there.

I can laugh at this now, several weeks later, but it was not so funny at the time. However, this is Sadie to a tee so the story needs to be told. Deb had a few business trips last month and I was with the kids for a few days. One afternoon I was hanging with Sadie watching TV when the phone rang. It was a friend of mine and we were talking for about ten minutes when I noticed Sadie had left the room. Not a big deal for most kids - the house is pretty much kid-proofed and she certainly could not get out of the house at all. However, this is Sadie Pearl we are talking about. I paniked. I hung up with my friend and begain to search the house. I found Sadie not thirty seconds later. She was sitting ON HER DRESSER. Yes, she was sitting ON HER DRESSER. Do I need to type that again? She was SITTING ON HER DRESSER. How she got up there - no idea. She must have used the small, round knobs on the drawers to scale the front of it. Anyway, it gets better. In one hand, she held a red and organge striped shirt. No big deal. Then I looked at her legs. She was wearing blue jeans. I sort of recognized them as they were the ones I put her in that morning. However, they were different now. You see, several weeks before Deb and I were packing up old clothes from the girl's room and putting them in Rubbermaid containers. So I would not forget what clothes were in each bin, I labeled them. Common sense, right? Yeah. Well, my label maker of choice was a black, permanent Sharpie marker. When I was done with the marker that day, I thought I would place it in an ENCLOSED CONTAINER and, hmmm, where's a HIGH place where a two-year old kid could NEVER reach it? YEAH - on top of a dresser! That's perfect!! We call those jeans her "Zebra pants" now. Hyperventilating, I lifted the smiling girl off the dresser, placed her on the floor and began to admire her artwork. The dresser top was neatly scribbled on, as was her WINDOW SILL where about fifteen innocent, completely unsuspecting stuffed animals live. I hope they like their new stripes. The shirt that Sadie was holding was also redesigned. She wears it still. It's a red, orange and BLACK striped shirt now. Amazingly, the Sharpie was placed back in the container from which it came and said container was CLOSED BACK UP again. Incredible.

We are just going to The Mayan for dinner and to watch the hot cliff divers tomorrow to celebrate. She'll enjoy it.

Happy Birthday, my little angel!! I am going to New Jersey next week for four days and when I get back to Utah, I can't wait to hear those magic words..."I MISSED YOU!!!"

New Pics and Vids!

Hello out there!!!  Short update today...just to direct you to the Utah Borensteins Phanfare site for a massive video update today.  There are several recent videos of the kiddies including on of Sadie that is an all-timer.  As she approaches her second birthday, she's really catching on the the whole "talking" thing...  There are a bunch of pics from Halloween as well as MORE videos!!  Enjoy!!!  Next post soon...

Click here for the videos!!

Picture Break....

Here's a few shots as we enjoy Grandpa's visit to Utah this week.

Also - at the bottom - Elijah got his Purple Belt on Saturday morning!! The video shows part of his test. We are all very proud!!!!

Only in Utah!

No words are needed. Yes, it's SEPTEMBER...